Wrapping herself around him, she said, “No baby, you didn’t. He made that choice. I know you well enough to be sure that you had lectured him time and again about the dangers there.”
Turning haunted eyes on her he rasped, “It wasn’t enough Ellie. Now there is a wife without a husband and a child without a father. If I had only been sharper, faster, I could have saved him. I should have never let him out of my line of sight!”
“Declan, stop! You can’t shoulder the blame for what happened. Craig joined the military knowing the risks just like you did. It sounds like he had a huge heart and wanted to save everyone regardless of the risk to himself. Don’t take that away from him. He probably saw things daily that shook his faith in the world, but he still hung on to his humanity, his basic need to believe that people are good and worth saving. Even though it was a trap, let his last act of selflessness and bravery stand in honor of him. There had to have been a split second when he questioned his actions, but his need to be who he was eclipsed all rational thought.” Running her hand through his hair and caressing his scalp, she asked, “What happened after that?”
On a laugh that held very little humor he said, “I took his place as the loose cannon. I lost my f**king mind for a while. I took stupid risks and put myself on the front line at every opportunity. If it hadn’t been for Mac saving my ass a few times, I probably wouldn’t have made it home. I had planned to be career military, but as the time drew near to re-up, Mac sat me down and told me that not only had I become a liability to myself, I was to the rest of the group as well. Suddenly, I knew how Craig must have felt having all of us watching him like a hawk. Even though I said some pretty nasty things to Mac, it forced me to take a long, hard look at where I was and where I was headed and for the first time since I had enlisted, I was scared. Not of the enemy though, but of myself. Mac was right, it was time to go. I couldn’t live through another person dying on my watch or worse yet, being the cause of it.”
Curious, she asked, “Who’s Mac? Is he still in the military?”
With his first genuine smile since they had started talking, he said, “His name is actually McKinley Powers. Sounds like a real prick, right?”
Smiling at the obvious affection in his voice, she said, “I think it’s a great name.”
“Mac left when I did. We enlisted together. Just a couple of hotheaded, hell-raisers looking for a purpose. Lucky or unlucky enough, depending on how you look at it, to get shipped off together. I think he only re-upped for his second tour because he hated to leave me behind. I think he would have left at the end of the second one though even if he had to bodily force me out along with him. He does private security in this area now. Danvers is one of his clients.”
“Hmmm, have I met him?”
“I doubt it, Ellie, unless you’ve done something to get you arrested and escorted from the building. Mac isn’t there much unless there is a problem. His company has grown and he stays pretty busy. We manage to catch a beer sometimes though, plus he drops in to check on Ava from time to time.”
“Your sister?”
“Yep, that would be her.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you two don’t look anything alike. She’s so pretty, but quiet. Oh, shit! I mean shoot. I didn’t mean that you’re not pretty. I mean not pretty, handsome. You are handsome and sexy . . . I just meant, you look different. I—”
Declan clamped his hand over her mouth as she continued to rattle on. “Ellie, babe, I know what you’re trying to say so relax. I’m nothing like either one of my siblings and I readily accept that. Every family needs a black sheep and I’m it for the Stone family. Ava is quiet. She wasn’t always, but shit happened. Mac was there for her and he still is.”
“What—” Suddenly the air left her lungs in a whoosh as Declan flipped her backwards and eyed her naked body. She had completely forgotten about clothes when she was roused from sleep. She knew she should be embarrassed, but the look in his eyes made her feel bold and sexy. When he continued to inspect her body without touching her, she took his hand and placed it on one aching nipple. His eyes widened and grew heavy.