Don't Hate the Player...Hate the Game

Chapter Thirteen

There was quite a crowd for a Wednesday night. Maddie led me up the aisle to a bench full of teenage girls—and one or two Bible toting guys. It had never crossed my mind about Maddie having friends. I mean, our sole connection was Jake, and besides him, we ran in very different circles. But once we got in the church, I saw she was the Queen Bee of the Godly Circuit. Her friends all sized me up. Some of them I recognized from school. I could help noticing that a few gave me disapproving looks like I was Big Bad Wolf leading Maddie astray.

“Hi guys, this is Noah,” Maddie introduced.

“Hi Noah,” they said together before the younger ones dissolved in giggles.

“Hey,” I replied giving a lame wave. Maddie urged me to take a seat. Thankfully, it was next to one of the guys. When he glanced over at me, he stiffened and readjusted his glasses on his nose. Suddenly, I remembered he was one of the kids Jake used to pick on to get homework out of. I wanted to hold up my hands and say, “I come in peace.”

Instead, I flashed my most convincing grin and said, “Hey man, how’s it going?”

“Fine,” he squeaked. He turned his head and began talking to the girl beside him, and I didn’t blame him one bit. Now that I was on his turf, it was my turn to shift nervously in my seat. Thankfully, my slight heart palpitations eased when Maddie sat down beside me. Her delicious perfume filled my nostrils, and I sighed with contentment.

A wiry looking man with glasses stood up and motioned for Maddie’s mom. She came up from her place on the front row to play the piano.

“Let’s look to page seventy-two,” the man’s voice boomed. The members of the choir rose from their benches behind the pulpit. Pastor Dan came out in his robe, and once again, I felt like cuing the Seventh Heaven music.

Maddie handed me a song book out of the holder from the bench in front of us.

I shook my head. “Uh-I don’t think I-”

“I think you can,” she replied with a smile.

Reluctantly, I flipped to page seventy-two. When I saw the title of the song, it was like every molecule in my body shuddered to a stop. It was my Granddaddy’s favorite song. He used to sing it all the time. In church. Out fishing. Mowing the lawn. I closed my eyes as the deep timber of his voice echoed through my mind. He put his heart and soul to every line, giving inflection on the parts that meant something to him. Although he loved Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Perry Como, he never sang them like he did this song.

Mrs. Parker struck the first few chords, and the congregation raised their voices in song. It felt like my lips were cemented together with Crazy Glue or something. I couldn’t for the life of me sing. Hell, I could barely breathe. I felt like I was in a tripped out flashback. All I could think about was my granddaddy.

Since I’d never known my real father, Granddaddy was the only father I’d ever had. When he died two years ago, it shattered me. I know he loved all his grandkids, but he made me feel like I was the most special. Maybe he felt sorry for me because I didn’t have a dad, or maybe it was because I was “his Maggie’s” little boy.

Whatever it was, it was the most f*cking special thing I’ve ever experienced on this earth.

Granddaddy was the one who bought me my first guitar and taught me how to play. I practically pissed my pants with excitement when I moved from sitting next to him, eyes wide with wonderment as his fingers strummed the chords, to balancing on his lap with the guitar in front of me. I never felt happier or safer nestled his strong arms while his calloused fingertips directed my tiny ones along the frets. Damn, the patience that man must have had. Needless to say Grammy didn’t, because after a few days of lessons, she banished us outside to the porch.

Granddaddy never lost his smile as he listened to me work the chords into a melody. “You’ve got God given talent, son. Don’t you ever forget that,” he’d say before spitting a wad of tobacco into his cup.

With a shrug, I’d protest, “But I’m not good at sports, Granddaddy.” After all, each and every one of his sons and grandsons were involved in some sport. For years, he practically lived at either the baseball diamond, the football stadium, the basketball gym.

Granddaddy’s worn and wrinkled hand would come to stroke his weathered chin thoughtfully. “Being athletic is a good talent to have, son, but one day it is of no use to you. My boys shone as bright stars once upon a time, but now all that has dimmed. It served them well with scholarships, but not a one is still using their talents. But music…” His face would break into a wide grin. “Music is timeless. I’ve played all the days of my life, and I’ll play until my dying day.”

My conversations with Granddaddy always felt kinda like Forest Gump and his mama. He always had a way of explaining things to me to where I could not only understand, but I could also get the bigger meaning out of. He could make me feel ten feet tall with just a look.

I’d just started tenth grade when he started acting funny. He’d forget things, or he’d make all the wall statements. Mom and Grammy got worried that he might have the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s Disease. So, they finally convinced him to go to the doctor.

But he didn’t have Alzheimer’s. Instead, a MRI revealed he had a brain tumor. Something called Glioblastoma. A real badass tumor that’s like a spider. It has a fat body that surgery can remove, but it’s the spider-like legs that get imbedded in your brain and f*ck up your life.

Granddaddy’s diagnosis was one of those life-altering moments when you’re sure the earth skidded to a stop on its axis. It would have to, wouldn’t it? How was it possible for the world to keep right on turning when my Granddaddy was going to die?

Yet somehow it did. Within my family, it was a hellish blur of agony. Grammy brought Granddaddy home, and Mom and her siblings rallied around to take care of him. They moved a hospital bed into the living room, so there’d be more room for him to be surrounded by his family. My uncles took turns staying nights. They didn’t want to leave Grammy or my mom by themselves.

One night, I stayed up with him. It was close to the end, and he’d been sleeping most of the time. I was trying to read a book for my literature class when he opened his eyes and glanced over at me. “Noah,” he whispered.

“What’s wrong, Granddaddy? You need something?”

He shook his head. With a weak flick of his wrist, he beckoned me closer. “Want to tell you somethin’.” His voice was gravely and weak as if it took everything in him to speak. I leaned forward as far as I could on my chair beside the bed. My elbows pressed into the metal railings of his hospital bed.

“I’m right here, Granddaddy.”

He smiled. “You know, I was so angry when your mama got pregnant. I didn’t want her to keep you. I wanted her to give you to a family who could provide for you better than she could.”

I gasped as his words stung me. I couldn’t imagine these were the final thoughts he wanted to tell me.

He gave a little rattle of a laugh. “I ain’t finished, son.”

I gave him a relieved smile. “Oh, okay.”

“But the minute you were born, your mama called for me. I went into that room still bound and determined for her to give you up. But there she was holding you to her chest, and the love she had for you was written all over her face. She handed you to me, and I took you in my arms…” Tears welled in Granddaddy’s dark eyes. “And it was instant love. The same love I’d had for my boys and for your mama. I knew right then and there you were meant to be with your mama and with our family.”

Although I tried fighting them, tears pooled in my eyes and spilled over my cheeks. Damn them! I didn’t want his last sight of me to be that of a blubbering pansy.

As if he could read my mind, Granddaddy shook his head. “Don’t be ashamed of your emotions, Noah. Experience them and embrace them. They’re what make us alive and strong.”

I nodded. “I’ll try.”

“There’s something I want you to have, and I’ve told all the boys.”

“What is it, Granddaddy?” My mind whirled with possibilities. He wanted me to have his rifle with the silver casing, or the pinky ring his mother had given him. I was off by a long shot.

“It’s the Sullivan family Bible.” The look on my face betrayed me again because Granddaddy chuckled. “Thought I had a treasure for you, huh?”

“Maybe.”

He grinned. “It is a treasure, Noah. It came all the way over from Ireland with my father. It’s been passed down through many generations. It’s supposed to be given to the first son of every family, but I want you to have it.”

“But why me Granddaddy?”

“Because you need it. Mark is already the strong head of his family. But you’re missing part of yourself because of your father. This Bible will show you that no matter what happens with him, you’re whole. When you’ve got family who love you and care about you like our family, Noah, you’re a rich man.”

“Then I’ll take it.”

He smiled. “Good. And one day years from now, you’ll turn to the words themselves for answers, and when you do, you’ll find more treasure there within its pages.”

“We’ll see,” I said.

“Give me a hug, Noah.”

I leaned over the bed and gathered up his withered form as best I could. I kissed his cheek weathered with age. “I love you, Granddaddy,” I murmured in his ear.

“I love you, too, Noah.”

He died the next morning. I cried for two days straight. But when I got to the funeral, I was as stoic as a soldier, even when Alex and my other cousins wailed and boohooed all around me. Of course, I’d been shadowed the whole time. Someone never left my side. We even slept side by side in my bed for the first time since grade school.

That person was Jake.

I questioned him why he would want to give up his Friday and Saturday nights to sit at home with me while we took care of Granddaddy. “Dude, that man,” he said, gesturing towards the living room where Granddaddy lay in his hospital bed, “has treated me like I was one of his family since I was five years old. Hell, sometimes he’s treated me better than my own father. I love him just as much as I do my PawPaw.”

His words had touched me. But it was his actions that were truly heroic. One night, Granddaddy started having seizures, and we had to stay up round the clock to give him medicine under his tongue. Mom and Grammy were worn out by 2:00am, so Jake and I stayed up. Every hour we got up from the couch we shared to give Granddaddy his medicine.

But now Jake was gone, and the pain was overwhelming. It tore through my chest and into my throat. A suffocating pain like a giant’s hands were squeezing and constricting my lungs. I was ten and under the surface of the water again, and this time there was no Jake to save me. I was going to drown sitting right there on the bench. I had to get out of there—I could no longer breathe or keep this inside me.

Without a word to anyone, I bolted up from my seat. “Noah?” Maddie asked before I scrambled over her. Even though I wanted to haul ass, I knew I would draw attention to myself if I ran out of the church, so I did my best speed walking down the aisle.

Bursting through the double doors, I sprinted off the steps and started weaving through the cars in the parking lot. At the edge of the property was an old brush arbor where the church had sometimes met. Old wooden benches were laid out under a wooden awning.

I collapsed onto one of them. I clamped my hand over my mouth to stop the sobs, but they wouldn’t be contained. They spilled through my fingers and filled the air around me. It was like a dam had collapsed in my mind, and thoughts and emotions coursed through me.

Suck it up! Be a man!

It was instant love…..I love you, Noah.

Don’t let the emotions out. Keep them buried.

Hey man, don’t make me duct tape you again. You know, I’m here for you no matter what. We’re best buds, remember?

No one wants to see the real you. Keep it hidden. They won’t love you if they see the real you.

Suddenly, someone gently touched my shoulder. I jerked away, but the hand found me again. “Noah, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” Maddie whispered into my ear.

Instead of the comfort I should have felt, mortification flooded through me so hard I shuddered. No. No. No! She hadn’t seen me like this. This was a f*cking nightmare. As much as I hated admitting it to myself, I’d felt a flicker of something for her—something I didn’t know what the hell was, and I hoped she was feeling something too. But how could she now after seeing me a blubbering pansy?

Finally, I dared myself to look up at her. Tears streamed down her cheeks. There was such acceptance and understanding of me along with my pain in her eyes that I didn’t want to run away. Instead, I reach out to grab her hips, pulling her to me. Without hesitation, I buried my head in her waist. She cradled my head in her arms, running her fingers through hair.

I didn’t run away from my emotions. I let them envelop me. I wept openly and without shame, and for the first time in a long time, I felt safe.

When I finally finished, I wiped my eyes on the back of my hand. Maddie eased down beside me on the bench. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about spazzing out like that.”

“Oh Noah, you don’t have to apologize. You’ve just lost your best friend. It’s totally understandable,” Maddie argued.

“It’s not just about Jake…”

Her dark brows rose in surprise. “Oh?”

I nodded. “My grandfather was the only dad I’ve ever known. He passed away two years ago. That was his favorite song you guys were singing,” I explained.

Reaching over, Maddie took her hand in mine. “I’m so sorry.”

“Thank,” I murmured. Feeling revived, I squeezed her hand. The smile she gave me warmed my heart. We sat in silence for a few minutes before Maddie hopped up. When I glanced up at her, she grinned wickedly at me. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

My eyebrows jerked up in surprise. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“Yeah, but what about your parents?”

She shrugged. “They’ll understand.”

With a force that surprised me, she grabbed me by the hand and dragged me off the bench. I led her over to my Jeep, and within a few seconds, we were pealing out of the church parking lot like runaway sinners. “So what exactly did you have in mind for our mad escape?” I asked.

Maddie cut her eyes over at me. “I wanted to do something that would get your mind off things. So what’s something you usually do when you’re upset?”

“Get drunk.”

I expected her to gasp and immediately start praying for me. But she only raised her eyebrows. “Is that right?”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm,” she murmured. She gazed out the window and then pointed. “Pull in there.”

It was Baskin Robbins. I whipped it into a parking space and turned to look at her.

Maddie motioned to the building. “Well, you have your way of coping, but this is what I do when I get upset.”

I couldn’t help but grin back at her. “Wow, I don’t if I should get involved in hard stuff like ice cream.”

“Whatever,” she murmured as she hopped out of the jeep.

I followed her up the walkway to the store and held open the door for her. Sugary sweet aromas filled my nose as we strolled up to the counter.

“So what are you getting?” Maddie asked, as we peered up at the menu.

“Probably a chocolate cone.”

Elbowing me playfully, Maddie asked, “Just a cone? Where’s your sense of adventure?”

I grinned. “Like I said. I don’t want to go all hardcore—I hear it’s easy to get addicted. I wanna say outta Ice Cream Rehab if you don’t mind!”

Maddie giggled. “I guess you’re right. Better stay on the safe side with your itty, bitty cone,” she teased.

“Hey now,” I countered as the guy cleared his throat to take our orders. I motioned for Maddie to go first. “I’ll have a build your own sundae with vanilla, chocolate chip, and strawberry ice cream with hot fudge, wet nuts, sprinkles, and whipped cream.”

“Good lord, you’re really going to eat that?” I asked.

“Mmmmm, hmmm,” she answered.

“I’ll be surprised if you don’t go into a sugar-induced coma first.”

“I just might.” She then nudged me. “Wanna try it with me?”

I shot her a skeptical look. “Are you kidding?”

“Nope.”

“All right.”

“Great!” she exclaimed. “Will you give us two spoons please?”

The cashier nodded. Before Maddie could reach into her purse, I thrust a five into the cashier’s hand.

Maddie shook her head maniacally back and forth. “No, Noah, I meant to treat you,” she protested.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“But-”

Maddie continued to argue, but I interrupted her. “It’s a treat just being with you,” I quipped.

“Whatever,” she laughed.

Her laugh, coupled with her expression, sent warmth tingling over me. I don’t know what it was about laugh that got to me. I’d never given former girlfriends laughter much thought. Of course, no girl seemed as amused or entertained by me as Maddie did.

I took our massive sundae over to a table while Maddie got us napkins. I’d barely gotten my spoon raised when she was already devouring her side.

“Hey now, you gotta pace yourself!” I cried.

She grinned sheepishly. “I know. I’m just hungry that’s all.”

“Oh, I interrupted your dinner, right?”

“No, you didn’t,” she said. I could tell she was lying by the way she ducked her head and refused to meet my gaze.

I smiled. “You should have said something. I would’ve taken you to get something to eat.”

“I’m fine.” When I started to protest again, she shook her head. “Wednesday’s dinner is always potluck at the church. It’s nothing exciting, I promise.”

“If you’re sure…I mean, we can still get dinner.”

Maddie gave me a dimpled smile. “We’ll see.”

We enjoyed the sugary goodness in silence for a few seconds. Then Maddie cleared her throat. “So…I was just thinking about what happened earlier and was wondering if wanted to talk about your grandfather?” she tentatively asked.

Once again, she was Miss Pushy with the feelings stuff. I guess I couldn’t blame her. Her dad was a minister, so she was used to problem solving. Even though she had made me feel better earlier, I wasn’t really up for anymore soul searching.

I shook my head. “No, not really.”

She gave a quick bob of her head. “Okay, we don’t have to.”

But I as looked up at her, there was something so accepting in her eyes that I suddenly found myself talking. Seriously, it was like I was purging myself of word vomit. It came spewing out of my mouth, and I couldn’t stop. I told her about him taking me fishing, learning how to play guitar, and even about our last conversation. That’s when I saw the tears glistening in her dark eyes.

“Those are really beautiful memories, Noah,” she said softly.

I shrugged. “Whatever,” I mumbled as we finished off the sundae. “So what about you?”

Maddie raised her eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“What’s your story?”

“I don’t really have a story.”

I snorted exasperatedly. “Sure you do. Everyone has a story.”

“I’m kinda boring, I guess,” Maddie said.

“I doubt that.”

“No, really I am.”

“Then tell me what’s boring about you,” I urged.

Maddie cleared her throat. “Um, well, I’m not like other girls my age, but I’m okay with that.”

“So why aren’t you like other girls?”

She twisted her napkin nervously in her hands. “Well, I don’t party, I don’t drink, and I don’t believe in having sex until you’re in a longstanding, committed relationship or at least engaged.”

Ouch, that last answer literally hit me hard below the belt. “You really don’t?”

She shook her head. “No, but you do, don’t you?”

Her question caught me off guard. “Well, yeah, I mean I have done it if that’s what you’re asking.”

I expected her to blush, but instead, she laughed. “No, that’s not what I was asking, but I thanks for letting me know.”

With a grin, I replied, “Sure.”

Maddie cocked her head at me. “Did you at least love them?”

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. “Not the first girl. But the others, yeah, I guess so. I mean, I was in a relationship with them at the time. I’ve never been a player like Jake.

Maddie’s expression momentarily darkened at the mention of Jake, but she quickly recovered. “I can understand it when you love someone. It’s having sex with a stranger or someone you hardly care about that I can’t imagine. For me,” she emphasized. “I just look at sex like a gift.”

Instantly an R-rated fantasy flickered through my mind that featured her wrapped in nothing but a giant, red bow. After shimmying it off her creamy, white shoulders, her perfect Double D’s would be exposed. I shifted on my feet at the thought of taking them into my hands and my mouth. Then I would bring my fingers to her—

“Noah?”

“Huh?”

Her dark brows furrowed. “I asked if you were okay. You were moaning.”

Oh f*ck. My eyes widened in horror. “Sorry. I was just…um…” Shit, how the hell was I going to get out of this one? “I guess I was just groaning more than anything when I thought about how your beliefs on sex must have seemed to Jake.”

“Well, I can’t say he agreed with me, but he did respect my beliefs,” Maddie replied.

“He did?”

“Yes. He knew we were never going to be friends with benefits or anything like that.”

“I’m sure that bummed him out greatly,” I said, with a grin.

Color flooded her cheeks a little. “I guess so.”

My last statement unsettled both us. Maddie made a desperate to change the subject because she suddenly started gathering up our trash while I couldn’t help but wonder if her reaction had anything to do with Jake’s true feelings and the ring. Once again, I couldn’t help wondering if Maddie was her. That caused a slow burn to radiate through my chest.

Maddie snapped me back to attention when she rose out of her seat. “Come on, let’s go get your mom some flowers.”

“Okay.”

All the florists were closed, so we headed to the Publix across the street. I eyed the colorful bouquets before glancing over at Maddie who was inhaling of the roses. Suddenly, I found myself blurting, “Why do chicks dig flowers so much?”

Maddie grinned. “It’s not just “chicks” who dig them. I mean, you send flowers for all kind of reasons.”

“Fruity reasons,” I said.

“Now that’s not true. The winners at the Kentucky Derby get flowers and the Gold Medal winners get roses at the Olympics,” she protested.

“I guess you’re right.”

“Flowers just say things that words sometimes can’t say.”

A funny feeling rippled through my chest. “Kinda like song lyrics, huh?”

Maddie gave me an odd look. “Yeah, I guess so.” She glanced back at the bouquets. “So which one of these says, ‘Mom, I’m sorry for being a mega-sized, selfish jerk’?”

“Hey, watch it now,” I argued.

She laughed. “Do you want my opinion or not?”

I raised my eyebrows. “Do I have a choice?”

“Probably not.”

“Then let me have it.”

“I’d go with a dozen red roses with baby’s breath—classic, elegant, and very apologetic.”

I eyed the price tag. “Uh, huh, looks like you also go for what straps my wallet the most too!”

Maddie held up her hands. “All right, it’s your decision.” She gave me one last look over her shoulder before she strolled away.

I sighed and rolled my eyes before I snatched up the bouquet of roses and went to pay.

It was after ten when I dropped Maddie off at her house. “Are you sure your parents won’t be mad at you…and me?” I asked.

Maddie shook her head. “I texted them to let them know what was going on. They were worried about you, so they told me to take my time.”

“So, you can’t be alone in the house with a boy, but you can run away from church and stay out half the night?” I asked.

Maddie cocked her head at me. “My parents knew what I was doing out with you.”

Figures, I thought. “They trust you that much?”

She nodded. “And why shouldn’t they?”

“I dunno.”

“I’ve never given them any reason to distrust me. Like I told you earlier, Noah, I’m not like other girls. I don’t sneak out of the house to hook up with random guys, and I don’t go to parties where there are drugs or drinking. I respect my parents and their wishes.”

I held up my hands in mock surrender. “Okay, okay, I get you. You’re a good, church going girl who gets her kicks inhaling ice cream sundaes, not Jello shooters!”

Maddie smiled. “Hmm, once again, I sound totally boring.”

I shook my head. “Trust me, Maddie. You’re anything but boring.”

Her mouth dropped open in surprise. “Really?”

“You’re selling yourself short. Trust me, Jake didn’t spend time with boring girls, and neither do I.”

Maddie blushed. “Thanks, Noah. That means a lot to me.”

“Well, you’re welcome. And thanks for tonight—I really appreciate you listening to me and helping me through all of this,” I said.

She smiled. “You don’t need to thank me. I was happy to do it. And I had a good time, too.”

I returned her smile. “So did I.”

She hopped out of the Jeep. I watched her bounce up the walkway to the front door. She waved at me before heading inside. I then eased out of the driveway and made my way home. My palms were sweaty, and my skin felt clammy when I turned onto my street. I felt like an absolute p-ssy for having such a physical and emotional reaction.

I clutched the bouquet in my hands as I tentatively stepped through the garage door. The house was quiet except I could hear the television on in the living room. When I got to the doorway, I saw Mom asleep on the couch. A quick glance into the dining room showed the uneaten dishes and empty plates. From the looks of it, she’d canceled on Greg after my bitch fit. That made me feel even worse that she’d deprived herself of having time with the man she loved all because she had an a*shole for a son.

I knelt down beside the couch. “Mom,” I said softly.

She stirred, but her eyes stayed closed.

“Mom, it’s me. Please wake up. I need to…I want to apologize.”

Suddenly, her eyes snapped open, and she gazed over at me. There was a guilty look in her eyes that told me she still hated herself for hitting me. It was then replaced by one of relief. She was glad I was home. “Noah,” she said, as she as she pulled herself up on the couch.

She started to say something, but then she saw the flowers in my hand. When she caught my gaze, I smiled. “These are for you.”

“They’re beautiful.”

I drew in a deep breath. It was now or never time. “Mom, I was a real jerk to you earlier. I wish I could take back what I said and did, but I can’t. I want you to know I didn’t mean it, I promise.”

Mom refused to look at me. Instead, she kept her eyes on the flowers.

“And I think it’s great that you’ve met a guy as nice as Greg, and I’m sure you’re going to be very happy.”

Her head jerked up, and she stared incredulously at me. “You do?” Mom questioned.

“Yeah.”

She reached out and touched my cheek. “I’m so sorry I hit you, Noah. I shouldn’t have done that.”

I shook my head. “Yes, you should have. In fact, you should have decked me one. I mean, I said a real shitty thing to you!”

“Language,” she half-heartedly admonished as a smile crept on her lips.

“Okay, it was a really crappy thing to say.”

“That’s better.” She reached over and hugged me. In her arms, I felt safe again like I had earlier with Maddie.

“I love you, Noah,” Mom whispered in my ear.

“I love you, too.”

That night when I got ready to get into bed, my eyes fell on the bookcase across from me. More specifically, they honed on the Sullivan family Bible. I got out of bed and slowly walked over to the bookcase. I pulled the ancient book off the shelf. As soon as I held it in my hands, the smell of age and dust filled my nostrils. I opened it and started thumbing through the pages. Suddenly, it flipped open to the Book of Genesis with the part about Noah, and an envelope fluttered to the floor.

“What the hell?” I murmured. I quickly bent down and scooped up the envelope. Scrawled across the front was my name, and it was in Granddaddy’s handwriting. With trembling fingers, I opened it. The only thing inside was a check for five thousand dollars. On the subject line, it read, “Noah’s Treasure”.

I stood dumbfounded in the middle of my room for a few minutes, just staring at the check dated two years ago. Then I threw open my bedroom door and ran down the hall to Mom’s room. I knocked on the door. “Come in,” she called.

Propped up in bed reading, she stared at me in surprise. “Honey, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

I strode over to her bedside and thrust the check into her hand. “I-I just found this in the Sullivan Bible.”

“Uh, huh,” Mom replied.

My mouth hung open. She didn’t seem a bit floored. “Um, hello, it’s a check for five thousand dollars!”

“Yes, I see that, sweetie.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Did you know about this?”

Mom nodded.

I snorted. “Then why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because Daddy told me not to. He wanted you find it yourself when you were ready—more precisely when you went searching in the Bible.”

“And what if I hadn’t?”

Mom smiled. “He knew you would.” She handed the check back to me. “And so did I.”

I couldn’t believe it. “But it’s been so long. Won’t the check be void?”

“No, Grammy has the money waiting on you.”

“Grammy knew about it too?”

“Of course, she did,” Mom said. She gave me a pointed look. “Where exactly did you find it?”

“In Genesis with Noah.”

The corners of her lips turned up in a pleased smile. “I thought he might put it there—course Romans was his favorite book. Do you know why I named you Noah?”

“Cause it was Granddaddy’s middle name?”

“Yes, but I also knew you were going to face a lot of struggles in life—not having a father and being what people would label ‘illegitimate’.”

“More like bastard, isn’t it?” I questioned, with a grin.

Mom rolled her eyes. “Whatever. I just wanted to name you after someone who was looked at negatively by the world but who was favored by God.”

I shook my head. “Aw, Mom, you’re so deep,” I mused, trying to avoid the serious look that was creeping in her eyes.

She smiled. “That’s right. Be a typical man and change the subject—anything to avoid the touchy feeling stuff, right?”

“Maybe,” I admitted.

“Okay, I think I’ll let you this once and not push it.”

“Good.” I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek before heading into the hallway to my room.

When I finally collapsed into bed, my mind was whirling. It’d been a hell of a day, and I was pretty sure there was more to come.

***

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