Come Alive (Experiment in Terror #7)

CHAPTER TWENTY

I was back on the goddamn row boat again. Back in the world of grey and monotony, of silky swamp water and huddled trees.

But I wasn’t alone.

My mother was on the boat with me, sitting at the end, a shawl wrapped around her. Her eyes were focused on the water, like I wasn’t even there. For once she didn’t look vaguely demonic. She looked as I remembered as a boy— a pretty woman with a lot of pain in her dark eyes.

It was weird being so close to her. I was still afraid, just as I had been when she was alive, never knowing what she was going to say or do to me. I didn’t know where we were, though I was going to assume I was inside the Thin Veil, and I didn’t know what rules applied. Was I dead? Was this my life now? Was she taking me somewhere in the row boat, someplace I’d never return from?

She began to sing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” again, her clear voice sending icy fingers down my spine. She sang the whole song, her voice carrying out over the water and coming back to her in harmony. I remembered that about her, that sometimes she would sing to me, when I wasn’t being terrorized of course. Only now did I realize that she’s where I got my singing abilities from.

“Declan, you have to go to sleep now,” she said kindly, still looking at the water.

I shivered at the uneasiness in the thick, grey air, at the blank look on her face. Should I say something to her? I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. She could strike fear in me like no one else could, even when she looked normal.

“Michael is in bed, he’s going to sleep, why can’t you? Why are you always so afraid, Declan? Did Michael say something to you? Is it me?”

I swallowed hard and looked over the side of the boat, to see what she could be looking at. There was nothing but water glinting under a sun I couldn’t see.

A sad smile came across her lips and she lowered her hand into the water, just brushing the surface. I had to imagine there was some younger version of myself in there, talking back.

“I’m sorry for what happened yesterday. Sometimes…sometimes I am not myself. I think it’s getting worse. But I still love you very much. You must know that, my son. I will always love you.”

I felt a lump get stuck in my throat. I nearly choked. My eyes were wet for some reason.

She went on, tears coming to her eyes too. “Please remember that. Remember this. Remember the good days when you look back. You were very much wanted by both me and your father. We will always be your parents. We raised you, it didn’t. You are our child and no one else’s.”

I had to say something. I had to know.

“What happened to you?” I asked her, my voice breaking.

She smiled again, still looking at the water. “Sometimes something very good can come from something very bad.”

“Was Michael the same?” My older brother had always been the overachiever, the sane one, the good son.

She didn’t say anything. Her face contorted in pain. >

“Mother, is Michael the same as me?”

She closed her eyes and a tear rolled down. “I don’t even know your brother sometimes.”

What the f*ck did that mean?

“Mom…”

“Be strong, no matter what happens to me. No matter what happens to your father. Be good. I know you have that in you, even if he doesn’t.”

“Who!” I yelled at her, the boat rocking beneath me as I stood up, trying to get her attention. “Who isn’t good? My father? Michael?”

She finally turned to look at me. Her eyes were now empty sockets.

“Go to sleep, Declan.”

And so I did.

***

“He’s coming around,” a woman with a heavy Louisiana accent said. “I’ll see if I can find her.”

I didn’t recognize the voice of the person speaking and was met with a spinning head and the strong urge to vomit, all before I even opened my eyes.

Please let me not be on a boat, please let me not be on a boat, I thought to myself. Also, no coffins please.

“Hey buddy,” I heard a familiar voice say. A heavy hand was placed on my arm.

I carefully opened my eyes, blinking hard at the stream of light that was coming in through a window. My eyes moved over to Maximus who was leaning over me, his red hair gleaming from the sunlight like some ginger halo.

“Oh god, am I in hell?” I asked, my throat feeling like it had been scraped with sandpaper. “Where am I?” Panic suddenly shot through me like an arrow and I made a feeble attempt to sit up, even though every single part of me hurt. “Where’s Perry?”

“She’s fine,” he said, pushing me back down into the bed. “The nurse went to go get her. She was so worried about you she wouldn’t sleep until they gave her a sleeping pill. I think she’s passed out in the waiting room somewhere. And if you can’t already tell, yes you are in a hospital.”

I groaned and tried to reach up to my ear. There was a lot of gauze wrapped around it and my head. “F*ck me, what happened?”

“You don’t remember?” Maximus asked, pulling up a chair and sitting down.

My mind went back over the events. No, unfortunately I remembered everything until he pulled me onto the air boat.

“I remember you rescuing us. How long have I been out for?”

“Two days,” he said.

“What?!” I exclaimed. “Why…what’s wrong with me?”

He smirked. “Well aside from the fact that your body was carved up, you had a broken rib from a python, according to Perry anyway, your ear’s been Van Gogh’d, and you had a concussion from the car accident, your blood was pumped full of two poisons. The doctors are amazed you’re even alive considering how much you had in your system. I hate to sound trite, but it’s kind of a miracle.”

But I wasn’t the only one this was done to. I looked at him. “What about Rose?”

I already knew it was bad news. He dropped his eyes to the floor. “Rose is alive.”

“How alive?”

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “She’s…the drugs did some damage to her. They don’t know if it’s reversible. She’s in there somewhere though, I can see it. At the moment though, she can’t really talk or do anything. She can’t even go to the bathroom by herself.”

My heart jerked. “I’m so sorry, man.”

He eyed me. “No insult?”

I gave him a melancholy smile. “I’ll give you a free pass, for now.”

He bit his lip and nodded. “Well, that’s the way life goes sometimes, doesn’t it?” He cleared his throat.

Ugh. I hated feeling so terrible for the big guy. I wasn’t built for this. “So how did you find us? Perry said it was a long story and then there were zombies and she never had a chance to explain.”

He seemed happy to be off the subject of Rose. “You were gone quite a while, long enough that we were getting worried. Even Perry. We tried your phones but they kept ringing, no one picked up. I went down and asked the receptionist if we could borrow her car and go look for you guys and that was all set up when I got a phone call from Maryse.”

“Mambo Number Five?” I asked but then remembered what Ambrosia had said happened to Maryse and immediately felt bad for making a joke.

“She said she felt we were in danger and that Ambrosia was coming for her. I told her where you guys were, what you were doing, and that you weren’t answering the phone. She said Ambrosia probably already had you. We had to get out to her place. We’d then have to take her boat from there. She gave some pretty rudimentary directions: drive boat three miles northeast, turn back in at a stump with a heron’s nest on top, head down inlet, past the rotting fishing boat. All of this with a f*cking flashlight. I’m amazed we even found Ambrosia’s place, actually. Then the call dropped and we never heard from Maryse again. We borrowed the receptionist’s car and took straight off after you.”

“What happened to Rose’s truck?”

“I called the cops and let them know. They eventually called me and said they found it abandoned and in a serious accident. Couldn’t find the other car at fault. Your camera equipment was stolen out of the back seat, probably from some street punks. They did find your phone though.” He fished it out of his pocket and displayed it. “Must have fallen out of the seat when you hit…whatever you hit. Was it car?”

I nodded. “I think so, anyway.”

“Did you get any footage shot?”

I shook my head. “To be honest, I was too chickenshit to be filming in that neighborhood. We were just about to come home. Rose made a wrong turn on the wrong street. The truck just died and suddenly there was a zombie mob. But here’s the thing, when I tried to start the car, it worked.” I stared at Maximus carefully as if he could give me an explanation to that.

He shrugged. “I couldn’t tell you why.”

“Well as long as you don’t call me special again.”

He gave me a dry look. “You’re sitting here and talking to me when you shouldn’t be Dex, I think that’s pretty special.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of rumpled paper. “When we got to Maryse’s she was gone, so was Ambrosia’s air boat. But she left this behind.”

He handed it to me. I eyed him suspiciously. “Holding back police evidence now, are we?”

I looked at the paper and I read it out loud, “Tell Rose that I’m sorry. It wasn’t my place to interfere. Everyone should be allowed to make their own mistakes.”

“Do you think that maybe Maryse was involved with Ambrosia’s plan somehow?” he asked.

I shook my head, wincing at the headache it brought on. My ear throbbed sharply. “No. I know she wasn’t. This is something else.” Maximus never knew what Maryse had done, that she’d discouraged Rose from staying with him after he’d gone Rogue. I didn’t know if it was my place to tell him that either, not now when his heart was a mess and Rose was an invalid. But since when did I ever play it safe?

“What it means,” I went on, “was that she told Rose not to hold on to you. She told her it would be better for both of you if you weren’t together. That she shouldn’t take the risk.”

His mouth dropped slightly. “How…?”

“Rose told me. She said she regretted it every day, letting someone else influence her decision. She said she’d rather live her days with ghosts and demons with you by her side than the alternative. You would have been worth the risk. It’s true.”

He sucked in his breath and looked to the window, his eyes becoming glossy. Oh shit. Don’t tell me I was making the ginger f*cker cry now?

I watched him, wide-eyed and uncomfortable, unsure of what to do or what else to say.

Finally he said, “Thanks, buddy,” in a choked voice and got to his feet. He looked to me and smiled. “I needed to hear that.”

“Am I interrupting something?” a quiet voice said from the door. My heart skipped in leaps and bounds. I swiveled my head so fast that the room spun but I did not f*cking care.

Perry was standing in the doorway, rubbing her hands up and down her arms. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail that she’d obviously slept in. She was wearing jeans, chucks and a Faith No More shirt she’d cut into a tank top. Her face didn’t have a lick of makeup on it and I knew she hadn’t slept in days. But she was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. And, no matter what, I was still the luckiest son-of-a-bitch in the world.

“No,” Maximus said quickly, looking between the two of us. “I was just on my way out.”

He squeezed past Perry and left the room, closing the door behind him.

She stood there for a moment, watching me, the distance between us seeming far too large and heavy. I smiled. That’s all it took.

She came rushing over, big blue eyes welling up, and threw her arms around me, burying her face in my neck. I didn’t even feel any pain. I closed my eyes, my grin taking over my face, and wrapped my arms around her, not caring that it was pulling on my IV drip. I held her as tight as I could, with what strength I had.

Perry sobbed away, trying to speak but not being able to.

“Shhhh, it’s okay,” I soothed her, stroking the back of her head, her silken hair feeling like heaven under my worn fingers.

I held her like that for as long as I could, just relishing the weight of her in my arms, her heart beating against mine. I decided I was lucky enough to be given a second chance with her, I wasn’t going to screw it up. It didn’t matter if us being together opened more doors to other worlds, I didn’t care if her pregnancy could ruin us. I wasn’t going to let her go on the advice of others. What Rose said to me was true, I just hurting too much to listen to it. It hurt to know that I had just given up when the going got rough, that I didn’t have enough hope in me to forge through. To risk it all.

There was always another way. I didn’t know what Perry was feeling but I knew how I was feeling. I knew her heart was worth all the ugliness we’d have to endure. I wasn’t going to give her up on chance. It threw a wrench into what I really wanted—a baby with her, a lifetime together, but there was always another way.

“I’m so sorry, Dex,” she cried, pulling away so she could look at me. I gently ran my thumbs under her eyes, wiping away her tears. “I’m so sorry.”

“Baby, I’m sorry,” I told her, holding her face in my hands now. “I said things I shouldn’t have because I got scared.”

“I know it was Ambrosia.”

“I know. It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry I doubted you to begin with. I should have believed you.”

“I said some horrible things.”

“I said some horrible things. Baby, I wish I could take them back.”

She sniffed and looked away. “Me too. But I’m glad you said them. Because I am young, Dex. You’re like nine years older than me and it scares me, you know? You have all this experience with the world, with sex, with relationships—everything. I feel like I’ve barely lived. This ain’t easy to say but…I worry about us. I worry that I’m going to screw it all up because I don’t know what I’m doing. This is so new to me.”

“Perry, it’s okay.” Her honesty was breaking my heart.

She shook her head. “It’s not okay. Dex, I am so goddamn afraid, you have no idea.”

I kissed her forehead softly and whispered, “I have some idea.”

“No,” she said. She leaned in closer, our noses touching, her eyes searching mine. Oh god, I was so close to just ripping the IV out of my arm and taking her right there on the hospital bed, severed ear and all.

She went on, her voice warbling, “No, I’ve been holding back, Dex. I’ve been too scared to even let myself feel anything deeper than my skin. Do you know how I knew I was close to losing you last night?”

“The Mambo called up Maximus.”

“No.” She licked her lips. I wanted to lick them too, but I felt she was about to tell me something important. “I mean, she did. But I was in my room. I was pacing back and forth, so f*cking worried about you. I sat down on my bed and just tried to think, to calm myself down. I had one of your cigarettes you know, so I lit it up—I didn’t care, they let you smoke everywhere here. And then I saw Pippa.”

I frowned. “Really?”

“Yeah. Really. It was her, just as always. Standing at the end of the bed. Gave me a f*cking heart attack but…you know, it was good to see her. It was nice. I…I feel like she’s the only one in my family who really cares…and who really understands.” She rubbed her lips together and sniffed. My baby kept breaking me. “She didn’t say much. She just said…that I shouldn’t worry. That there is only good from love. That our hearts are magnets. That we couldn’t stay apart for long.”

Our hearts are magnets. I’d heard Perry’s thoughts say that before. I’d always liked the sound of that.

“And as corny as that all sounds, I think she’s right,” she added.

I nodded and pulled her to me again. Pippa may have been a mortal like us but, like us, she knew a thing or two about love and loss. I’d take her advice any day.

“Dex,” Perry said into my neck, her wet lips brushing my skin, sending shockwaves through the rest of my body. She pulled her head back and kissed me, hard and soft and deep all at the same time. I couldn’t have been floating higher

She brushed back my hair, careful to avoid the damaged part of my head. There were so many things in her eyes, so much fear and so much hope.

Perry took a deep breath and put her hands on either side of my face. She kissed me again, looked me dead in the eye and said, “Dex Foray. I love you.”

Her words took a while to sink in, like the finest drugs, like the start of that trip you never want to end.

She smiled despite herself, despite the look of shock that I knew was on my face and continued, “I love you, I’ve loved you from the very start. And…sometimes I think I can’t possibly love you more. And then I do. You fill me up and break my own heart open, you know? It just creates more room. There is no limit. I love you, I love you, I love you and I’ll die saying it because I was born to feel it. I am in love with you, you wonderful, funny, handsome man.”

I might have been floating on air earlier, but this…this was grounding me. This was pulling me down, dark and deep and oh so f*cking good. This was holding me in place, letting her words wash over me, the sincerity—the love—in her eyes, the passion in her touch. This was something real. This was what I wanted to be buried in, this truth.

I thought my smile would split my head in two. I felt breathless, my heart racing triumphantly. I felt grounded, weightless, alive and otherworldly. I felt her skin, electric between my hands. I pulled her to me and kissed her, kissed her so damn hard even as I started to laugh with joy.

“Baby,” I managed to say when I held it together long enough, “Baby, I love you, more than ever, more than anything in the f*cking world. You are my world. And all I’ve ever wanted is for me to be yours.”

She kissed me. I kissed her. She traced my skin, I traced hers. Every single nerve in my body was alive. And to say I was hard as concrete would have been an understatement.

I pressed my fingers into her face. “Baby, the first chance I get, I’m going to f*ck the shit out of you,” I growled.

She smiled coyly, her eyes twinkling. “I think it’s called making love now.”

“Then I’m f*cking making love the shit out of you.” I kissed her hard again, pulling her closer against my body, knowing the hospital gown I was in was tissue thin and did nothing to hide my arousal. I’d never wanted her so bad. I wanted more than anything to seal this, to make this real, make it physical.

There was a knock at the door.

Of f*cking course.

A chubby-faced nurse poked her head in. She frowned at the sight of Perry practically lying on top of me and gave us a forced smile.

“I’m sorry, the doctor will have to see him soon,” she said, then shut the door with a grunt of disgust.

Perry grinned, bright as sunshine, and straightened up. “I can take the hint.”

“She looks a bit like the nurse on Fawlty Towers,” I noted, remembering an episode we’d watched recently.

She climbed off of me and looked up and down my body. “Except you have more than an ingrown toenail. Dex, you know what happened to your ear right?”

I gulped. “I vaguely recall Ambrosia slicing it off.”

“The doctors tried to reattach it. They discovered it on Ambrosia when they found her body. But it was too late. Actually your body heals extremely fast, Dex. Almost all your cuts are healed. They can’t really explain it.”

No, but we could. I grimaced. “So I’m real ugly now, is that what you’re saying?”

“Well they said your ear should be more or less like normal when it fully heals. You’ll just be missing a little tip.”

“But the tip is the best part,” I groaned.

“Be glad she didn’t go after your dick then.”

“You should be glad she didn’t,” I said, then relaxed back, feeling suddenly exhausted. “Oh well, I guess it was about time I had a flaw.”

Her mouth twitched up. “Right.”

I looked at her in earnest, remembering Ambrosia, what I had done. “Am I in any trouble? For, you know?”

“No. I explained everything to the police. Self-defense through and through. She’s dead and they’re pretty happy about it. The attacks had been getting out of hand lately and contrary to what Ambrosia thought, they were trying to do something about it. I feel like it still might be swept under the rug and explained as bath salts…whatever keeps the public happy.”

“Miss Palomino,” the nurse said from the door. “I’m sorry.”

Perry looked at me, cheeks beaming, and kissed me quickly on the lips before she trotted out of the room.

The doctor came in soon after, pretty much telling me the same thing Perry had told me. Amazing immune system, ear will almost be normal, surprised I was still alive, blah blah blah.

But I wasn’t the only one who’d come alive. Perry did when told me she loved me.

She loved me.

She loved me.

***

I was in the hospital for another night for observation. The nurse started limiting visitor contact for fear of overexertion, so I didn’t see Perry or Maximus much until I was ready to leave.

I slipped on my clothes, careful not to hurt my rib or tear all my stiches. I was almost fully healed, the cut underneath my tattoo just a ruddy, faded line, but I didn’t want to push my luck.

“You ready to go?” Maximus asked having opened the door a crack and stuck his head in.

I shot him a look over my shoulder and went back to pulling on my shirt. “Can’t a man get dressed in private anymore? Thought you would have gotten a good enough look at my junk when I was in the swamp the other day. Though, I hope you accounted for shrinkage.”

He didn’t say anything to that, not even a snort of disgust, so I turned around and looked at him. He looked forlorn and serious, face wane.

“What is it?” I asked.

“I’m not going with you,” he said.

“What?”

He sighed and shut the door behind him, leaning against it. “I know I promised I’d do the show with you and Perry, I know Jimmy was counting on it. But I can’t go. I have to stay here. I’m sorry.”

I nodded, understanding. “Rose.”

He chewed on his lip thoughtfully. “Yeah. She’s doing a bit better now. She can talk and kind of care for herself. She doesn’t remember me though. She doesn’t remember any of us. She doesn’t know what she is.”

“Shit.”

“Doctors said amnesia is a side effect, that I should be happy that she’s at least improving. Dex, she has no one but me now. Maryse has now been proclaimed dead. She doesn’t have any family. She doesn’t have anyone to look after her.”

I straightened my shirt out and looked him in the eye. “Maximus, you go do what you have to do. Perry and I will figure things out on our own. We’ll be okay.”

I picked up my duffel bag that they’d brought to the hospital for me and made my way over to the door. I stood a foot away from the flannel-coated, red-headed giant and it struck me with surprising emotion that this might be the last time I’d see the douchecanoe again.

“Take care, man,” I said gruffly, holding out my hand.

He grasped it, squeezing tight enough to break a normal man’s hand. When I thought it was time for him to let go, he pulled me to him slightly and peered down at me.

“Dex, I know I can’t stop you two. And I know it’s not my place anymore to tell you otherwise. I don’t want to do to you what Maryse did to Rose and me. You love her and she loves you and I reckon maybe that’s just enough to even things out. You take care of Perry, ya hear? And take care of yourself.”

F*ck. I needed to get out of the room before I started having my period.

I gave him a curt nod. “See ya, Maximus.”

I left the room and walked down the hall. Perry was waiting for me.