Chapter 22—Up in Flames
IT BURNS, OH, God everything burns.
I want to scream in pain but my voice is trapped, stuck inside a throat that feels like it’s been ripped to shreds and then lit on fire. Every breath I take hurts so badly that I just want to stop breathing altogether to make the pain go away. I want to open my eyes and see what the hell is going on, but every time I try to blink them open, the sting of tears blurs my vision and I quickly snap them closed.
The smell of smoke and fire is burned into my nostrils, so strong that I can’t stop the vomit from traveling up from my stomach. As I heave and cough and cry, lurching to the side to expel the bile that burns its way up my raw throat, I hear the shout of an unfamiliar voice right next to me.
“SHE’S BREATHING! Get me seventy-five cc’s of oxygen and ten milligrams of morphine.”
I feel a hand rubbing circles against my upper arm as my body is lifted up and onto what feels like a stretcher. I don’t know what’s happening. I want the pain to go away and I want Collin. Every time my body is jostled, I cry out in pain. The burning sensation on my legs and stomach is so painful that I’m certain my body is on fire.
“It’s okay, sweetie. You’re going to be okay. The medicine will kick in soon, I promise.”
I don’t recognize the voice speaking gently by my ear and I cry even harder, trying to block out the fear and the pain.
“Collin, where’s Collin? I need Collin,” I sob, the sounds of chaos surrounding me until I want to curl up into a ball and cover my ears.
“Shit, she’s asking for McDaniels,” the voice whispers.
I feel something hard and plastic pressed over my mouth and the cold air of fresh oxygen is pushed past my lips and into my lungs. I cough against the intrusion, my throat still burning in pain.
“It’s okay, sweetie, just take it nice and slow. I know it hurts.”
I want to scream at her but I don’t have the energy. She has no idea how much it hurts, no idea how much I want to claw and scratch at my own skin just to ease the burning. I feel a pinch in my upper arm and, seconds later, my thoughts begin to grow hazy and even more confusing.
“Collin, I need Collin,” I slur as the pain in my legs and torso slowly starts to disappear.
I feel myself being lifted again and the sound of doors slamming shut, the noise and shouts of people from moments ago immediately cut off. I drift in and out of consciousness, hearing soft voices and the muffled sound of a siren every so often.
“… no way he survived that fall. Did you see the way the house crumbled? I’m surprised D.J. was able to walk away considering he was still on the ladder when it fell.”
I try to force my mind to pay attention when I hear D.J.’s name but whatever they gave me is too strong. My brain is foggy and I can feel myself slowly going under.
“There’s no way McDaniels is still alive. No one could have survived a drop like that.”
As the darkness pulls me further and further away from reality, the blessed relief I should feel since my skin is no longer on fire is erased by the knowledge that I’ve lost him. My sweet, beautiful man is gone.
Gone before I could tell him I love him.
Gone before I could spend the rest of my life showing him just how much.
With one last sob before I let the oblivion consume me, I realize my life is over. I don’t want to live one second on this earth if Collin isn’t here with me. I don’t care what happens to me, I don’t care if the pain returns and swallows me whole. I don’t care about anything but escaping from this hell and being with the man who saved me.