“It’s the best I can do.”
TWO NIGHTS LATER, Charity sat on her bed as she and Josh watched a movie together. In the past forty-eight hours, she’d had dozens of opportunities to tell him she was pregnant and had chickened out each and every time.
She told herself she was looking for the perfect moment, which was a complete lie. She simply didn’t want him to know. Once he knew, everything would change and she wasn’t ready to lose him. Still, each day that went by created a problem. Withholding the information made her uncomfortable with herself. So she was going to have to suck it up and say the words.
The action on the television shifted. They were watching some kind of an international spy movie with the fate of the world resting on the shoulders of a handsome leading man. Sort of like James Bond, but without the yummy accent. The leading lady was supposed to be Russian and the bad guy was from a nameless European country.
When the bad guy’s girlfriend moved onto the screen, Josh pointed. “That’s Angelique. She made this movie right before we split up. I visited her on the set a few times.”
He spoke casually, as if sharing an interesting fact that had no consequence. Which would be the case, for anyone else. Not so much for her.
Charity had known Josh had been married to Angelique. She had a vague memory of a beautiful brunette with large eyes and huge br**sts. But that mental image wasn’t anything like the very real, very beautiful woman she watched now.
Angelique wore little more than a short nightshirt. Her legs were endlessly long and perfect. Her br**sts thrust toward the camera, her tight ni**les clearly visible beneath the thin layer of silk.
There was something about her, some indefinable element that made her watchable and appealing. Charisma, Charity thought grimly. The same as Josh.
She’d never seen a picture of the two of them together, but she had a feeling they would look as if they completely belonged with each other. No one would question what either saw in the other. It made sense.
“You were married to her?” Her words came out as a question, even though she already knew the answer.
“I told you about her.”
Oh, sure. But there was a big difference between mentioning a former wife and admitting that one had been married to a goddess-like creature.
Not that she was going to say that to him. “She’s very beautiful,” she murmured.
“I guess.” Josh stared at the screen, then shrugged. “The nose job didn’t go well. She had to get a second surgery to fix it.”
Charity raised her eyebrows. “I’m not sure you should be telling me that.”
He turned to her, his hazel-green eyes dark with concern. “I know what you think when you look at her.”
“I doubt that.”
“I know what I think. It was a long time ago. I’m not sorry it’s over.”
Wasn’t he? After all, Angelique had left him. He wanted to get back into racing, to return to his former glory. How much of that was about showing his ex-wife exactly what she’d lost? Once he was on top again, it would be his turn to do the rejecting. Or maybe he planned to get back together with her and make perfect babies together. A completely irrational thought, she told herself. No doubt brought to life by worry and surging hormones.
“Don’t go there,” he told her.
“Go where?”
“Wherever it is you are right now. I’m not interested in her. Been there, done that.”
“Bought the T-shirt?”
He grinned at her. “Uh-huh.”
She looked at him, as if seeing him for the first time. The perfect features, the easy smile, the giant ego and warm, caring heart. He was a good guy, and under other circumstances, she would be almost comfortable having fallen in love with him. Unfortunately, she was dealing with these circumstances.
“Charity?” he asked, looking concerned. “What’s wrong?”
She drew in a breath, then coughed up the truth.
“I’m pregnant.”
JOSH HAD BEEN PREPARED to hear her say she thought she was coming down with something, or the sight of Angelique was intimidating or that she had decided she hated small-town living and wanted to move to L.A.
Instead there were two words and a faint buzzing sound in his head. He felt as if all the air had been sucked from the room. He couldn’t breathe, but that was the least of it. He couldn’t think. Couldn’t figure out what she’d meant.
She gazed at him expectantly, making him aware that he was supposed to say something in response.
Pregnant? Pregnant.
There was going to be a baby. His baby.
Josh rose from the bed and stared at Charity. A sense of urgency swept through him. He couldn’t have a kid now—he wasn’t ready. He didn’t have enough of his shit together. He would screw up everything.
Time, he told himself quickly. He had a few months to get ready. To figure it out and be the kind of dad a kid deserved.