I wiped them away angrily. The war between rage and pain continued inside me. Arys let me have my moment of angry tears. He really did understand me better than I gave him credit for.
I had to go back to the bathroom to blow my nose and splash some cold water on my face. My eyes were bloodshot from crying. I stood in there for a few minutes, regaining my composure. I pushed my damp hair back from my face and concentrated on deep breathing. I could do this; I had no choice. I’d had my heart trampled before, and I’d come out stronger for it.
When I returned to the living room, Arys was standing in front of the window, gazing out at the sunset. It was the most light I’d ever seen come through the window into his house. The sun was deep enough over the horizon to pose little threat. Its final beams were accompanied by dashes of orange and pink.
Much the way the moon drew me, so did the sun. Sunset in the forest was heavenly. It kissed goodbye to the day with the promise of night lurking so close.
“I don’t mean to gloss over what you’ve been through in the last day or so, but what do you plan to do about Lilah? Did you talk with Shya?” Arys continued to stare out the window, squinting against the sun’s final rays.
“I did. He bailed out when the FPA showed up. The only thing I can do about Lilah is find a way to bind her. To keep her from breaking the curse that holds her. The good news is Shya doesn’t want that curse broken either. I have an ally.”
“An ally you can’t trust.”
“I can trust him on this. I’m sure of it.” I shrugged. “Regardless, I can’t deal with Lilah until I get Kale back from the FPA. I told Juliet I was coming for him. I meant it.”
Arys rounded on me with the furious outburst I was expecting. “Like hell you are. You are not putting yourself in danger for Sinclair. He can take care of himself.”
“Save it.” I waved a hand dismissively. “I don’t need your permission, Arys.”
His temper had an uncanny ability to go from cool to raging hot in mere seconds. I knew him well enough to expect it. I concentrated on staying calm. If we both flipped out, this would get ugly.
“I wasn’t so keen on your ridiculous choice to take his debt for Shya, but now you’re really not thinking.” Arys’s voice rose steadily. “You’d be doing the entire world a service by binding Lilah. You can’t sacrifice that for Kale.”
“The FPA is issuing a challenge. They need to know I won’t be controlled like my sister. If I leave him there, they’ll kill him. Or worse.” A shudder racked my body. I didn’t want to imagine what they could be doing to Kale.
Arys scowled, looking at me as if I were an idiot. “They won’t kill him. As long as they have him, they have something you want. They won’t waste that. If you walk right into their hands, you’ll just be giving them what they want from you.”
“I’m not leaving him there,” I insisted. A fight with Arys had not been on the agenda. However, if he was going to pursue it, I’d be happy to put him in his place. A conflict between the two of us was never less than fiery.
“You’ve lost your mind.” Arys’s eyes flashed dangerously. “You’re going to do something reckless, like usual, and torture Shaz and I by making us watch you die for him.”
That did it for my calm composure. The pressure had been mounting for days now. I snapped. “You wouldn’t be such a hard ass about this if I hadn’t screwed him. It happened once, dammit, and it’s never happened again.”
My intent was to storm out. I needed a good run on all fours. I needed escape. Arys had other ideas. He grabbed my arm as I stomped past him and jerked me around to face him.
“You think you know it all,” he spat the words in my face. “This isn’t about you f**king him. This is about you loving him.”
“Oh, this again.” I laughed bitterly. I tried to pull free of his grasp, but he held tight. “So Kale and I could screw until we’re blue in the face, and it wouldn’t bother you as long as there were no feelings involved? I call bullshit. I need to leave.”
“Wrong. You need to remember who you are and what you’re capable of.” He kissed me then, a hard, angry press of his lips to mine. “You can’t always let emotion drive you. To stay alive, you must also listen to logic.”
Just one kiss got my heart pounding. I gazed into his dark blue eyes, falling into their depths. “Logic left the building a long time ago. I’m not going to keep having this fight with you.”
“If you won’t accept my feelings and opinions as valid, then you have no choice.” The blue of his eyes slowly bled across the whites, going all wolf. It was no less terrifying this time than any other. “You are my other half, and I will not let you keep making decisions that threaten both of us.”
“Don’t try to control me,” I muttered, my wolf rising to the surface. “You should know better by now.”
“Ah, there’s my girl.” Arys grinned, revealing fangs. “I can handle your tears, but I prefer your temper.”
“Is that so? I might make you regret those words.”