“I wasn’t sure you ever thought about it.”
He didn’t bother to hide the anger he felt rising. “Do you think I’m some kind of monster? My life changed that day, Steve. There’s not a day goes by that I don’t think about it.” What did he really want? Jesse couldn’t read his voice. Steve had always been a little strange—one minute friendly and the next as aloof as if Jesse had been a playground bully who had taken his toys. He was Christy’s twin, and the two had been close.
“I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t have called.” Steve’s voice grew husky.
Jesse sighed. “Well, you did, so you might as well tell me what you want.”
There was a long pause, then Steve cleared his throat. “It wasn’t your fault, Jesse. I know that now.”
“Come on, Steve, don’t throw me any bones. You and I both know the truth. It’s something I live with every day.” He didn’t even try to keep the regret from his voice. Part of it had been his fault. He’d come to grips with it, but it didn’t change the truth.
“No. No, it wasn’t. Christy was to blame, and that’s the truth.”
“I shouldn’t have argued with her that day. I knew she wasn’t thinking clearly, but I’d thought once the baby was born . . .” His voice broke. Jesse didn’t want to relive that day, but the memories crowded in like a school of piranha fighting over a wounded animal. He closed his eyes. Christy’s agitated voice rang in his ears.
“You never let me do anything! I’m stifling in this house. I wasn’t meant to be only a mother, Jesse. I want to have a career. We can hire a sitter. This kind of job offer only comes along once in a lifetime.”
“The doctor said you need to rest, Christy. You’re not able to do it now.” He glanced at her then turned his attention back to the road.
“If I don’t, I’ll lose the opportunity. I’ll be sitting at a desk all day. I can take a stool and put my feet up. Just think of it, Jesse. ‘Chat with Christy.’ My own radio spot. It’s my dream come true. I’m not giving it up just because you want me barefoot and pregnant.”
“Our baby is more important than a job, Christy. You can’t endanger the baby and your own health like that.”
Her voice rose. “I’m doing it, Jesse. And you can’t stop me. If I have to, I’ll abort this baby.”
Shocked at her words, he jerked his head to look at her. “You wouldn’t!”
“I will.” She thrust her jaw out.
While he stared at her in shock, her eyes widened. “Jesse, look out!”
His gaze whipped back to the front but too late to react to the curve coming up fast. Too fast. He slammed on the brake and fought the wheel. The tires screamed in tune with Christy’s shriek of terror.
Jesse blinked and realized Steve had said something. “I’m sorry?”
“I just said I wanted to put the past behind us. I’ve been attending a church lately.” He paused and cleared his throat again. “I treated you badly, Jesse. Can you forgive me for the harsh words I said at Christy’s funeral?”
“You didn’t say anything I haven’t said a thousand times over to myself. I should have been paying attention to the road. I deserved every word.”
“No, you didn’t. And I’m sorry.”
Jesse found it difficult to swallow.
Steve’s breath sounded erratic and shaky. “We should have been comforting one another. Instead we acted like wounded animals snapping at a helping hand. It made the grief worse not to have you there too. You’d been part of the family since we were kids.”
“Christy was eight the first time I saw her.” He could still remember the gap-toothed smile she’d given him that day. He’d fallen for her right then. They’d fought and made up and fallen in love over the fifteen years they’d lived next door to one another.
“Mom and Dad loved you like a son.”
“They turned on me fast enough.” He rubbed his knuckles into his burning eyes.
“They had to blame someone for the pain they felt. So did I. You were handy.”
Jesse’s vision blurred. He didn’t want to talk about it anymore. “I have to go, Steve. It’s been good talking to you.”
“Don’t shut me out, Jesse,” he pleaded. “I’ll be—”
Jesse cut him off. He couldn’t take any more. “Good-bye, Steve,” he said. He clicked off the phone and leaned against the headrest.
Kaia didn’t want to do this. She’d tried to think of a way to get to the bottom of things alone, but she had to be honest. She didn’t have the skills to figure it out without help. She needed Jesse’s help, much as she didn’t want to involve the navy. And Mano’s current situation demanded immediate action.