This is not how I expected my evening to turn out in the slightest. My father offered understanding and granted me time. Then my brother stepped up and presented our father with a human sacrifice he had slaughtered in the name of protection and now my life hangs in the balance.
It’s these moments of utter desolation that I realize just how alone I am in the world. There is only so much Enzo can help with, but sometimes I wish I had my mother around to offer guidance that would offer solace.
“Well, look who’s propping up the bar without me.” Zane’s voice penetrates the haze around my brain. The tone is so full of wonderment, but all I feel for him is a twist of anguish. It’s brutal as it rushes through me, and I feel myself crack all over again. Instead of looking at him, I hang my head. “Amelia?” he asks, all amusement and tease relinquishing its hold on him. “What’s happened?”
“It’s nothing,” I admit feebly, and my hands grip my glass as if without it my entire form will cave. I feel Zane pull a stool closer to mine, and I feel his body cut off the majority of the bar when he sits, as if it’s a shield. “It’s everything,” I divulge in a meek voice. I barely recognize my own voice, but it is, and I need to face the facts – Amelia Abbiati is sinking fast.
I can feel this ocean waiting to crash over my entire being. Its call of duty to drown me in its depths and drag me away across the ocean floor, consuming me in its vast beauty. Soon I will stop treading the currents and allow it to take me willingly.
Admitting defeat is not something I am prepared for, however, so inhaling deep, I quit hanging my head and sit up. It’s time to take charge. Time to get some sort of achievement before the night is over. “What do you see yourself as today?” I ask him, my words slurring beautifully. “Are you my knight in shining armor or my fucking kryptonite?”
His lips curl upwards. He begins to grin like a child on Christmas morning, and it’s nauseating to say the least. “I’m your kryptonite?”
“As much as I am yours, Sunshine.” I take my drink, down a gulp and look back to him. “The only problem I see here is that even my family knows how in love I am with you. They don’t need to know this.”
“Well, lie to them,” he tells me nonchalantly, giving me a blasé shrug. “That’s the easiest solution if you don’t want them to know.”
I shake my head and chortle a little at him. “People only lie when they’re afraid. Fact.”
“Did Daddy Dearest teach you that one, Princess?” he asks me, leaning over toward me.
“No,” my words are swiftly followed by a smirk, “You did.”
I watch as all amusement disperses from his face. My comment breaks his normal pretentious attitude; it takes his entire happy demeanor and squishes it into nothing more than harsh reality we live in.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I counter, challenging his newfound expression. “You lied when you said you loved me once and wanted forever with me, Zane. You did that because you were afraid of my family. You lied and gave me promises when you knew all along you were going to run sometime in the future.”
“Granted,” he agrees, “but why can’t you just lie to them about round two with me?”
I look at him with doleful eyes. “Zane, we aren’t the same people we were over a year ago. You might think you are, but I am not that girl.”
“I don’t think you are, Amelia, I know you are,” he fights me on the matter. “The other night, in my car, it was proof. We are unchangeable, Sweetheart. You know you felt it.”
“Just because sexually we’re the same, does not mean in every other department we are. I changed the moment my heart broke, and you need to understand that. I’m not that sweet girl. I was changing into something else back then, but now there is no going back.” I gulp back the lump forming in my throat and sit up straight. “You are better staying away from me.”
“You’ll have to try harder than that,” he admonishes, not listening to a word I’ve just said. “If I have my way, you will be the girl you’ve always wanted to be.” He leans closer, putting his hand on the back of my chair to form a closeness between us. “You’ve just got to give us a chance.”
“This is going to end badly,” I oppose and reach for my drink. I can feel the alcohol is loosening my tongue enough, and I know I should stop, but the burn of the liquor down my chest is inviting enough that I can’t stop myself. “So, I’ll ask again, are you my knight in shining armor or my kryptonite? Before we go further, I need to know.”
He smirks so casually at me. “I’m your knight in shining armor laced in kryptonite.” He looks so sure of himself, but all I can think is one dangerous thought – This cannot bode well. “Sweetheart, let loose,” he tells me, even throwing in my derogatory nickname for impact. He only uses that one to get a reaction from me. “I keep saying it. You just need to loosen up a little.”