“It doesn’t matter,” I reprove, discounting his worries. “It’s too late for me, but it isn’t for Manuel. Give him the chance you wanted me to have, Carlo. It’s all I ask. It’s all I fucking want right now. I don’t want Papà’s approval or Zane’s love. Right now, I want Manuel safe and happy.”
“And this is what he wants?” Carlo asks. I’ve been waiting for this question. I’ve gone in all guns blazing, and Manuel doesn’t even know what I have planned for him. I know him – he’ll strive for loyalty to us, he’ll stand due to kinship to us, and he’ll be afraid of what lies in wait for him when he has a full life to live free from any limitations.
“This is what he gets,” I remark, keeping myself fiery and sharp. I cannot back down from doing the one thing that we should have done years ago. “We all know how he doesn’t fit into Papà’s teaching. We all see he doesn’t have our same strength, and I don’t want him to love that – ever. I want him to have the chance we never had, Carlo.”
“You had your chance to get out,” Carlo counters; he’s incensed over his battle of who to save first. “I had you nearly packing your bags and you squander your chance for Manuel.”
“I’ve been saved,” I tell him, giving a glimmer of a small smile. “Zane has saved Carlo and me. Leaving is just the end game, and we’re nearly there, but Manuel doesn’t have that hope. If he stays here any longer, he will get dragged down, and I dread to think what monster Papà will make of him.”
“What’s going on here now?” Giovanni says and comes to stand between Carlo and I. “It’s looking cozy.”
“I think you need to back away,” Bruno interjects, and I’ve never been happier to be surprised by him. “They’re clearly discussing something that doesn’t involve you.”
“Oh, fucking hell,” Giovanni grunts, stepping back. “You’re becoming a pain in my fucking ass, Bruno. What are you even doing here?”
“I’m here to keep a close eye on you,” Bruno remarks and smiles happily at Giovanni, furthering his annoyance. “Now, why don’t we leave this pair?”
“Nah,” Giovanni declines the offer. “I want to find out what these two are concocting. All I know is it involves Manuel, and that little Bastardo isn’t getting away with anything any longer.”
“If you even so much as go near our brother, I’ll have your balls,” Bruno threatens, stepping back toward Giovanni, bristling quickly. “Don’t test my patience because I will strike lucky and make you suffer.” I watch Bruno stare Giovanni down. “If I find out you so much as harmed a single hair on his head, you’ll wish you were never born into this family.”
“You need to calm it,” Giovanni mocks, putting his hands up in mock defeat. “Seriously,” he continues and then leaves us behind.
Bruno turns to both Carlo and me and fixes us both with an all-knowing look. “I don’t know what you’re discussing, but it’s not safe to discuss it here.”
“Okay,” Carlo agrees. “Where’s our old man?”
“Salvatore’s dealing with business,” Bruno says, putting his arm out for me to link onto. “Shall we go and keep people happy?” I agree by linking onto him and then he turns to our brother. “Someone was looking for you over by the bar.”
As I’m being led away, I enter complete autopilot. I keep close to my brothers, take drinks, and lap up some attention, but my mind is solely on Zane. After another hour, I realize my father isn’t coming back, so I decide to bow out, too.
I don’t even let the clock strike midnight before I take my moment to leave. I slip away without even being spotted.
***
As I push my key to unlock the door to Zane’s apartment, I find myself musing. Love has cast this spell on me, and while I aim to be a better person because of it, I cannot stop myself from becoming deathly protective of it. Zane once bent and broke me, but that wasn’t enough to deter me. Many nights I lay awake wondering how I could allow myself right back into the position I was in before, and I could only deduce one reason – true love.
Like the love my mother used to share, she was selfless when it came to her children. Her acts were those of someone fiercely shielding those who she loved most. It was that which ultimately led to her death, but I don’t see any other way but a full life with Zane.
Death isn’t an option I care to choose.
I open the door and enter fully. If anything, I’m ready to crawl into bed with my man and sleep off my alcoholic buzz, I’m living with. I walk just inside the door and turn to face it once again. I slowly push it to, trying to make as little noise as possible.
“Well, that doesn’t leave much to imagination.” Zane’s comment drives me straight into the reality while also forcing me to spin around on the spot. I find him sitting in front of the TV, lounged out in the recliner armchair, beer in hand.
I decide not to be deterred.
“Hence, why I wore it home,” I muse, almost purring with seduction. I run my hands down my body as if to straighten the dress out, but really I want to strip and be given a reason to forgot the outside world all over again.