I try to keep my focus on Carlo, but I have to look at my father. I have to give him one glance to see how the truth really feels for the man who once had it all at his feet. I’m left breathless at how stoic my father remains, taking this onslaught as if his ultimate punishment is this. I know it’s not. My father deserves more than a few curse words and truths. He deserves to feel what we all have under his reign. But I will not be alone in that thought. I cannot do that alone and if this is the start of the rebellion, I am all for it succeeding.
“What makes this harder for me is the battle I’ve tried to fight against you, Salvatore. For years, I’ve been the disobedient one, the delinquent, and you never even so much as saw it, but I think now is the most perfect opportunity for me to step up and tell you exactly what it is I’ve been up to every time I have left the house.” Carlo is unstoppable now. All his secrets are flowing free and the liberation he wants is close enough for him to grasp. He’ll finally be free of his secrets. “I started to get people out of the lifestyle when Madre died. I hated what we did to people and I wanted a hand in helping. It takes a while, but every person I've been able to get out is one less person people like you can damage. Manuel and Amelia were meant to be two more people I got out, but because of you, we failed that! Because of you, I now have to live every day feeling like I failed myself and I failed them."
The ebb that rushes into my chest is a tidal wave of emotions I didn’t intend to feel because of Carlo. He's always been able to instill calm and remain that way, but seeing him this way tells the true fall of our family. I wonder if Sal or Giovanni ever saw this as an outcome.
Death doesn't stop in the absence of a beating heart. The ripple effect continues to invade and crawl into every corner of life and doesn't stop there. It craves more until it has every last drop of normalcy. Manuel's death will resonate within all of us for decades to come. It'll be a wound I never heal from, a scar that will all always pain me, yet a cross I’ll learn to bear.
Carlo has always saved people; this will be a failure that he'll take to the grave. It's a forgiveness he'll never find.
“All the years I played the doting son, I was actually the one who loathed you and your motives most.” Now, true venom laces his tone, taking every etched word victim. “I am not a part of this family for you, and I never will be. I am only still here as long as Enzo and Amelia. After that, we’ll be gone like Bruno is.”
Giovanni mockingly laughs at us all. “So, you’re all going to cast out your futures because of me?”
“I’ll deal with this,” my father says, from the calmness. This is something they’ve discussed before. “This is not your place! You have said and done enough and I believe it’s time you stood there and wait for me to find a way to deal with this!” Our father steps in, attempting to play the devil’s advocate toward Giovanni for the first time in his entire life. “We can fix this, Giovanni. We discussed this. I lost a son, and I won’t lose you, either!”
“There’s nothing to fix! I told you I’d show you who was the perfect heir, and I promised I’d show you who the weakest links were. You even saw it as it were. Over the past few months, you began to see who was destroying us from the inside out. You believed me. I just had to make you fully understand.”
“But not like this!” our father argues.
“Exactly like this!” Giovanni shouts, making his move.
Giovanni shoves our father hard, his feet tripping over one another in an attempt to stabilize himself. In that instance where we all react involuntarily to a falling man, miss seeing Giovanni make his move. It isn’t until Enzo sees the back of Giovanni disappearing that Enzo begins to shout, Bruno and Carlo too as they realize what’s happened and Giovanni begins to make a getaway. My brothers run after him and I’m left shocked into my spot. The entire notion of my father riddles me with consternation, but why am I surprised? Zane is now directly beside, supporting me as my body slowly finds exhaustion, but I have to see this out. He just let Giovanni get away, and if anything, it’s something they’ve prepared for. This showdown was never going to end with another Abbiati lost to the world; he was only ever meant to be lost from our brood.
“You just made your choice more than obvious,” I comment dryly, shaking my head in disapproval. “He will always be the one you save first. You lost one son, but won’t lose him; the one who did the dirty and killed his own. You’d still willingly save him.” The disappointment that crashes upon me is immobilizing, but I am so full of wild rage, anguish, and woefulness that I cannot keep myself from lashing out. “He killed your son and you barely laid the law down. After all the abusive shit you’ve put us through for minor errors? He ups and kills his own brother and you all but give him a slap on the wrist. How can you let him go free like that?”