CHAPTER Twenty-Three
I had no idea what it was Corrigan wanted to say. It was possible that he was so horribly embarrassed that he’d given so much of himself away on the shore of Loch Ness, he wanted to make it very clear to me it had been an aberration which wouldn’t be repeated. I had no doubt a very large part of him still hated me for what I’d done to him.
He didn’t speak, however. We travelled the entire way to Hampstead Heath in the back of his ostentatiously gleaming limousine in silence. I was excruciatingly aware of his proximity. Every time his body moved even slightly, I held my breath, wondering whether he was going to start speaking. But he still didn’t. And nothing had really changed anyway – Endor was still out there, threateningly at large, and I was still the head of the council and beholden to the promise I’d made to stay impartial by maintaining only a platonic business relationship with him.
The car pulled up outside the entrance to the sprawling park. My legs felt like dead weights, but I forced myself to get out. The pair of us began walking towards the copse of trees where Atlanteia’s habitat was located. An owl hooted overhead, and the skitterings of potential prey could be heard rustling in the bushes which lined the path. Other than that, there were no sounds.
“I was so angry at you,” he said, suddenly.
I closed my eyes briefly. “I know. I didn’t want it to happen like that. I wanted to explain it to you first. I just didn’t get the chance.”
“All you’ve ever done is fight against authority and be independent. You don’t do what other people tell you to. All I could believe was that the idea to drop me had come from you.” He scowled. “So you could put yourself in the position of council head. Leader of every Otherworld group.”
“That’s not how it happened. And that’s not what my job is.”
I stopped and turned to look at him, inwardly pleading with him to understand.
“Yeah, I’ve spent a lot of time saying f*ck off to anyone who’s tried to tell me what to do. And look where it’s gotten me. I’ve got no-one. I’m not part of a pack, or the Ministry, or anything.”
He scoffed. “You’re kidding, right? You’re best friends with a faerie, a shifter, a mage, a Scottish bookshop owner and a f*cking ex-vampire. I’m the Brethren Lord, Mack, I don’t get to have friends.”
“I’m not friends with an ex-vampire any more,” I said, fresh pain twisting inside me.
Corrigan’s face filled with empathy. It hurt too much to think about so I returned to the previous topic.
“Why not?” I asked.
“Why not what?”
“Why don’t you get to have friends?”
“Well, I’m hardly going to be best mates with a faerie or a mage, am I? You know things don’t work like that. And I can’t be friends with the shifters because I’m their f*cking boss. I can’t tell them all my worries and troubles one minute, then tell them off the next.”
I smiled faintly. “So what you’re saying is that in order to be a responsible leader, you need to keep your distance.” I threw my arms out in a gesture of exasperation. “What do you think I’ve been doing?”
He blinked at me, then nodded slowly with the light of final comprehension.
“And the three groups are working together in a way that I don’t think has ever happened before.” His voice was soft. He reached out and gently caressed my cheek with his thumb. “I’m sorry for what I said to you before about never wanting to see you again. I was hurting.”
I knew how much it cost him to say that, but I pulled away. “Nothing’s changed, Corrigan. We still can’t be together. I made a promise.”
He watched me carefully. “If we defeat Endor…”
I thought of the bloodsuckers, and the looming threat of Bolux’s descendants, and swallowed.
“What about the girl?”
He looked confused. ‘What girl?”
“You know. The blonde. The one who called you Corr.” I struggled to keep the jealousy out of my voice, but didn’t quite succeed.
“I was hoping that if I was seen publicly with other women, it would get back to you. The one time that being in this position and being photographed constantly seemed like a good thing.” He appeared momentarily shamefaced. “It was petty. But nothing happened, kitten.”
I stared into his eyes. He was telling the truth. And, let’s face it, I was guilty of my own petty actions too.
“You’re in my head and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get you out no matter how hard I try, no matter what stupid shit you pull.” He ran a hand through his hair, then shrugged. “I’m in love with you. I think a part of me has been from that very first time when I saw you sparring with Tom on the beach in Cornwall. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. Because of you and who you are, Mack. Not for any other reason.” There was an odd expression on his face. “It’s important you know that.”
I could hear my heart beating and I had to squeeze my fingers together into fists to stop them from shaking.
“I love you too,” I said simply.
We both stood there, just looking at each other, neither of us touching. A light breeze picked up and floated past; a night bird screeched off in the distance, and the moon hung heavily in the sky, watching everything. Time stopped.
Eventually I broke the reverie.
“Come on,” I said, “let’s find out what Atlanteia wants.”
He nodded, and we began to walk again, slower this time, as if not wanting anything to ruin the mood. Unfortunately, we arrived at her tree far too quickly. The dryad was already there, visible and waiting.
She raised her eyebrows at me. “You brought company.”
“He was there too, Atlanteia. At Haughmond Hill.” I was still nervous about what she was going to say, even though my bloodfire was singing at what had only just passed between Corrigan and me. I licked my lips. “You can trust him.”
The dryad stared at him assessingly, then finally inclined her head. “You should have visited before.”
“I…” Damn it. This was a night of truth, not of evasion. “I was afraid,” I said. “I killed one of your own.”
“As did I,” said Corrigan by my side.
Her eyes were filled with sadness. “I know. I also know there was no choice. Your actions, as terrible as they were, saved us all.”
“I’m sorry.”
I hung my head, and looked down at the ground. Atlanteia floated silently over, her bare feet making no impression at all on the soft ground. She reached out one long elegant arm, and touched me under my chin, raising my head back up.
“You did well, Mackenzie Smith. There is no censure, only gratitude.”
A lump rose in my throat.
“We would like to repay your kindness in helping us.”
I shook my head. “No. There’s no need, really. I don’t want anything.”
The corners of her green tinged lips crooked upwards. “You’ll want this,” she said softly. “Remember, the trees see everything. They know what happens and they don’t forget. They know where your mother is.”
I bit my lip, hard. “She’s dead.”
Corrigan shot me a quick look. Atlanteia nodded.
“She is. Her final resting place is in Penzance. There is a small cemetery on a hill. You will find her there.”
“She’s in Cornwall?”
The dryad’s answering glance was filled with sympathy. “She did not get far after she left you there.”
Pain tightened my chest and the pleasant warmth of my bloodfire turned into an angry burn. “They caught her.”
She nodded. “They did.”
“She wasn’t a Draco Wyr,” I said through gritted teeth. “There was no reason to do that.”
“By sacrificing herself she kept you safe.” Atlanteia blinked slowly. “You and your brother.”
I stared at her. Corrigan stiffened.
“He was with your father.”
“My father?” The words exploded out of me. “Is he…?”
Atlanteia shook her head. “No. He died years ago in a bar fight. Your brother was placed with a foster family. Humans. We do not believe he knows what he is.”
“Where is he now?”
“He lives in Windsor.”
“That’s so close,” I whispered.
She nodded. “Would you like the address?”
I looked at Corrigan, and he looked back at me. Then I turned back to Atlanteia.
“Yes.”
“There is also one other thing.”
My stomach dropped. One other thing? What more could there possibly be?
“The Voice,” Atlanteia said softly, glancing at Corrigan rather than me. “It can be turned off.”
My brow crinkled. I had no idea what she meant. Corrigan, however, smiled suddenly and nodded.
“Er, hello? What does that mean?”
“He knows.”
“He knows what?” My eyes narrowed. “Corrigan…”
“It’s okay,” he said, keeping his attention on the dryad. “I’ll tell you later.”
Hold on a f*cking minute. I didn’t like being kept out of the loop.
“Relax, kitten,” he murmured. “It’ll keep for now. Let’s go and find your long lost brother.”
A wave of nervous panic hit me. Shit, this was real.
“Okay,” I squeaked.
*
We arrived in Windsor not long after dawn had broken. The castle, majestic and proud, was bathed in orange and red and gleamed over the entire town like a watchful and protective parent. Corrigan’s driver wended his way through the silent streets before finally pulling up outside a row of terraced houses. The only thing remarkable about them was their ordinariness.
From the car I stared at the house my twin brother apparently occupied. F*ck. I was more terrified than I thought I’d ever been. Give me a thousand necromancers over this.
“It’s six o’clock in the morning,” Corrigan commented. “Do you want to knock on the door?”
“It’s too early,” I said. “I don’t want to wake him up.”
“You don’t have to do this, you know. We can drive straight back to London.”
I was very tempted. I’d lived this long without knowing him and I could always come back another day. Except I had Endor to deal with. And the vamps. Corrigan touched me lightly on the hand as if to reassure me. Shit. What I was going to tell him about them? I had a funny feeling that just dropping into conversation that they were on the verge of making sure I ended up very dead wouldn’t go down too well.
“No,” I said finally. “Let’s just sit here for a while.”
The pair of us watched the house. There were no signs of movement.
“How could he not know what he is? He must have some inkling that he’s different.” I could boast better fighting skills than most Otherworlders. I could call up green fire at my fingertips. I could transform into a f*cking dragon, for goodness sake.
“You grew up in a pack. You know what kind of creatures are out there in the world. If he’s grown up thinking he’s human then why it would it occur to him to wonder otherwise? Maybe there’s a reason why no Draco Wyr have been heard of for centuries. Maybe even they don’t know what they are themselves.”
“Someone knew. My mother knew.”
Corrigan shrugged. “She didn’t tell you though. Your old alpha knew, didn’t he? He didn’t tell you.”
Secrets upon secrets upon secrets.
“Would things be better for you if you didn’t know?” he asked quietly. “Would you be happier?”
“You can’t undo what’s already been done. You can’t unknow what you already know,” I said. “I have no clue.”
I looked back at the house, trying to get an idea of the person who lived inside it from its exterior. It seemed well kept. There was a tidy little garden at the front, and heavily draped curtains covering the front windows.
“Mack,” Corrigan said, with a tense note in his voice that made me glance back at him. “There’s something you need to know.”
That sounded ominous. “What?”
He swallowed. Shit, Corrigan was nervous?
“It was what I actually wanted to talk to you about before,” he said.
“What is it?”
“I realised you didn’t know when you communicated with me from Loch Ness.”
I was starting to feel alarmed. “Corrigan, tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong.” He sighed. “I hope you’ll think that anyway.”
He was not making me feel any better. He had better hurry the f*ck up and tell me what was going on.
“Look. You remember at Haughmond Hill when we…” he paused for a beat, “when we made love?”
As if I’d forget. I nodded slowly.
“We didn’t use anything. Any protection. It was dumb, I know.” He gave me a little smile. “I guess we got carried away in the moment.”
I watched him. If this was where he told me I now had some sexually transmitted disease because he slept around a lot, there was going to be fire.
“I’ve always been careful in the past. You make me lose all reason, kitten.”
He still wasn’t getting to the f*cking point.
“You used the Brethren address to have some materials sent. From the NHS. We have a secretary who opens all post as a matter of course unless specifically requested to do otherwise. She opened a letter that was addressed to you and then passed it over to me.”
The blood tests. I’d forgotten all about that.
“I don’t care if it’s not even mine,” he said, looking into my eyes. “I meant what I said. I love you. No matter what.”
A dulled realisation was beginning to hit me.
“No,” I whispered.
“You gave blood and the NHS tested it. They were very comprehensive with their findings. You don’t have anaemia or anything like that.”
Oh God. The strange hot feeling I’d been carrying around in my stomach for days. The increased vomiting whenever I used a portal. The cryptic comments made by Mrs. Alcoon.
Corrigan scanned my face. Don’t say it. Please don’t say it.
“You’re pregnant.”
I forgot to breathe. I stared at him and my hands involuntarily went to my stomach. From somewhere outside a door banged. Corrigan’s eyes went past me, widening fractionally. I turned to see what it was and realised that the door to my brother’s house was open. There was a red haired man standing in the threshold. A woman, looking sleepy, appeared, giving him a peck on the cheek. Shouts came from within and then a small, equally red haired, boy appeared, hugging the man’s legs. He grinned and ruffled his son’s hair. The woman scooped up the boy while a similarly sized girl ran out into the garden, giggling. Twins. I watched while the couple leaned in again and kissed, lingering this time. The tenderness between the two of them was patently clear.
“He’s so happy,” I said softly to myself. “Beedebopdelooolah.”
I kept my eyes on my brother as he ambled towards a parked car, unlocked it and waved towards his family. He was so relaxed. There was an ease to his manner which suggested he knew nothing of wild tempers and crazy dragons. I knew nothing about him but I could tell from just looking that this was someone who was contented. Someone who was at peace with the world and their place in it. Maybe he had my bloodfire and maybe he didn’t. But even if he did, he obviously kept it well under control. Fire wasn’t his life in the way that it was mine.
I blinked away tears. My twin brother got into his car and drove away, while the woman and two children headed back inside.
“Mack,” Corrigan began.
I looked back at him. “I have to go.”
“Mack, wait.”
I shook my head and wrenched the door handle. “I need to be on my own.”
And then I was outside and running.