“I’ve always liked Noah. Maybe you should listen.”
“You listen then,” Jillian retorted. “I never want to hear his voice again.” Her voice changed. “I’ll book a flight tomorrow. I’ll call and let you know when to come get me.”
Jesse wished he could make everything right for Jillian. Once he figured out what was happening here, maybe he’d go looking for Noah.
Twenty-one
Faye wiped sweaty palms on her shorts. All she had to do was lift her hand and knock on the door, but her limbs felt frozen. The safety of her car was right behind her. She could rush back there or go forward. The way her heart was throbbing out of her chest, she wasn’t sure she could even say anything to her dad.
God has not given us a spirit of fear but of love and a sound mind. She reminded herself of the verse that had gotten her this far. Though the preacher who’d prayed with her had assured her God had answered her prayers and was waiting to listen to her, she still felt inadequate and undeserving when she tried to pray. She didn’t see how God could want to hear from anyone like her.
Steeling herself, she raised her hand and knocked on the door. Maybe he would be gone. Then she heard the sound of movement from inside.
“Coming,” a man’s voice said.
The familiarity of those gruff tones sapped the strength from her knees, and she nearly crumpled on the porch. Her smile felt frozen in place.
The door swung open, and the familiar scent of cloves greeted her. Otherwise, she almost didn’t recognize the man standing there. His thick black hair was now as white as the oyster shells he used to dive for, and his muscles had thinned. He looked almost gaunt compared to her mind’s picture of the vibrant man of fifty-three she’d last seen. Twenty-five years had passed since then. He was seventy-eight now, though he still held himself erect.
“May I help you?” her father asked. His sharp eyes settled on her face. He gave a start, and a tiny frown crouched between his eyes. His gaze swept her figure, then he blinked rapidly as though to clear his vision. He leaned against the doorjamb. “Paie?” His voice trembled as he called her by her Hawaiian name.
“Yes, Makuakane, I have come home.” The screen door still separated them. Faye wanted to fling it open and throw herself into her father’s arms.
As if he felt the longing in her heart, he pushed open the screen door and stepped onto the porch. “You’ve come home.” He lifted his hand then dropped it as if he didn’t know if she’d welcome his touch.
Faye was sobbing in earnest now. “I’m so sorry, Makuakane. I hurt you so much. You and the children.” She burrowed into his arms, pressing her face to his cotton shirt and inhaling his spicy scent.
His hand finally came up, and he smoothed her hair. His touch felt alien to her. He’d never been one for hugs and kisses like her mother. She could feel his chest heaving and thought he might be crying as well. Peeking up into his face, she saw tears trickling down the furrows in his cheeks. His hands gripped her shoulders, and he ended their embrace. “Come inside, Paie. I want to hear everything.”
She followed him inside and glanced around the living room. The sights and scents of her home swept over her like a rogue wave and nearly threw her onto the rocky shores of unendurable remorse. She closed her eyes and swayed on unsteady legs.
“Sit.”
Her father pointed to her favorite chair, a wooden rocker he had made when Faye was a child. Her mother had always used that chair, and Faye had often sat on the floor and leaned her head against her mother’s knees. “I didn’t know about Makuahine until I came back to the island. I wish I could have asked her to forgive me.”
Her father was silent. “She always longed for you.”
Faye’s throat closed. “I brought you both so much pain.”
“Perhaps. But I’ve learned from it. Where there is great joy there is always great pain as well. They are two sides of the same shell.”
“I’m afraid you experienced more tears than laughter with me,” she said.
His head bowed. “You are here now.”
“Do you forgive me, Makuakane?” she whispered.
He looked up, and his dark eyes pierced her soul. “I worked through that long ago. I forgive you, Paie, but you have amends to make with the children.”
“I know.” She hesitated. “I saw Bane yesterday.”
“Ah. And Mano and Kaia?”
“Kaia knows me but not who I am. I’ve been watching Heidi, her friend’s niece.”
His eyes widened. “You are the Faye I’ve heard so much about?”
“When she learns I am her mother, I don’t know how she will react.”