Chapter Seventeen
Mom’s wedding day dawned sunny and clear. I was eternally grateful since she was barely clinging to the last shreds of her sanity. With all the crazy chaos of planning a wedding coupled with pregnancy hormones, she had turned into a weepy Bridezilla. Greg and I both did our best to step lightly around her—afraid that anything we said or do might set her off into Defcon mode or something.
The wedding was set for two o’clock at The First Baptist church. Then Mom and Greg were going to take a short four day Honeymoon to Bermuda. It was all the time they could spare, especially with the baby arriving in a few months.
I rolled over and squinted at the clock. It was after ten. “Shit,” I muttered, as I hopped up out of bed.
It had been a late night with the rehearsal and then the dinner. We hadn’t stumbled in the house until after midnight. Plus, I was partially hung-over after sneaking most of the leftover wine at the table.
Mom and several of her friends and sister-in-laws bustled around downstairs. It reminded me of that scene in My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Yeah, it wasn’t my usual viewing choice, but Mom had forced me to watch.
“Noah!” she called over the chatter. “We’re just about to leave for the salon. You need to be at the church by noon for pictures, okay?”
“All right.”
“Greg’s got your tux at the church.”
“Okay, Mom.”
The group made a noisy exit.
“Geez.”
I fixed myself some cereal and sat alone at the kitchen table like a prisoner on Death Row eating his last meal. After two o’clock, everything was going to change. There would be no more “Mom and Me”. Part of her would belong to Greg, and in four months, a part of her would belong to my new sister, which in the long run wasn’t all that bad. I mean, I’d have more of a family now, especially since Joe and I were mending fences with our father/son relationship. Losing Jake and spending time with Maddie had started opening up doors I hadn’t quite imagined.
Although part of me was still bitter, I was getting along really well with Greg. He wasn’t entirely the douchebag I thought he was. Most of the time, it was funny as hell watching him try to decide whether to treat me like a son or a buddy. I think he was even more nervous about me than I was about him. Of course, we wouldn’t have too long together. I’d be leaving for college in August, and Mom and Greg would be moving to a new house. They said they wanted a fresh start. I guess I could see their point. But in a lot of ways, it was going to make me feel even more like a stranger when I came home on weekends to an unfamiliar house.
And once again, there would be no escaping to Jake’s. Just thinking of him caused the familiar ache to burn its way through my chest. It was hard imagining the summer without him, least of all my entire future.
Damn, why did everything have to change? I mean, once you got used to something, it had to change. People came into your life, and then they left it. It seemed so pointless.
I didn’t have much time to piss and moan since time was ticking. I rushed upstairs and caught a quick shower. Then I threw on some old clothes and headed to the church. I found Greg and some of the other groomsmen getting ready. Mom and Greg’s wedding party resembled something out of an extras scene for a major movie! There were ten groomsmen and ten bridesmaids.
After we took some preliminary pictures, the guests started arriving. I pulled duty escorting people to their seats. As I was standing in the church foyer with some of the other ushers and groomsmen, Grammy strode up to me. “Don’t you look handsome, Noah!”
“Thanks.” In truth, I knew Grammy preferred my tuxedoed self far more than my usual scruffy look.
“Oh, your mama wants to see you.”
“Okay.”
I headed back to the room where Mom was getting ready. I rapped lightly on the door. “Mom?” I questioned, poking my head in the door. “We’re about ready to start.”
“I know. Come on in, sweetheart.”
She was standing before a huge three sided mirror. When she turned around, I sucked in a harsh breath as a wave of emotions crashed over me. “Wow!”
I’d never seen her so beautiful in all my life. Her dress was this strapless thing with lots of shiny beady stuff on the top part with a smooth, satin bottom, and it had a long train. I knew it was the dress she’d always dreamed of. Her long hair was swept back, and a glittering tiara sat on top of her head.
Mom smiled. “So, do I look okay?”
“You look more than okay,” I replied, as I walked up to her. I kissed her on the cheek, trying not to smudge her makeup. “You look breathtakingly beautiful.”
Tears shone in her eyes. “Thank you, sweetie. From you, that means the world.”
“It’s the truth. You’re gonna knock Greg’s socks off.” After I said it, I cringed inwardly. I really didn’t want to think about anything like that—I’d already seen enough of their sex life.
Mom stared at her reflection. “I feel so bloated.”
I shook my head as her barely visible baby bump was carefully concealed under the fabric of her dress. “Quit fishing for compliments,” I joked.
She laughed. “All right.”
Grammy poked her head in. “Just a few more minutes.”
As soon as she left, Mom turned to me. “Noah, I want to talk to you.”
“Um, okay, but didn’t you hear Grammy?”
“Yes, I did, but I want to say something to you.”
“Okay.”
Mom drew in a deep breath, and I got the impression I was about to hear something deeply profound. I shifted nervously on feet, silently praying she wouldn’t start crying. Grammy would kill me if Mom came out looking like an alcoholic raccoon with a red nose and her mascara running down her cheeks.
“Noah, I know that things are about to change, and our lives will never be the same. For almost eighteen years it’s been just you and me.”
“Yeah, it has.”
When Mom took my hand in hers, I braced myself. She was about to lay some serious shit on me. “I just want you to know that I’ve thanked God every day for giving me you. Even though you weren’t planned and the situation was hard, I wouldn’t trade any of it for a second. You’ve been the greatest accomplishment of my life.”
Holy shit. I stared at her in disbelief. The woman was a doctor for Christ sake, and she was telling me I was her ‘greatest accomplishment’. It was almost too much. I started to feel like I was under the surface of the water again as my lungs constricted in panic. Frantically, I took a few deep breaths to calm myself.
“Wow…I, uh, don’t know what to say,” I mumbled.
She smiled. “You don’t have to say anything—I just wanted you to know that. I’m sure things are going to get crazy when the baby comes and you at college, so I might not have another opportunity.”
Grammy rapped on the door. I squeezed Mom’s hand and drew in a ragged breath. “Yeah, well, I’m the one who outta be saying the thanks and stuff. You know, thanks that God gave me such an awesome mother.”
Tears sparkled in Mom’s blue eyes. “Noah, that’s so sweet!” she cried.
I groaned. “Stop, you can’t cry now! Grammy will kill me!”
She laughed and gently dabbed her eyes. “Okay, okay, I’ll turn the waterworks off.”
Grammy didn’t bother knocking again. Instead, she threw the door open. With a broad grin and in her twangy drawl, she exclaimed, “It’s time, sugah!”
Mom and I both inhaled deeply. When we got to the doorway, I gave her my arm. “Ready?” I asked.
“As I’ll ever be,” she murmured. But the moment the doors opened and she saw Greg standing before her, her mouth widened into a radiating smile. And as much as I hated to admit it, the look on Greg’s face was one of absolute adoration. And that’s the only way I would have had it. She’d been through shit, and so had he. Mom told me about how the only girl he’d ever loved had gotten killed just before their wedding. When he started dating Mom, she was the first real relationship he’d had in years.
Walking your mother down the aisle to get married—it’s a really surreal feeling. When we reached the altar, I didn’t hesitate when Pastor Dan asked who gave Mom in marriage. I very proudly bellowed, “I do.”
It was a really nice service, and I guess I should give Gerard his due. Of course, if he had even tried laying one finger on me, I would have gone apeshit on him. Thankfully, he stayed the hell away from me, scurrying around to ensure everything was perfect for Mom.
Then after we took a million pictures in a million different poses, we started for the reception. Greg had rented a limo, and the bridal party rode in it to the country club. A tent lit by thousands of twinkling lights and candles sat on the golf course. Music billowed up the hillside from under the tent flaps, signaling the band was already in full swing when we arrived. Elegant tables set with fine china and crystal filled the tent, and at the far side was a wooden dance floor.
I craned my neck, searching for Maddie. I finally saw her sitting at table with her parents. For a moment, I was rooted to the floor. She seriously took my breath away with how beautiful she looked in her deep blue dress. It was pretty daring for her with its tiny straps, plunging neckline, and rather short hemline. Its sequins caught the candlelight and shimmered. Her dark hair was swept away from her face in a twist with little, curly pieces hanging down. I wanted nothing more than to jerk out the pins holding her hair up so I could run my fingers through the silky strands.
Trying to ignore the lovesick thoughts rolling through my head along with the ones steaming below my waist, I pushed myself forward and made my way over to her. “Hey,” I said as I strolled up to the table.
She grinned. “Hi.” Her gaze roamed over me, and she bobbed her head. “Wow, you look so nice.”
I ran my hand down my tux lapel. “Thanks. I do clean up well, don’t I?”
The Parkers and Maddie laughed as Gerard sashayed over to me. “Noah darling, it’s time for you to sing.”
For their first dance as man and wife, Mom wanted me to perform one of her favorite songs. It was cheesy as hell if you asked me—not me singing, but the song choice itself. It was from the movie What a Girl Wants, which my mom adored for some reason. Before Greg, I think she liked the fantasy of a long absent father coming back to his daughter and in turn reigniting the romance with the girl’s mother. In the end, Mom loved the song Long Time Coming, and she always liked to tease me that I sounded just like Oliver James who sang the song in the movie. I wasn’t too surprised when she asked me to sing it because when I really thought about it, the lyrics really did sound a lot like the shit she had been through and now the love she had found.
I nodded. “I’ll be right there.”
She arched her eyebrows teasingly at me about Gerard. “You better hurry, Noah darling.”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh give me a break.”
She giggled. “I might just have to start calling you that.”
Leaning in closer to her, I challenged, “And I just might have to hurt you.”
“We’ll just see about that,” she replied with a wicked grin.
“I’ll come back when I’m done, okay?”
Maddie nodded. “Go and wow us.”
I headed over to the stage. Behind one of the giant amps was my guitar—a Fender Stratocaster. I pulled it out of the case and strummed a few chords to warm up. I plugged the amp in and then strode to the microphone. Tapping it a couple of times, I interrupted the buzz of conversation and clinking of silverware.
“Good evening. As the son of the bride, I’d like you all to join me in welcoming the happy couple, Greg and Maggie Anderson to the floor for their first dance.”
The room erupted in applause. Greg took Mom by the hand and led her to the middle of the floor. As I started the first chords, he drew her into his arms, and she beamed.
It was a surreal experience having an entire band playing with me, especially back-up singers. Once I finished, the crowd demanded an encore, which made me grin so hard my face hurt. So I kept singing. From Granddaddy’s instructions, I was able to play rockier versions of classics like Sinatra’s The Way You Look Tonight along with Etta James’s At Last. I kept it up while people finished their dinners, and then as Mom and Greg cut the wedding cake. They teasingly fed bites of sugary sweetness to each other before gleefully smashing each other’s faces full of icing. As they laughed in each other’s arms, I once again felt the familiar tightening in my chest. Focusing on the lyrics I sang, I pushed the unhappy thoughts from my mind. Instead, I was truly grateful that Mom had found love and happiness.
When I finally finished singing, everyone applauded and whistled again. I grinned. “Thank you. Now I’m going to turn it back over to the real band.”
After depositing my guitar, I hopped off the stage and weaved my way through the dancing couples. When I finally made it back over to Maddie’s table, it was empty. I whirled around and frantically searched the crowd. My heart stopped with every second I didn’t see her.
A hand tapped me on the shoulder. “Looking for me?”
When I spun around, Maddie grinned at me. I could barely disguise the whooshing breath of relief I exhaled at the sight of her. I licked my lips to dry and wet where my mouth had gone dry. “Yeah, I was. I thought you’d bailed.”
Quirking her eyebrows at me, she said, “That’d be pretty sad having your date bail on you at your mother’s wedding.”
I laughed. “Yeah, it would be pretty pathetic.”
Maddie smiled. “Mom and Dad had to go to check on Josh. You’ll give me a ride home, right?”
“Of course.” I glanced out at the dance floor. “Hey, you wanna dance?”
“Um, I’m not that good at it,” Maddie answered.
“That’s true. I have seen you attempt it before.”
She playfully swatted me on the arm. “Whatever.”
“Come on then,” I urged, taking her hand in mine.
We edged our way between the couples to find a place under the sparkling lights. As I pulled her to me, she wrapped her arms around my neck while my arms crisscrossed her waist. Suddenly, conversation seemed to escape me. I couldn’t help focusing on the way her ample curves fit so deliciously against me, making my dick twitch in my pants. Her Noa perfume made my head spin as well. To get my thoughts off of how much I wanted her, I just blurted one of the first questions that popped into my head.
“So who did you go to prom with?”
Maddie peered up at me in surprise. “I didn’t go.”
“You didn’t? Not even for senior prom?”
She shook her head. “I went to Homecoming with Percy from church.”
I grimaced remembering that Percy was the glasses dude that Jake bummed homework off of. He had struck gold that a girl as hot as Maddie went with him. “But why didn’t you go to prom?” I pressed.
“Nobody asked me,” she said, softly.
That was f*cking mind-blowing. How someone as beautiful, kind, and cool as she was could be dateless was beyond me. Then thoughts of Jake’s feeling for Maddie crept into my mind, and white hot anger coursed through me. Of course, he hadn’t asked her. It would have been too embarrassing for him to explain why he was taking a choir girl priss. Instead, he’d gone to Prom with the most beneficial choice for his reputation and his dick—Presley. What an incredible douche bag! Any painful feelings of loss escaped me in that moment, and if Jake hadn’t been dead, I would’ve wanted to kill him myself for being such a prick.
At the flush creeping on Maddie’s cheeks, I realized I must’ve embarrassed her. “Maddie, I can’t believe no one asked you. There’s too many jerks out there who don’t know what an awesome girl you are.”
She stared in shock at me for a minute before she finally smiled shyly. “Thanks Noah.”
“You’re welcome.”
We swayed in silence for a few minutes. When I glanced down at her, Maddie was biting her lip like she wanted to say something. Finally, she drew a ragged breath. “There was somebody I really wanted to go with, but he didn’t ask me.”
“Who?” I questioned, my heartbeat accelerating in my chest.
“No, it’s silly.”
“Tell me.”
Her dark eyes stared into mine. “Jake,” she whispered.
My heart shuddered to a stop before restarting. I fought to catch my breath as the voice of reason echoed through my mind. Tell her, Noah. Tell her about the ring and the song lyrics. But I couldn’t—my mouth felt cemented together.
A nervous laugh escaped Maddie’s lips. “Yeah, it’s stupid, I know. I mean, we were just good friends and all. Plus, I wouldn’t have been too much fun at the after prom parties.”
Dammit, you coward! Tell her! the voice screamed in my mind. I drew in a ragged breath. There was no turning back now. I had to tell her the truth. “Maddie, there’s something I need to tell you—”
“All right all you single ladies, move to the center of the floor. Maggie’s gonna throw the bouquet!” the DJ’s booming voice echoed over the sound system.
“Come on, Maddie. Let’s go try for it!” my cousin, Isabella, shouted, grabbing Maddie by the elbow and dragging her away.
I rolled my eyes up toward the glittering lights. Dammit! Just when I was about to come clean, a freakin’ bouquet toss stops me.
With all my mom’s family and friends, there were quite a few single ladies itching to grab a symbolic nod towards matrimony. The band leader gave a drum roll as Mom turned around. Then on the count of three, she hoisted the large bouquet over her shoulder.
Total chaos ensued as there was a mad dash. Snatching and grabbing women even knocked two of my cousins to the floor. With them down, the bouquet sailed easily into Maddie’s open arms.
Even though we weren’t officially together, I couldn’t help muttering, “Oh shit!” under my breath.
Alex glanced over at me and laughed. “You’re in for it now, cuz!” he joked. Although I hadn’t said a word about how I felt about Maddie, I knew he could see right through me. But at the same time there was something else I wasn’t telling him and that was about Jake and Maddie. He’d probably think I was a giant tool for not coming clean with her.
My thoughts were interrupted when a chair was brought to the center of the dance floor. Mom sat down as Greg knelt down before her. With a sly grin, he dipped his head halfway under her billowing dress and slipped her garter off with his teeth. All his friends, my uncles, and male cousins hooted and hollered. I, on the other hand, threw up a little in my mouth. Greg took it from his teeth and swung it triumphantly above his head before tossing it into the eager crowd.
Even though I was a single guy, I sure as hell wasn’t going to mow out people to win my mother’s garter. It was way too creepy. Thankfully, Greg’s best man ended up getting it. He twirled it around his finger, winked at Greg, and then drunkenly leered at Maddie. I dragged her away before he could insist on dancing with her as was sometimes customary.
After the bouquet and garter toss, Mom and Greg left to get changed. Once they finished, they would be leaving on their honeymoon. While we waited on their grand exit, Maddie and I ate some cake. As the sugar rush danced over my body, I glanced across the table to find Maddie staring dreamily in the space. “Hey,” I murmured.
“Hmm?” she asked.
“Are you okay?”
She nodded. “Oh, I was just thinking how romantic the wedding was and how wonderful it is your mom found such a great guy after being alone for so long.”
“Yeah, it was nice.”
“I sure hope I don’t have to wait until I’m in my thirties to get married. I think twenty-five is a good age, don’t you?”
Frankly, I’d never given it much thought. I’d certainly never considered a “perfect” marrying age or anything. “I guess.”
Maddie raised her eyebrows. “Don’t you want to get married?”
“Sure, I do. I just haven’t given much thought to when.”
I thought about Jake and the ring. Eighteen was a long shot away from her model twenty-five. I still couldn’t fathom in my wildest thoughts the idea of Jake’s settling down—least of all at eighteen or nineteen. Maybe he had intended a long engagement. Or maybe it was like Jason had suggested—Jake had just bought the ring with the hopes of bagging her and then bailing. But the more I’d learned about the real Jake, the less I thought his motives behind the ring were insincere.
Thinking of him proposing, I asked, “What if you weren’t twenty-five? What if you were younger?”
Maddie shrugged. “As long as I was in love, it wouldn’t matter how old I was. Sure, I’d like to finish college and all, but when the right guy comes along, it won’t matter if I’m twenty or forty.”
Okay, dipshit, do it. It’s the perfect time to tell her. But once again, I was a selfish bastard and kept my mouth pinched shut. The prime moment once again passed me by. I was then interrupted with Mom and Greg saying their good-byes amidst a flurry of birdseed and bubbles. Mom hugged and kissed me bye. “I’ll call and check in on you every day, sweetheart.”
I laughed. “Mom, I’m seventeen. You don’t have to do that.” When she nibbled on her bottom lip, I said, “Don’t worry about me. You just got have fun with Greg on your honeymoon.” The moment those words left my lips I cringed.
“Okay, I will.”
Greg and I gave each other one of those awkward man handshakes. “Have a good time,” I said.”
“Thanks.” Greg patted my back. “And thanks again for coming around about me—it means so much to Maggie, but it means a hell of a lot to me too.”
My mouth gaped open in surprise. I hadn’t anticipated him saying something like that. “Sure man. I’m glad too,” I finally replied.
After Greg and Mom left, the reception wound down, and it was time to go. My conscience weighed heavy on me that I hadn’t come clean about Jake to Maddie. Even when I was alone with her on the way home, I still didn’t tell her. I mean, hell, it should have been a f*cking cake walk. I should’ve been able to turn to her and say, “Maddie, Jake was in love with you. So much so he wanted to marry you, and here’s a ring. Have a nice life.” I don’t know what it was that made it impossible.
Maybe it was the sweet smell of her perfume that drove me wild with longing. Or maybe it was way our hands brushed against each other sometimes when I shifted gears. Or maybe it was how much I enjoyed having her with me—just the two of us like we were meant to be together.
So I just couldn’t find the words. And I began to wonder if I ever would.
***