Brady Remington Landed Me in Jail

He broke, "I can't. I just…"

"You are such a hypocrite!" I screamed and then I grabbed the first thing I saw. I threw my pillow at him. When it bounced off him and he didn't deflect it, I threw the other one. Then I threw my blankets, a book, and I caught the frame in my hand. I reared back, ready to throw it, but stopped myself. I stopped with my chest heaving and stared at it in my hand.

He allowed me to breathe that day and now it was all gone.

When I looked up, I didn't care what Brady saw in my eyes. My heart was broken. "Get out. Get out. Get out!"

"Rayna, come on…"

"Out!" I screamed again and this time I chucked the picture frame at him. He ducked and it shattered against the door.

I fell on the bed. The pain was so strong. I didn't notice when Brady left until I finally looked up and only saw my grandmother. She held a hand to her chest and watched me in concern. I could barely stomach her concern, not now, not after everything she'd lied to me about.

It was then that I asked, "So is Frank Stephens my father…or Brady's?"

I sat there for a full minute; of course it was probably only a few seconds, but it felt like an hour. My grandmother stared aghast while I sat there, tear drenched. I felt like I was facing death. The idea of Brady and me being kin…or more…I shuddered and clamped my hands closed.

It was the only thing that made sense.

"Whose father is he because with the way you're acting, he's got to be one of our dads. So who is it?" I sounded firm, but my insides were turning inside and out. When I felt vomit come up my throat, I closed my eyes tightly and forced it back down. I couldn't go there…I couldn't deal with that….not knowing…

Finally I heard, "He's Brady's."

She whimpered like she was ashamed. I was disgusted and I turned away.

I took a breath.

"And me? Who's my father?" I'd never been told. I barely even knew my mother and I'd never asked. I wanted to know, but if it meant what I feared it meant I knew no amount of vomiting could empty my insides. I loved Brady. I loved him so much and if those words that she might utter passed through her lips…. I sat there paralyzed. They were the hardest words I've ever had to wait for.

Viola whispered, "I don't know who your father is."

"Explain." I didn't blink. I didn't ponder. I needed to know.

"Your mother was one of the most devout girls I've ever known. I was almost ashamed."

I shot to my feet and exclaimed, "I don't want to hear this! I want to hear who my father is!"

"I'm trying to tell you. I have to explain, Rayna. I've got to explain it all or it won't make any sense."

The need sat on me as if it was a separate entity.

Viola kept going, painfully, "You know I'm not no religion nut. Neither is your granddad, but he believes. I don't know what I did right, or maybe what I did wrong, but your momma grew up going to church. She wanted it. She asked every Sunday to go there. We went, but when she could drive, she drove herself. That was how it was."

She took a breath.

"I have never claimed to be the best mother. Ever. But with your mother…she was a lot like you. I felt like she raised me. I don't know what genes you girls got, but what's done is done. She ain't anything like me. She grew up going to church. She planned for the future. Leann liked bake sales. I have no idea why and then…" She drew in a quaking breath. "He came along. He was young. He was good looking. He was rich. He was on the rise."

"Frank Stephens?" There was nothing in me when I said his name, my possible father. I almost loathed him.

Viola nodded. "When Frank first hit the scene, he was dashing. I'll admit. He had a charisma about him. And he was funny. He could charm anyone. I was a bit taken with him myself, but that's all an old lady does. She looks at what might've been without a few years attached, but it don't matter. It all changed when he met Leann. Of course, he was married by then. Newly married, but he wasn't the marrying sorts. Everyone knew it."

My fingers pressed into my hands. Blood seeped from them.

My grandmother continued, "He took one look at her and thought he had the granddaddy of all challenges. Truthfully, I don't know who won that battle. Leann had stopped talking to me by then. She wanted to grow up in the church. I wasn't having none of it. I wanted her to live. I wanted her to have babies. I wanted her to laugh, to cry, to get her heart broken. I wanted her not to have any regrets when she reached my age, but it didn't matter. She was so stubborn and the two of us didn't see eye to eye."