“I had to raid Jason’s closet.” Looking at the stains on Beth’s shirt, he added, “You might want to look through Claire’s.”
“I will if I ever get Chrissy’s clothes on. It’s like trying to dress a wild animal.”
Nick walked over and tickled Chrissy on the stomach, sending her off into a fit of giggles. “Here, you hold her up and I’ll slip her legs in.” Finally, with a little teamwork they had her dressed. Beth was exhausted and ready to collapse.
“Princess, go ahead and take a shower, you kinda smell. I’ll rock the baby for a while.”
Hesitating, she asked, “Are you sure you’re okay alone with her?” He is better at this than I am. I should make a break for it before he changes his mind.
“We’ll be fine. Don’t take too long, though.” Needing no further encouragement, she rummaged through Claire’s drawers until she found a pair of jogging shorts and a matching top. She made quick work of the shower even though she was tempted to hide out in the bathroom for a while longer.
When she walked back into the baby’s room, Nick was lying on the floor and Chrissy was sprawled on his chest. Oh, dear God, he is doing baby talk to her. She stood in the doorway watching her big and oh-so-sexy man say, “She’s a good wittle girl, yesss, she is” and “Wonder what Wikipedia has to say about the word wittle?”
Nick finally noticed Beth standing at the door and, instead of being embarrassed, he beckoned her to join them. Beth sat on the floor and laughed as he flew Chrissy like an airplane.
“Are you sure you’ve never been around a baby? Because you’re a natural.”
“Nope, but it’s not so hard, right?” They both sniffed at the same time. “Hey, babe, do you smell something?” He was giving her a suspicious look.
“Hey! Don’t look at me,” she said indignantly.
“Well, it’s not me.” They turned their eyes to Chrissy in horror. “Oh, please, no,” Nick whispered. “Check her, princess.”
“Why me?” she snapped.
“I don’t know, you’re a woman, you know how to handle this crap. No pun intended.”
“Just take her to the changing table and let’s see what we’re dealing with. It probably smells much worse than it actually is.”
“Well, I hope so because it smells like death,” he said, gagging.
Beth grabbed his arm as he tried to drop and run. “Oh, no, big guy, we’re in this together. Grab a diaper and be ready.”
“Should we put on gloves or something?” he asked.
“I . . . I don’t know, do you see any?” Nick rummaged around, but came up empty-handed. “Just forget it, and let’s get this over with before I’m sick.” She quickly slid Chrissy’s pants off and almost passed out at the sight that greeted her. The diaper looked huge and there was a distinct green outline around the leg openings.
“Damn! Is that normal? Nick gagged again. “What are they feeding the kid?”
“Just shut up and hand me some wipes. I’ll open the diaper and you pull it out from under her on the count of three.”
“Are you out of your mind? I am not pulling that thing. I’ll open it and you pull the sucker.”
She moved out of the way muttering, “Big baby.”
Nick leaned away as far as he could before reaching for the tape on each side of the diaper. “Are you ready?” he asked.
“I guess. Just do it.”
He pulled the tape and opened the diaper. She felt her stomach drop to her feet. “Oh, dear God. I can’t Nick, I’ll be sick if I touch that thing.”
“Princess, if I have to pull the diaper out, then you’re on butt duty.”
“O-okay, I’ll just put a lot of wipes over it. Go ahead and pull.” As Nick removed the diaper and held it out like a bomb, she grabbed a wad of wipes and covered Chrissy’s bottom.
“Beth, what do I do with this?” Nick asked frantically.
“Hey, I’ve got my own problems here.” Nick circled the room looking more and more desperate for somewhere to dispose of the diaper. All of the bedrooms on the bottom level walked out onto the patio. When he walked over and wrenched the door open, she could only gape at him when he tossed the diaper over the railing. “Nick! You can’t do that!”
“What? You told me to figure it out, well I did.”
“But . . . you can’t throw poop on the beach. You probably just broke at least ten laws. You’ve got to go get it.” She turned her focus back to Chrissy’s rump and was glad to see that it was almost clean. The stack of used wipes beside her was starting to resemble a landfill. Nick had washed his hands so she had him come over and hold the baby on the table while she washed up.
It again took a team effort to get Chrissy dressed. Beth picked the baby up off the table and said, “You’ve got to go get the diaper. Take a trash bag and put it inside.”