Veryl. Yes, that was something coming up quickly on my to do list. Licking the blood from my lips and fingertips, I slipped back into the shadows and made my way back to my car. The rush of what I’d just done had me soaring, and I regretted how quickly it had all happened. I recognized the vampire’s need to draw it out, to enjoy every second. My victim had gotten off lucky, this time.
I knew I should have been afraid of how close I was walking to the blood madness I found so repulsive in the vampires of The Wicked Kiss. I wasn’t. I had too many other things to fear.
As I basked in the metaphysical ecstasy, I was numb to the emotional turmoil that I’d sought escape from. Perfect. Turning my emotions off was the only way I could get through the next day or so without coming apart. Telling myself things could be worse did nothing to make me believe it. If I let myself think about it, I saw Shaz with that vampire bitch, and it threatened to bring me down.
The afterglow of the kill enveloped me in a safe, warm circle of energy that danced with the promise of sanctity. Nothing could hurt me if I stayed wrapped inside this feeling. It made sense when I applied it to both Arys and Kale. They sought escape from the pain of raw emotion in their kills. But, if that soon became the only way to find freedom, was it not just a different form of imprisonment?
Muttering a few obscenities under my breath, I decided pondering the depth of it all was a waste of the amazing power high I was riding. My limbs felt light and floaty. My keen senses were finer tuned than usual if that were possible. The sounds of the city’s dark side was filled with the occasional squeal of tires, loud voices and far off shrieks. The creatures of the night wore many faces and forms. I was just one of so many.
As I drove through the slums, watching it slip away to better neighborhoods, I expected to feel guilt or shame. I felt nothing. By the time I sat in my car in The Wicked Kiss parking lot, I was certain I’d just rid myself of the last part of me that had been human.
I wrestled with the decision to go inside. The black Camaro a few spaces away taunted me as surely as it had my adrenaline pumping. I wasn’t ready to confront Kale. I knew I never would be. If I didn’t feel such obligation to this hell hole, I would consider leaving and never coming back. If only.
The moment I crossed the threshold into the club I felt Kale’s gaze land upon me, and I just needed one stiff drink. I headed straight for the bar. I waited for Josh to slide me a whiskey, doing all I could to avoid looking when I felt Kale sidle up beside me.
The whiskey hit my bloodstream and quickly paled in comparison to the rush of blood and death. I shoved the empty glass away and turned to Kale, expecting to pass out from the nerves.
The burning emotion in his eyes said more than words. It tested my resolve and urged me to give in to the promise of the comfort that I knew I could find in him. Wanting someone this bad wasn’t right. Not when you couldn’t really have them.
“I shouldn’t have run out on you the other night. I hope you can forgive me for that. I’ve been kicking myself ever since. It was selfish.” The atmosphere grew intense. Kale’s energy was running hot.
I fidgeted with a strand of my hair, feeling the anxious need to keep my hands busy. “It was smart. I don’t blame you. Really.”
“It was chicken shit. I should have stayed.” Kale grabbed my hand and slipped his fingers between mine. The undying hunger I had for him flared to life. “I didn’t want this to happen, Alexa. I didn’t mean to fall in love with you. But, it’s too late for that now.”
“Kale, don’ t… we don’t need to do this right now.” I choked on my guilt; I seemed to have so much of it these days.
“I know you’ll never love me the way I want you to. But, I know you feel something for me. And whatever that is, I need to know. I think you owe me that much.”
What was it about Kale that brought me to my knees? He was one of the strongest people I knew, having survived more than most could dream of. All he had to do was turn those passion-filled eyes on me, and I became weak.
“I owe you more than that. I’m so confused … so much is going on, and I’m starting to feel like I’ve reached my limit on how much I can take. I want to escape, and the only way I know how is by giving in. Giving in to you, to the bloodlust … I see everyone around me doing the same, and I can’t take anymore.”
The emotion burst forth as the place deep inside where I tried to bottle it up reached capacity. I wanted to cry, but I refused to let the blood tears fall. Screw that.
Kale touched the faded bruise outlining my left eye. With a shuddery breath, I drank in the comfort of his soothing touch.
“Sometimes fighting so hard to make everything right is what brings you down in the end.” Pulling me against him, Kale murmured into my hair. “Some things have to happen, and you have to learn to let them.”