He found himself wanting to know which, nearly as much as he wanted to slowly unfasten each and every button and reveal the smooth, warm skin underneath. Just as troubling, he found himself wanting to talk to her. Just talk.
Not gonna happen, he reminded himself. At least sex was safe. But getting involved? No way.
“I like her fine,” he said.
“But?”
“She’s not my type.”
“You don’t have a type. That would require being picky.”
He raised his eyebrows.
Marsha sighed. “I didn’t mean that the way it came out. It’s just you haven’t gotten serious about anyone since Angelique. The divorce was over two years ago. It’s time to move on.”
His lack of dating or interest in dating had nothing to do with Angelique, but he wasn’t going to tell Marsha that.
“I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. You’re lonely. And don’t pretend otherwise. I’m old and you have to respect me.”
“Even when you’re wrong?”
She stared at him, her blue eyes unyielding. “Then tell me I’m wrong. Lie to me, if you can.”
He couldn’t and she knew it. “Charity’s looking for something I can’t give her.”
“Such as?”
He shrugged. “She’s not the one.”
“You can’t know that until you’ve spent some time with her.”
“Can you be bought off?”
“How much are you offering?” She shook her head. “I’ll stop pushing. At least for now. You know I care about you, right?”
“I do.” He reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “You’ve always supported me.”
“I just want you to be happy. Men don’t do well alone. You need someone in your life. I think Charity needs someone, too. She hasn’t said anything, but if I had to guess, I would say she’s coming off a bad breakup. So she would understand.”
“About the divorce?”
Marsha nodded.
What his friend didn’t get was that the problem wasn’t his divorce. That was just a symptom of everything that had gone wrong.
The truth was, he’d enjoyed a lot about the theory of being married. He was basically a homebody. Angelique had wanted to go out more nights than not, but his best times with her had been spent with just the two of them. He wanted that again—a connection, the familiarity of knowing everything about someone. He’d always thought he would be just like everyone else, with a wife and a couple of kids.
But until he fixed what was wrong inside of him, until he was whole again, he couldn’t be with anyone. He wasn’t asking to rule the world, just be the man he’d been before.
“I’ll be quiet now,” Marsha told him.
“If only that were true.”
She laughed.
Josh felt his gaze slipping over Marsha’s shoulder, where he could see Charity speaking intently with Robert.
They looked like they belonged together, like they could be a couple. Charity would be better off with someone like Robert. A regular guy without a lot of baggage. Without the ghosts that kept him always searching for an answer he could never find.
THE REST OF CHARITY’S week flew by in a blur of meetings and planning. She’d managed to set up an initial conversation with a large hospital that was thinking of expanding. She was determined to convince them that Fool’s Gold was the best possible location for them.
By late Friday she was tired and oddly restless. She tried to watch television and when that didn’t work, she went downstairs where the hotel kept a small library of DVDs. None of them appealed. On a whim, Charity went back to her room, grabbed a green hoodie and headed outside.
It was a little after nine, dark and cool, but warmer than it had been. Spring had finally arrived, chasing away the last of the below-freezing temperatures. Streetlights flooded the sidewalks and made her feel safe, as did the women she saw who were out and about. There weren’t a lot but she knew several of them by sight, if not by name.
She walked by the bookstore but Morgan was long gone. She usually saw him sweeping his front porch and stopped to talk at least a couple of times a week. Knowing he was a part of the landscape of Fool’s Gold made her feel as if she’d made the right decision to move here.
She crossed the street to walk by the park. Even in the dark she could see the shapes of the spring flowers waving slightly in the light breeze.
Tomorrow night she had a date with Robert. They were going to Margaritaville, and while she appreciated the invitation, when he’d mentioned the restaurant, all she’d been able to think about was Josh warning her about the margaritas with extra shots.
It wasn’t Robert’s fault, she reminded herself. Josh was practically larger than life, a force of nature. Someone normal and nice could easily get overlooked. She was determined to make sure that didn’t happen.