She focused her gaze on the kapa. Its perfection mocked her. Every detail was beautiful—and perfect. Bane might not understand now, but she needed to do what was best for him. She loved him too much to let him settle for second best. She turned away without answering and went to the living room, where she scooped Hina into her arms and sank onto the couch. He followed Leia and sat beside her. His nearness made it hard to think rationally. Was that his intention?
He put his arm over the back of the couch behind her head. “I think you love me, Leia. You’re just being stubborn.”
There was something in Bane’s voice that made her take a sharp look at his face. He didn’t sound perturbed or frustrated. Her gaze went to the kapa again. She longed to touch it.
“You still haven’t accepted the fact that God is sovereign, have you?” He removed the cloth from his arm and began to unfold it. “Beautiful isn’t it?” he asked, laying it across her lap.
“It’s exquisite.” She ran her hand over it and inhaled the scent of sandalwood. “Why do you have it?”
“I got it from Ono. After conferring with the list of missing artifacts and talking to your grandmother, he realized it belongs to your family. Your grandmother asked me to bring it to you.”
“It’s perfect.” And fragile, lovely, and remarkable. She’d never seen anything like it.
“Not perfect. It has some burn marks and some imperfections in the weaving of it.” He pointed them out to her. “It’s really worth-less. I’ll throw it away.” He stood and began to gather the cloth in his arms.
She caught at his arm. “Are you crazy? It’s priceless!”
“It’s flawed.” His intent stare pinned her in place.
“I see where you’re going with this. You’re saying I’m valuable even though I was born with birth defects. I know that. I’m grateful for my life, thankful for the medical advances that have allowed me to live a normal life, but I mean what I said: I don’t want to have children who would go through what I did.”
“This kapa is more beautiful because of the years it was used, the lives it enhanced. Everything we go through makes us stronger and unique. Every life has value, Leia. God has a reason for every-thing he sends. If he chose to send us a flawed child, at least flawed the way the world looks at it, we’d love it anyway, just like he does. But he might choose to send us a healthy baby. It’s not our choice. You know what? Even if we had our own children, I’d like to adopt a child with special needs. That child would have been brought into the world through no fault of ours. You would be a great mother to a child like that. I see the way you love Eva.”
The thought held more appeal than she’d imagined it could. Before she could think about it, Bane fully unfurled the cloth. He wrapped it over her and tucked it under her chin with gentle hands. “Think about it. I’ll go now. Are you coming to the festival tonight?”
She tore her gaze from the kapa. “I’d planned on it. I hope you’re going to beat Pete, and I want to see how my kapa did in the judging.”
“You’re going to win. I’ll play better with you there.”
“It’s always surprised me that you play the ukulele with such passion. You don’t seem the artistic type. You’re a military man.”
He looked at his feet. “There’s a lot I’ve tried to change about myself because of my fears about being left.”
He didn’t like to talk about his childhood. “Maybe you don’t stop to think of the ways your experiences as a child have shaped you into the man you are. You’re strong, dependable, and as constant as the tide,” she told him.
“I’ve realized it lately. And I’ve decided to stop letting those experiences change who I am inside.” He smiled, a wry but gentle grimace. “I tried to become who I needed to be and buried some things. Things God has shown me I need to let out. It’s going to be hard, but I’ll try if you will.”
She stared into his earnest face. She loved this man with all her heart. Too much to promise something that would hurt him in the end. “I don’t know if I can make that promise. And you might not want to wait. I’ve decided to do a residency in natural medicine.”
His expectant look turned solemn. “I’ll wait for you forever, Leia. But I could go with you, you know. Pray about it, Leia. Promise me that much.”
“Okay,” she said after a long pause. “But God and I aren’t on the best terms right now.”
“That’s the first thing you need to fix.”
She chose not to answer and rose to lead him to the door. Carrying the kapa, because she couldn’t bear to lay it aside, she showed him out.
“Be sure to come tonight. I might surprise you.” His smile held a trace of mischief and promise. “I’ve decided to let the real Bane Oana come out to play. For all the world to see, in fact.”
Her pulse jumped at the look in his eyes. What did he mean? She couldn’t wait to find out.