“What?” Leia dropped her hand.
“You’re afraid, Leia. Afraid to marry and have children.” Malia lowered her voice as she leaned forward, her long hair falling over her shoulder. “Admit it.”
Leia should have known she couldn’t keep anything from Malia for long. Her gaze connected with her aunt’s, and she saw compassion on Luana’s face. “I studied genetics, Malia. With Eva and I both being born with birth defects, I knew how likely it was for me to pass on that gene to my children. I didn’t want to inflict that on another child.” Tell her.
“At least you’re admitting it. I was getting tired of the subterfuge. You used Bane’s objection to your giving up your career as an excuse, didn’t you?”
“Maybe I did. Things were strained when I left for San Francisco. Once I got away and thought about things, I knew it wasn’t working.” She resisted the urge to tell her cousin the whole truth.
Luana’s voice was heavy. “Your mother has a lot to answer for. She’s made you believe you don’t deserve love. Something is broken in her. All the wanting in the world won’t change it. All you can do is let it go.”
“I wish it were that easy.”
“You can’t force love. Or ignore it forever.” Malia studied her face. “I know you, Leia. You love Bane. There’s more to your break-up than a vague fear. There has to be.”
The silence stretched out between them. Tell her. Leia rubbed her forehead. “It’s more than vague, Malia. I consulted a geneticist. There’s a strong chance that any child of mine would have the cleft lip, maybe a cleft palate too.”
Malia put her hand to her mouth. “Did you tell your parents?”
“No, why would I?” Leia didn’t want to talk about it anymore. “It’s time to go out to T?t?’s. She’ll be glad to see us. She’s making pineapple boats.”
They stood, and her aunt embraced her. “I have to get back home. I’ll be praying for you, Leia. Remember, God is in this, even when you can’t see his hand.”
Leia sank into her aunt’s embrace and inhaled the white ginger scent she wore. Why couldn’t her own mother love her as her auntie did? She pulled away and kissed her aunt’s soft cheek. “Thanks, Auntie.”
Eva had wandered close enough to hear. “I love pineapple boats. Can Hina come too?”
“Sure.” Leia put her paints away, and they went to Leia’s motor-bike. Malia and her mother got into the sidecar, and Eva climbed on behind Leia. She drove through thick mangroves to a small, quaint cottage overgrown with red jade vines, their crimson lobes nearly covering the surface of the west wall. More flowers choked the yard, so many that it was hard to distinguish one plant from another: ginger, hibiscus, orchids, and proteas vied for space in the tiny yard. Bougainvillea rambled over the picket fence, and a bromeliads splashed a bright canvas of color by a monkeypod tree. The heady mixture of fragrances was nearly overpowering. She parked and they hurried to the front of the house.
Leia opened the screen door. “T?t?, we’re here.” She stepped into the cool darkness of the cottage. For someone who loved flowers and spent every moment in her garden, it always amazed Leia that her grandmother kept heavy drapes pulled all the time. She said she didn’t want the sun to fade her furniture, but Leia thought it was her grandmother’s way of hiding her deformity from tourists. The interior smelled closed up and musty, though her grandmother kept everything spotless.
Eva ran past Leia as their grandmother came through the door-way to the kitchen. “T?t?! We’ve come to visit you.”
“I see that, keiki.” With one arm around Eva, Ipo Kahale advanced to embrace Leia and Malia. She wore a muumuu, but rubber boots clad her feet. “Would you like some kope? I just made a fresh pot.”
She tried not to look at her grandmother’s feet. Since the dementia problems, T?t? often chose unusual combinations to wear. “I’d love a cup.” They followed their grandmother to the warm kitchen. Most homes didn’t have air-conditioning, but with the curtains drawn, the trade winds had a hard time cooling the interior.