I shrug, toying with a pink one as I open the end, ready to eat the sugary goodness. “I’m surprised my teeth haven’t rotted with the amount I’ve eaten since you left me.” I finalize my statement by eating the candy in a similar fashion as Zane had previously. “But, would you look at that, your love didn’t kill me, and the self-wallowing didn’t either. I’m here to stay for round two.” I throw him a wink to which he laughs at. This time he, thankfully, doesn’t ending up a pained mess.
“I still do promise round two will be unforgettable,” he vows, sincerity looping around every syllable of his promise.
“It is already,” I sigh happily.
He gives me one last smile before the silence creeps in between us.
As I sit here, I watch him resting. He’s on the cusp of sleep, obviously compartmentalizing everything’s that happened. His gorgeous face is so cast over with harsh emotions, and I feel a drizzle of guilt run down my spine. My family had a hand in this; I had a hand in this. No amount of avenging will take that connotation away from me. That will be with me for life. There is no amount of consolation that will change that fact – who I am gets people killed.
And I wonder how I ended up here – a panicked woman in love after I had spent so long hatefully despising Zane’s mere existence. It took me so long to fuel a part of hate toward him, but it took one sighting of him – hell one sound of his name from my father’s lips – and I was hooked back on him. There was no real forgiveness, no begging or groveling, just that feeling of finally being whole once more.
I take one last look at his calmness before I speak.
“Did you ever think we would be here?” I break the silence and watch as he looks back at me. “Back to the point when even the silence was comfortable, that is.”
“It was always only you that I felt myself around most,” Zane declares, offering a small shoulder shrug. “I guess I never expected to be able to get you to talk to me again so quickly, but I knew our second chance was the chance when you did.”
I lay a hand on his calf, giving myself a connection to him as I remember our first meeting back together. I look at him and feel my heart rate begin to gallop as I remember everything’s that happened in the last few days. “I won’t lie; I did die a little when I heard the news, but ever since I’ve had to be here, Zane. I cannot leave you at all. That is final.” I feel my eyes water, the tears flood and pour down my cheeks quickly, but I keep my distance from Zane. The only proximity we have with one another is our bodies side by side. He can’t reach me and wipe my tears, and right now, I can’t tolerate that amount of intense care. “And because of it, I’m scared what will happen to me.”
“Nothing will happen to you,” he tells me and begins to sit up.
“Zane,” I berate and clamber from my seat on the end of his bed to press him gently back down onto the pillows.
“Amelia, just stop for a moment, please.” His hands grab onto me, and I still, looking at him. “I don’t care what happens, but you are safe with me. I won’t ever let them hurt you.”
“You’re not always there, though,” I murmur lightly, my eyes dropping down. “You can’t save me from my own family. It’s nearly impossible.”
He doesn’t know the unimaginable things I have witnessed – the killings, the abuse, the near misses. He hasn’t lived years governed by murderous talk, police raids in the middle of the night, living in fear of how every action could come with a killer consequence. I have, and it means I am more aware of the power my father has garnered around him. As he has said before, I am expendable and easily discarded. It’s a looming threat not simply forgotten—especially since my father spoke it.
“There are some things you can’t save me from.” I try to pull away from his grasp, but all I get is Zane’s hands tightening around my arms keeping me in place so he can impart one last verse on me.
“There are some things I am more than willing to try, Sweetheart.” He gives me a small grin, the twinkle returning to his eyes. “I told you once I was a daring bastard. I’ll take all the risks for you.”
“You’re a stupid bastard,” I joke, laughing tearfully at him.
“Maybe,” he says, shrugging again. “But I will always save you. At least, until you tell me not to.” His head falls to the side as he speaks, his eyes never leaving mine. “And then I want a real reason why not.”
“I have no reasons right now,” I tell him truthfully, a tear betraying me and trailing down my face.
“Then we are pretty damn good, right now, Amelia Abbiati.” His hands drop so his hands are holding mine. “Nothing else matters.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN