CHAPTER 38
REID
I can’t f*cking believe this night.
First, the text from John—the rumors online concerning Emma, Graham and myself. Since I don’t usually do exclusive relationships, the speculation about Emma has been crazed since it became apparent that I was more interested in her than my usual catch-and-release pattern. If the tabloids can’t get confirmation of a relationship, they invent it. And then they try to dig up any evidence of infidelity they can find.
I do not let this shit get to me. I don’t. But this is the first time since Brooke that I’ve been in this position—in a relationship of sorts with someone who might be screwing around.
I’d just danced with Emma and turned her over to Tadd, who’s in better shape to dance at the moment. Chatting distractedly with some of the minor characters and a few of the extras who found out where we were going tonight, I watched her dance, the way she moved, the way she looked over every few minutes to see if I was still watching her. Her shy smile when she saw that I was. Everything was on track for this night to be mind-blowing.
Brooke was a bit wasted, sitting at the bar a few feet away, with Graham. I ignored her. Until.
“Excuse me—Mr. Alexander?” the bartender said behind me.
I turned. “Yeah?” He handed me a screwdriver, which I definitely hadn’t ordered. “What’s this?”
He pointed at Brooke, who blew me a kiss. Undeniably wasted. I picked up the drink, walked the few steps to her. “Um, thanks? But I think you’d enjoy this more than I would.”
Her expression turned almost pouty. “You liked them at one time.”
I narrowed my eyes, wondering at her game. Graham sat silently on the other side of her, staring into his drink, his lips pursed. “Oh? When was that?”
“I shouldn’t be surprised that you don’t remember.”
Oh, I remember all right. Not long before our breakup, Brooke smuggled a bottle of vodka into my house in her bag. “Let’s get some OJ and make screwdrivers,” she whispered. I made a show of making popcorn in the microwave while she grabbed two large plastic cups and half-filled them with orange juice and ice cubes, and we told my parents we were going to watch a movie in the media room as we disappeared into my wing of the house.
An hour later, we were completely hammered, giggling and all over each other. We’d been aware of little but each other that night, and we were reckless in every possible way. Why she’d want to remind me of that night—with Graham right next to her—was incomprehensible.
“Is there some reason you expect me to remember drinking screwdrivers with you, Brooke?”
She stared, while under the surface, both of us popped and snapped with tension. She was a live wire, dangerous and unstable, and some presentiment pushed forward, telling me to beware. In a flash of idiocy, I discounted it. “Only because of what came from it,” she answered.
That’s the point my eyes flicked over to catch Graham closing his eyes, breathing out a sigh. He turned, his hand on her forearm. “Brooke. Let’s go back to the hotel.”
“I want him to remember. Just tonight. Just once.” That was when I knew she’d told him.
I leaned towards her. “So you’re saying you know exactly when? Please. I doubt you really even know exactly who.”
She slipped off the barstool, fists clenched, livid and not as sloppy drunk as I’d assumed. “You bastard—”
Graham stepped in front of her. “That’s uncalled for,” he said to me, his hand on her, keeping her just behind him, as though I’d hurt her if I was too close.
All of us spoke quietly, hyper aware of the fact that we were in public. Even still, I was pissed at the condescension in his tone. “This is none of your goddamned business.”
“As her friend, I’m making it my business. Just back off.”
“Friend? Right. Does Brooke know you’ve been running in the mornings with Emma, and who knows what else? That you’re trying to have your cake and eat it, too?” The way I said this left no doubt as to my meaning. “At least I’m only after one girl.” I gestured towards the dance floor.
Graham glanced in that direction. “I will kick your ass if you hurt Emma. Don’t think for one second that I won’t.”
Okay. Confusing, right in front of Brooke. “My relationship with Emma is definitely none of your business.”
At that, Brooke took off for the lounge. I threw back the tequila shot the bartender had lined up at my spot and went after her. Graham followed me, but I didn’t give a shit. I had to know if she’d told him, though I knew she had. Our conversation in the bathroom confirmed it. When I shoved the door open minutes later, he was standing just outside the door, his jaw clenched. I saluted him and walked straight back to the bar, scanning the floor for Emma.
*** *** ***
Emma
I have no idea how I manage to get out of the club and hail a taxi without being stopped by anyone, but I do. As I reach for the door handle, Graham is there, opening the door for me.
“Emma? Are you okay?”
I shake my head, wiping the tears off of my face.
“Get in,” he says gruffly, and I obey, folding myself into the back seat and scooting across when it becomes clear he’s getting in with me. My face hurts from trying to prevent myself from sobbing, and I turn towards the window as he gives the driver the hotel name.
We don’t say another word during the drive back, though he takes my hand, pulls me into his arms while I cry. My mind is pure chaos. I’ve just left Reid with no explanation, not even a goodbye, and I can’t imagine what I’m going to say to him. Can I do what Brooke suggested, and just use him the way she thinks he wants to use me? Hardly. I picture Emily telling me that using Reid Alexander to lose my virginity would be the most mind-blowing way I could possibly lose it.
At least I’m not in love with him. My disillusionment over the not-so-perfect Reid Alexander is the finishing touch to a miserable week. Disappointed and shocked? Definitely. Broken-hearted? No.
The loss of him can’t compare to how much it hurts to have lost my best friend. I close my eyes as fresh tears course down my face and drip from my chin. I can’t bear the way I miss her. Like a missing limb. Like the quiet voice of conscience. Like hunger.
“Emma,” Graham says as we pull up to the curb and he pays the driver. “Stay close.” I wonder about his directive for two seconds, and then the flashes start. He draws me close and swiftly heads for the door as a couple of security people rush out to usher us inside. The stories tomorrow should be fascinating. Luckily, I don’t care.
When we get upstairs, he glances at Brooke’s door as we pass it, and I know that’s where he wants to be. I hope she realizes what she’s got. He’s nothing like Reid. I can’t believe I ever thought to compare them.
Shoving the key card into the door, I say, “Thank you. Go… take care of her. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” His concern is so sweet it almost hurts.
I nod, and he takes my chin in his hand and examines my face. I close my eyes, knowing I must be a total mess. “You’re going to be okay, Emma. You’re stronger than you know.” His voice is soft but sure, and I nod again. He kisses my forehead gently and turns away.
My phone buzzes as soon as I get into my room. When I check the screen, there are two missed calls and four messages, all from Reid. I slump onto the bed and scroll through them.
Reid: Where are you? Are you still here somewhere?
Reid: missed call
Reid: missed call
Reid: Seriously, you disappear and then don’t answer? I’m worried, call me back.
Reid: Jenna said she saw you talking to brooke. Gonna ask my side or just listen to her?
Reid: K. I get it. Call me back in 5 or i have to assume we’re over.
It’s been two minutes since the last text. I lie on the bed and watch the clock tick away the final three minutes of his ultimatum, and then turn onto my back.
I don’t care if it’s absurd to reject what might be a fantasy for every other girl in the world—losing my virginity with someone like Reid Alexander. I don’t care if it’s old-fashioned to hold out for losing it with someone who matters. Maybe once that someone breaks my heart, I won’t give a crap who I sleep with. Maybe I’ll look back on this moment and think I was the biggest moron in the state of Texas.
My God, Emily would kill me.