Julie sprang to her feet and clutched his arm. “Wait! You have a son! Oh God, I’m sorry to blurt that out, but I owe it to Evan to try.” Then he was aware that she kept talking, but he couldn’t hear past the roaring in his ears. He hadn’t felt this shell-shocked since he left active duty in Afghanistan. Julie finally took mercy on him and pulled him back down in his chair.
Even though he knew in his gut that she wasn’t lying, he couldn’t stop himself from snapping, “No f**king way, lady. I always use protection.”
“Well, if you can remember all of the details of that night then you are doing better than I am. Before you even make your next comment let me say that, I . . . hadn’t been with a man since my mom got sick so you were it, Declan. Even if I were in doubt, which I’m not, there is no question that Evan is your son. He is the spitting image of you. I had no idea how much until I saw you again walking down the hall this morning. If was like looking at an older version of my son . . . your son. Um . . . are you alright?”
He knew from the concern in her voice, that he must look as green as he felt. He had a son? How in the hell had that happened? Men like him didn’t usually have kids and the ones who did would never be father of the year. Even though he felt the urge to puke, he was surprised at how well he was holding up considering the enormity of Julie’s confession. Without saying a word, he signaled for the waitress and ordered a double scotch, neat. He rarely drank during the day, but this was no ordinary lunch. Julie wisely waited until his drink was delivered and he had thrown it back before speaking.
“Do you um . . . need some time to process this? I know it’s a lot to drop on you. Just let me say that I don’t want anything from you, Declan. I have supported my son since he was born and I will continue to do so. I just didn’t want to miss this opportunity for Evan to know his father even if it’s in very small measures.”
“If you knew my name and that I was in the military, why didn’t you try to contact me?”
Julie’s laugh held little humor. “Uncle Sam can be closemouthed. I tried to find out where you were stationed and an address, but I couldn’t get anywhere. I even had someone tell me that if the military gave contact information to every female who called in claiming to be pregnant, the bases would be overrun with female civilians trying to find men that usually didn’t want to be found. She followed up this helpful information by telling me that if you had wanted to speak to me again, you would have given me your address or number and that I should just give it up. After that, I decided that I needed to start making plans and stop trying to figure out how to find you. I just panicked when I found out and desperately needed some kind of support. Luckily, I have some pretty great friends who have been very helpful adopted aunts and uncles to Evan.”
Declan shook his head in disbelief before finally deflating on a loud sigh. “Julie, what are you looking for here? I know you claim not to want financial support, but what if that’s all I can offer you? I’ve hardly lived a lifestyle that you would want your son around, hell, you should know that. I’ve never even really been around kids except for the one that Jason and Claire keep shoving in my hands when I’ve had to stop by their house to pick up some contracts a few times. Truthfully, when that happens, I spend the next few minutes trying to hand her back.”
Julie threw back her head and laughed. “Chrissie is a baby, Declan, Evan is a bit different. He’s not likely to pee, poop or throw-up on you and he is getting too heavy for me to lift so you don’t have to worry about me shoving him into your arms. I’m not asking for any type of commitment from you. I just want you to see Evan once. Not as his father, but as a friend. I won’t tell him who you are unless you want that in the future. I’d never get him excited like that and then have you disappear. When and if he knows that you’re his father, it will be because you plan to take an active part in his life.” Holding up her hand to stop him, she added, “When I say active part, I mean with Evan only. I’m not looking for anything personally from you. I am engaged to a wonderful man, Graham, whom Evan loves as well.”
Declan surprised himself when he asked, “Do you have a picture with you?” Julie nodded and took her wallet from her purse. Her face softened as she looked at the photo before handing it to him. He felt a kick right to his gut as he studied the child in the picture. There was indeed a strong resemblance there and despite his best efforts, he felt a longing that he never would have thought he’d feel. Holding it up, he asked, “Can I keep this?”
Julie looked pleased by his question. “Of course. I would have brought more, but I had no idea . . .”
“Thanks. So what exactly did you have in mind as far as me, uh, meeting him?”