chapter 26
Fear, anger, and jealousy stormed through Josh, pulling at his insides and squeezing his ribs tight.
He strained his eyes to keep his chin down while glaring over his shoulder.
Liv’s arms lolled at her sides, her head tilted up, her face a blank canvas. “Another time, Van.
I’m working.” She smiled, but it was tight at the corners. “You owe me an orgasm. Don’t think I won’t collect.”
Van raised his hand, caught a few strands of her loose hair in his fist, and yanked. His eyes flicked to Josh.
Crap. Josh dropped his gaze, praying he didn’t rouse suspicion about his obedience.
“Okay, Liv.” Van sighed, his voice tired. “Get through the meeting tomorrow. Then come to me.” The unmistakable smack of lips followed, colliding with wet sucking sounds. The door clicked shut.
The gravity of what Josh had just participated in settled like lead in his gut. The burger and fries gurgled to come up. He jumped to his feet. “He needs a damned padded room.” She slumped against the door, her stoic mask falling away, exposing the heartbreaking expression of a trapped woman. Her eyes fluttered shut.
He moved to her, the rope web pulling on his thighs, the plug rubbing sore tissues. He leaned into her space, frustrated he couldn’t hold her, and pressed his forehead against hers. “It worked, at least.”
“For now. We still have to get through tomorrow.”
And the next nine weeks. He inhaled the scent of her skin at her temple and let her closeness soothe his nerves.
“Do you resent what I did tonight?” Her voice was small, unsteady.
His sins were mounting. Of course, he hadn’t been given a choice, but he orgasmed in another man’s fist. Did it really matter in the scope of their situation? “No, Liv. You got me past some pretty big barriers. If I hadn’t been so horny for you—” he dropped his head on her shoulder, laughed, groaned “—that would’ve gone much worse.” He straightened and looked into her eyes. “What was the semen-licking thing about?”
A ragged sigh pushed past her lips. “It’s his thing. He does it during training sessions. In the past, it wasn’t a battle I’d chosen to fight. Changing that tonight would’ve stirred up questions about us.” Us. The sound of that stirred up all kinds of questions. But that was for another time.
Her hand traveled over his backside and gripped the plastic base of the plug. She leaned up and bit his lip as she pulled it out with one tug.
He blew out a breath, the muscles in his backside clenching away the tension. But his relief was accompanied by a flush that spread through his body. She’d awoken something in him, and he wanted…more. He followed her to the sink.
She washed the plug and tackled his ropes. As the knots loosened so did his knees. He leaned his butt against the edge of the vanity and relaxed into the satiny feel of her hands trailing over his chest.
Her breasts swayed beneath the movements of her toned arms as she freed each length of rope.
He wanted to lean in and lick her parted lips. He wanted to lick her everywhere, and his penis responded immediately to that thought. Her gaze lowered to his glaring arousal, and a slow smile built on her gorgeous face. She flicked her eyes to his and shook her head, grinning.
“I wasn’t like this before I met you.” He laughed. It was kind of true.
“Bullshit. You just wore a jockstrap to keep your endless boners tucked away.”
“Actually—” he puffed his chest defensively “—I tucked it into the waistband of my briefs.” A laugh bubbled from her, and she tossed the last of the ropes on the floor. “Let’s take a shower, you dirty boy.”
Showering with her was a thrilling mix of gratification and torture. He knelt at her feet, caressing soap along the contours of her slender body. Every curve he stroked reminded him how desperately he wanted her. His breaths quickened, and his hands lingered on her inner thighs, his erection oh-so painfully aware of her naked proximity.
His fingers ached with the need to touch her breasts. So he did with a lather of bubbles and a devoted hand. He was in love with her body, the perfect size of her chest, the dramatic dip of her waist, the pink flesh between her legs. Simply watching her stirred a shiver of pleasure through his groin and a fluttering feeling near his heart.
There was nowhere in the world he’d rather be than on his knees, worshiping her body. It felt…
right. The thought should’ve made his blood run cold. Instead, it flooded his chest with a fulfilling warmth.
When they finished the shower, they turned off the lights and collapsed on the mattress.
He pulled her back to his chest and hooked an arm around her waist, her clean minty scent clearing his head. He’d become accustomed to her nudity, but with both of them bare in this position, it felt new, intense. Her belly warm beneath his hand, her feet sliding over his shins, he couldn’t quiet the endless stirring he felt in her presence.
“You’re hard.” There was a smile in her voice.
“You’re naked. And I’m going to burn in hell.”
Her musical laugh lifted through the darkness. “For snuggling with the devil?”
“The devil with the voice and heart of an angel.” He buried his nose in the soft damp strands of her hair. “I want you so damned much, Liv.”
The curve of her body along the length of his lay motionless, unresponsive.
How many times had a captive made the same declaration to her? Damn his big mouth. “That doesn’t mean I’m going to—”
“You don’t want me.” Her whisper cracked. “You want…someone who deserves you.” An ache tightened his chest. He heard her. Not her words but her. For a fraction of a moment, he heard the girl he’d been searching for. The girl who yearned to be loved. “Will you do something for me?”
She tensed against him.
He caressed his hand from her belly to her breastbone and settled it over the galloping beat of her heart. “When it’s just you and me, lose all those guarded layers. Let me see you.” He raised up on his elbow and strained his eyes through the dark to make out the outline of her face. “Don’t hide this from me.” He tapped the spot over her heart.
A noise hitched in her throat. “It’s ugly in there, decayed by lies and shame, endlessly bleeding for all the lives I’ve ruined. You’re the eighth reason I don’t deserve affection.” Eight slaves worth of guilt. He wanted to ask where they were, if she could trace their buyers.
But those questions would derail the conversation and dredge up the one thing they hadn’t discussed.
His future. “That’s not who you are, Liv.”
“Don’t do this.”
The anguish in her whisper gutted him. He pushed through it. “Don’t do what?”
“Don’t make me feel things for you.” Her voice rattled. “It will end badly.” So much fear and hurt. He wanted to take it from her, longed to heal her. But she needed to open herself up and let him in. “You think having feelings for someone puts them in danger?” He was in danger whether she cared for him or not.
Her breaths quickened.
“Did you have a relationship with any of the others?” Had she fallen for a captive and sold him into slavery? No amount of praying could have prepared him for the answer.
“I’ve never been in love.” A weighted exhale. “And I’ve only had sex with one person in my life.”
His pulse spiked. She’d told him her original buyer hadn’t touched her before he tested and rejected her, but the rest? No sex with slaves? No dating between captives? Maybe he should’ve been relieved, but all he could feel was outrage. The only intimacy she’d known was with a person who coerced her, raped her, and beat her. “Do not let him dictate your self-worth, Liv.” Her entire body went rigid. “Do not preach your self-righteous bullshit. This is not a therapy session.”
Though her reaction made his hands curl into fists, he knew he’d plucked a nerve. It was progress. With regard to her irritation, he could fix that.
He rolled her to her back and took her mouth, tasting the mint of her toothpaste, relishing the instant stretch of her jaw. She welcomed him with a heated gasp and a teasing tongue, swirling and whipping and stealing his breaths. He ran his hands down her arms, up her ribs, lifting and kneading the fullness of her breasts.
She licked and sucked his lips, shooting tingles across his skin. Her fingertips grazed the arch of his butt and brushed a trail of warmth along his spine. Each of her caresses, every breath of her attention, flowed through him and settled between his legs, aching, hardening, needing. Too soon, she tried to lean back and break the kiss.
He surged forward, deepening the reach of his tongue, clinging to the connection, wanting more, wanting all of her. “Let me inside of you.” He rocked his erection against her thigh, groaning, wanting in her so badly. “Please, Liv.”
“No.” Her tone was a sharp prick. The rejection cut.
He dropped his face against her neck, moaned. There were dozens of reasons why she would refuse him. He needed to know her reason. “Tell me why.” She pushed on his chest until he conceded a few inches of space. “I’ve been where you are. I gave the wrong person my virginity and have resented him every second since.” Her hand cupped his jaw and fell away.
He had a long way to go on salvaging her self-worth if she put herself in the same category as Van. “Fine, Liv.” He blew out a breath. “We’ll work on righting your perceptions.”
“We’re not—”
He pressed two fingers over her lips. “Let me touch you. I’ve been here eight days and haven’t seen you orgasm once.” He released her mouth to trace the line of her neck.
“Just hold me?” Her request was tender in its delivery, but potent in its significance.
“Gladly.” He curled around her back and tucked a knee between her legs. His hand on her breast, his heart paced in tune with hers.
Holding her, melding with her, his virginity felt so inconsequential. This connection extended far beyond a physical union. He’d give her anything. He wanted to give her everything.
“Liv?”
“Mm.”
“You said there were twelve requirements. You’ve only given me eleven.” She laced her fingers through his and held their hands to her chest. “Requirement number twelve.
Slave will not sleep in Master’s bed.”
His laugh coaxed hers, and they tumbled into comfortable silence.
The ceiling’s A/C vent breathed a steady whoosh. He tried to sleep, but his mind wouldn’t shut off as he traced through the events of the night. “You awake?”
“Yeah.”
“Why did Van pull out your hair?”
A sigh. “It’s his thing.”
It was a common occurrence? “He has a lot of things.”
“You have no idea.” She wiggled her back closer against his chest. “Go to sleep. We’ve got a four hour drive tomorrow.”
The meeting with the buyer. He would leave the attic, taunted with freedom, enchained by the threat on her life.