Chapter Four
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MY FIRST WEEK IN THE APARTMENT was a bit sketchy. The night I signed the papers I went home to tell my mom and sister I was moving out. My mom didn’t have much to say. I think she realized what was in store for her, and her partying and days of relying on me so much were going to be nonexistent. She looked at me, simply said, “I hope you’re happy,” and walked away. I wasn’t sure how to take those four words. She was either being flippant and snarky, or she was sad and didn’t know what else to say. Sarah, on the other hand, didn’t take the news well at all. She cried and ran into my arms. As sad as it was, I explained to her that I was an adult, and I needed to be out on my own. I made sure she knew that she could come see me anytime she wanted, and she could have a sleepover if she missed me too much. When I told her that, my thoughts drifted to Camden, and I mentally high-fived myself. His little rules didn’t include no sleepovers with little sisters, so take that to the bank. I brought her over to see it a couple days later. Mom didn’t want to come, which was fine, and thankfully Camden was out. Sarah fell in love. She ran all over the place and dove onto the couch. I laughed at her silly lightheartedness. She was going to be fine, and I planned on bringing her over as much as possible.
I found out after a couple of days living here that Camden was a gym owner. I’d gone over and over in my head how a college student could possibly afford to live here and ask so little for my portion of the rent. I chalked it up to the same situation as Macie. I figured Mommy and Daddy paid for everything. I was very much off my mark. I never pegged Camden as being a business owner, and it turned out he wasn’t a college student. I would question him about it, but he was hardly ever home. And when he was, he never had much to say. I had scolded myself those first few times when I heard the front door open, and my heart would pick up its pace, knowing who it would be. What he said to Dodger that first day was etched into my memory, ‘the chubby one’. I hated that I found him attractive, but any attraction I felt for him faded quickly when he brought a girl home and had flaunted her right in front of me. Unfortunately she wasn’t the first one, either. Like all the others, she was the exact opposite of me. Where I was just over five-foot-tall, she was statuesque at around five-foot-ten. My hair was long, wavy, and blond, while hers was short and jet black. I was slightly on the more curvy side, but this chick was stick thin. He walked in, and her hand was in his back pocket, following slightly behind him. I had been sitting on the couch studying for a history exam when they had stopped in the kitchen. He went to the fridge and began digging around for something. When he turned around he had a can of whipped cream and a bottle of wine. He gave her a sexy smirk, and she giggled at him. Camden handed her the items and opened the cupboard that had the wine glasses. That was when she finally turned in my direction and saw me sitting there, watching them. Her eyebrows rose as though slightly startled.
“Who’s she?” the woman asked. Her tone was confused and slightly put off.
Camden had two glasses in his hand as he faced where she was looking. He looked at me, his brown eyes boring into mine and replied, “Nobody, just my roommate.”
She accepted his answer as all the explanation she needed. They both made their way upstairs to his room, and I heard the door close. I didn’t need much of an imagination to know what was going to happen. I sat there playing his words over in my head. I was nobody? He hadn’t even bothered to try to get to know me. How could I possibly be nobody? Was I that offensive to him? The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. Instead of extending any olive branches to him, I’d be more than happy to be ‘just the roommate’. No friendship was required for our living arrangements. I’d hoped I could be friends with him, but it seemed that he wasn’t interested. Closing my book, I picked up my stuff and went upstairs. Shutting my door quietly, I thanked the wall gods for making ours a little thicker than normal apartments. I couldn’t fathom having to hear them getting it on. I’d probably puke.
Flopping down on my air mattress, I curled under the covers. I looked around the still very empty space of my room. I was able to buy some curtains to cover the window, and a mirror to lean against the wall, but any other purchases would have to wait. I’d like to get an actual bed, because this blow-up bed was hurting my back, but it wasn’t a priority right now. What I needed was a laptop so I could do my school work from home, a dresser, and some hangers for my clothes. Then I’d get a bed. I figured it would take me a few months to make all of the purchases, but I was okay with that. It would be mine, something that I would have worked hard for and paid for with my own money. For now, this would have to do.
Lying there I ended up deciding that I’d live here like I was the only person. When my rent was due, I’d leave it on the counter, along with any of my other bills that needed to be paid. I would go out tomorrow and buy a lock for my door, so I could ensure that I had the privacy that I required. I didn’t need any of Camden’s bimbos wandering into my room thinking they could take whatever they wanted. I’d also keep any communication with him to a minimum. If I was nothing to him, then he’d be nothing to me. Feeling more settled in my plans, I scooted further down into my uncomfortable bed and drifted off to sleep.
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The next day I woke up and took a deep breath in as I stretched my arms above my head. I smelled something that made my stomach growl. What was that, bacon? I got out of bed and rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands. Throwing on my ratted pale yellow robe, I went downstairs. I was sure my hair was all over the place, but since I’d decided I no longer cared about Camden and what he thought of me, it didn’t matter what I looked like. As I hit the bottom step, I saw him in the kitchen with his back turned, and he was flipping eggs in a pan. He either heard me or sensed me because he turned around and saw me standing there. The chick who looked like a model was nowhere in sight. I wondered if he made her go home last night after he was done with her. It wouldn’t surprise me. I squirmed a bit at Camden’s perusal of me. His eyes went from my messy hair and traveled the length of my body, taking in the robe and my bare legs that showed. Wherever his eyes touched felt like a caress against my skin. Why was he looking at me like that? I shook my head. I was sure he was wondering how he got stuck with someone like me for a roommate. My appearance was less than fabulous this morning.
Unsure what to do, at first, I stood there chewing on my lower lip. I liked his eyes on me, but I also hated what I knew he saw and thought. He looked like he’d already run a marathon, or whatever the hell he did in the mornings. His hair was sticking up every which way, and he was wearing a black shirt with the sleeves torn off. His tanned arms flexed like they knew someone was watching. His blue shorts were long and went to his knees, the mesh material forming over parts of him that I shouldn’t be thinking about right now. Straightening my back, I moved forward toward the kitchen. Do not go there Keegan. Coffee was on my mind, and there was a fresh pot already brewed. I stepped around Camden as he stood in front of the stove and went to the cupboard that held the coffee mugs.
“Morning,” he said, his voice deeper than normal. I gripped the mug tighter.
I didn’t turn to look at him, nor did I reciprocate his greeting. I went to the coffee pot and filled my mug. Opening the fridge I grabbed the milk and poured a few splashes. The canister of sugar was next to the fridge, and I put two teaspoons in my cup and began stirring. I felt Camden’s eyes on my back, but I refused to look at him.
I heard him sigh and then he said, “I’ve made breakfast. Whole wheat toast, egg whites, and turkey bacon. I’ll put your plate on the breakfast bar.” I heard the clink of the plate as he set it down.
If he was waiting for an acknowledgement from me, he wasn’t going to get one. I was shocked he even thought to make me a plate. Then again, with what he made, he was probably trying to put me on a diet thinking I wouldn’t notice...or he poisoned it. Screw him. Despite my growling stomach I took my mug and started walking out of the kitchen. I’d get breakfast in town on my way to get Sarah. She was coming over to spend the day with me, and we were going to veg on the couch.
“You’re seriously not going to eat?” he asked before I could start upstairs.
This time I did turn to look at him. “Why cook me anything? I’m just the roommate right? Cook for yourself.” With that, I went upstairs. A few seconds after I closed the bathroom door, I heard a crash, and the front door slammed. Fantastic…I pissed the grizzly off.
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After getting showered and dressed I headed downstairs. I looked in the sink as I passed by. The plate of food he made me was dumped and broken into a few large pieces. Sighing I took the broken glass out and threw them away, then shoved the food down the disposal. I wanted to feel bad for what I said to Camden, but I couldn’t. He needed a lesson on how to treat people, and I refused to be uncomfortable in my own home.
I’d gone to get Sarah after cleaning up the mess, and we’d picked up a few movies from the store as well as a bag full of candy. I had a serious sweet tooth, and I had yet to find an eight-year-old who didn’t have the same problem. She wanted to watch Despicable Me first. Popping the movie in, the previews were just starting when the front door opened. Dodger came walking in, and he got a load of the candy spread on the coffee table. He smiled big.
“Hey girls, whatcha doing?”
Dodger had already met my sister, and they got along well. “Watching a movie, wanna watch it with us?” Sarah asked.
He nodded.
“You can have Keegan’s Laffy Taffy, but you can’t have my Nerds. I don’t share those.”
He laughed and ruffled her wild curls as he sat down beside her. “I’m actually eyeballing those Snickers.”
She gave him a hard face. “You can have one but no more.”
“Fine, one is plenty. But what about the other candy?”
“Are you kidding? You eat more than that candy bar you’ll have a tummy ache!”
“Well, then I’d better just stick to the one.” He smiled at her.
I was grinning at their exchange. Dodger was very much like a kid. His carefree attitude and fun spirit was exactly why I loved having him over all the time. I saw him more than I saw Camden. I really wished it would have been him who lived here. The three of us watched the movie together and laughed when I did impersonations of Steve Carrell’s voice. When it was over, I put in the next one and let Sarah start it. I took advantage of her zoning out and grabbed a bag from the counter and headed up to my bedroom door. I’d bought a new door handle that had a lock on it so I could lock it from the outside. I’d assumed Dodger had fallen asleep when I started the next movie, but apparently I’d been wrong. I heard him behind me clearing his throat.
“What are you doing?”
I startled. “Gah! Could you not sneak up on me like that? I have a screwdriver in my hand.”
He smirked. “I see that. What’s wrong with the doorknob that was already on there?”
I looked at him for a few seconds before turning back to the task at hand. “I’m changing them out so I can make sure I’ve got complete privacy, especially when I’m not home.”
He chuckled. “I can assure you, Camden isn’t into chicks’ clothes.”
“Ha, ha smart aleck. I’m referring to the Amazon women he brings home every night. I don’t trust them to not come in and think it’s a free-for-all in my room and take my things,” I grumbled.
Dodger touched my shoulder. “Wait, he’s been bringing home women?”
My eyebrows drew together. “Yeah, he’s brought at least three here since I’ve moved in. Why?”
His face looked confused. “Nothing, don’t worry about it.” He stood behind me, completely quiet as I worked. When I stood up, I opened the door so I could test the lock. I heard Dodger groan.
“What the f*ck, Keeg.” He pushed me aside and hit the light switch on the wall.
“Hey, what are you doing?” I tried to maneuver in front of him and shove him back out. He wouldn’t budge. His eyes took in every bare inch of the room. By the time they met mine, he looked confused and mad. “Where’s all your furniture? I thought you said you were all moved in.”
My shoulders drooped, and my voice got quiet. “I am. This is all I have.”
His head was shaking back and forth. “This isn’t cool Keegan. You don’t even have a goddamn bed!”
“Why are you shouting at me? It’s not like I don’t plan on getting more furniture, I just can’t afford it right now. And my mom wouldn’t let me take the stuff from my room.” I kept my eyes down, and I couldn’t look at him. Why did I feel so ashamed?
He tipped my chin up so I was looking at him. “I can buy you a bed, Keegan. It’s not a problem.”
I jerked my head away. “No! I’m not a freaking charity case, and I’m working for what I have. I’ll be able to get everything I need in a few short months, so stop worrying about me, and wipe that look off your face.”
His mouth thinned in a frustrated line. “You know I’m going to tell him.”
“Tell who?”
“Camden.”
My stomach dropped, and I immediately became defensive. “You tell that bastard anything, I’m gone. I’m not dealing with your pity, and that a*shole’s judgment being thrown in my face. I may not have a set of parents who give me whatever I need, but I’m capable of taking care of myself. Camden doesn’t need to know anything about me. He passed judgment on me the moment he set eyes on me. So please, keep this to yourself, okay?”
He watched me for a few short seconds before he scrubbed his hand down his face. “Fine, but you know he’s going to notice this at some point.”
“No he won’t. And even if he did, he wouldn’t care.” I knew he wouldn’t.
He shrugged. “If you think so. But I have a feeling it would bother him more than you think.”
“Whatever. Let’s go back downstairs so I can finish this movie with Sarah and get her back home.”
As I shut the door and used my new lock, I heard the front door open and close.
“Who the hell are you?” Camden’s deep voice boomed through the open space.
“I’m Sarah, who the hell are you?”
Dodger was already at the bottom of the steps chuckling at my sister’s response, and I was trying to shove the key in my pocket and race down the steps without falling.
“Sarah!” I scolded. “Watch your mouth.”
She shrugged indifferently. “What? He started it.”
I seriously hoped my mother wasn’t letting her talk like that while I wasn’t around. Camden looked over at me as my feet hit the last step and started to glance back at Sarah but did a double take at Dodger and me standing together. I gulped. I had an idea of what it looked like since we’d both come from upstairs.
His jaw worked back and forth. “She belong to you?”
My mouth opened, then closed, then opened again. I wasn’t sure how to respond to his sudden anger. His tone was clipped and the way he referred to my sister was as if she were an inanimate object. “If by belonging to me you mean, is this my sister, then yes, she belongs to me.”
“Huh,” he grunted. “I didn’t know you had a sister.”
I took a defensive stance, crossing my arms over my chest. “You might if you were around more. This is the third time she’s been here.”
His eyes flared. When it came to Sarah, I never held back. I’d played mama bear to her on more than one occasion. This was no exception.
“Yeah well, I work. You know, going out and earning a paycheck.” His sentence was dripping with sarcasm, and it ruffled my feathers.
“Excuse me? I work. How do you think I pay for this place?”
“Doesn’t matter how you earn it. As long as you’re paying, I don’t care.”
“Oh well that’s a real fantastic attitude to have about someone living in your house.”
“It is what it is, Blue.” He shrugged, and it made my blood go from a slow simmer to a boil.
“Seriously, what’s with the nickname?” I nearly shouted.
“Hey,” Sarah piped up over the top of the couch. “Trying to watch a movie here.”
“Yeah, she’s trying to watch a movie, keep it down,” Dodger cut in. I’d totally forgot he was still standing there, and he was looking highly amused by the heated argument Camden and I were having.
“Shut up Dodge,” Camden clipped.
His younger brother just chuckled. “No way man. I agree, the kid is watching a movie, and you two are making it difficult to hear.” He looked between us. “Shew! There’s some serious sexual tension in this room.”
Camden growled and ran his hands through his sweaty dark hair. “Christ, you don’t know when to f*cking quit.”
“What’s sexual tension?” Sarah’s curious eyes peered at me.
I turned to glare at Dodger and Camden. Flinging my hands up in the air and slapping them back down on my legs. “Oh my gosh!” I exclaimed, grinding my teeth together. Whispering really low, I pointed to both of them. “Thanks a lot. And watch your mouth. She’s only eight.” I moved toward the couch and said, “Sexual tension is just when everyone is really happy and having a good time.”
I heard someone snort behind me. That was it, Sarah wasn’t coming back here until I gave both of them a talk about how to behave in front of my little sister. I could picture it now. Sarah was at school, and my mom gets a call because my little sister was loving the sexual tension on the playground. I sighed.
“Wellllll…this has been fun, but I have places to go, chicks to meet,” Dodger said before Sarah could ask anything else.
He put his hand on my shoulder as he walked past me. He bent down and kissed me on the top of my head. I don’t know why it didn’t seem odd, considering he hadn’t known me that long, but Dodger made me feel comfortable, and I knew it was just a friendly gesture. “Be good,” he whispered in my ear. I nodded slightly and watched him walk out the front door.
I risked a glance over my shoulder at Camden. His eyes were fixed on me. Why was he looking at me like that? He closed his almost russet eyes and breathed in through his nose. When he opened them again, he focused on my sister. “Hey kid,” he tilted his head toward the TV, “what’re you watchin’?”
Sarah eyed him skeptically. “Beverly Hills Chihuahua, wanna watch it with me?” Clearly his demeanor didn’t intimidate her.
“Depends, is it any good?” He started moving toward her, passing me on the other side of the couch.
“Duh, it’s about dogs. Anything with dogs is good.”
His body nearly brushed mine as he walked by. I involuntarily breathed in, and his scent crashed into me like a ton of bricks. It was so clean, and yet he was still sweaty. I gripped the back of the couch.
He sat down on the opposite side from her and continued to talk. “Do you have a dog?”
She shook her head. “No, Mom won’t let me have one. She says they’re too much work.”
He nodded. “I grew up with dogs, and they are a ton of work. But maybe someday you will get one.”
As angry as he made me, his softer attitude toward Sarah was a refreshing change. Having a man in the house who was always irritable and broody made my normally happy disposition negative. In the week that I’ve lived here, I found it exhausting. Looking at Camden sitting with Sarah watching a totally ridiculous movie, I felt like the universe had tilted. How on earth did my baby sister penetrate his ‘don’t mess with me’ shell? Maybe he liked kids. The two of them looked pretty settled. I ran my hand through my long hair. It looked like I’d better get comfortable, because I wasn’t expecting my night to take this turn.
Three hours and another movie later, Sarah was passed out cold. It was almost eight o’clock, and I needed to get her home. I stood up and stretched my arms high above my head. My back popped, and I groaned. It felt better after sitting so stiffly for so long. I refused to look at Camden when the movie was over. He had seemed on edge with me, and I wasn’t in the mood for another showdown tonight. Stepping over to Sarah, I was about to bend down to pick her up when Camden shifted and lifted her in the air before I even got a chance to. I raised a brow at him, questioningly.
“Open the door for me, would ya?” His voice rumbled, but no longer held the edge that it had earlier in the evening.
I went to the front door and opened it. Moving in front of him, I walked out to my car and heard him following behind me. Pushing the unlock button, the lights flashed in the dark parking lot. I opened the back door and watched how careful he was with her. The way he gently tried not to jostle her was almost endearing.
Almost.
When he closed her door he turned and faced me. His hard eyes had a softer feel, and yet they were still intense. A moment seemed to pass between us in the few short seconds we silently regarded each other. He began to open his mouth, but closed it, almost as if he’d thought better of it. Shaking his head, he opened my door and stood back on the sidewalk. I climbed in and started the car. When I backed out I watched in my rearview mirror and noticed Camden hadn’t moved. As uneasy as he’d made me feel since the moment I met him, I appreciated his help with Sarah, but it grated my nerves that I’d need to thank him for helping me out with her when I got home.
By the time I’d gotten Sarah back and tucked her in, I had exchanged a few words with my mom. She was yelling at me for keeping her out so late and said I should have just let her stay with me. It only served to flip a switch and tick me off. I accused her of only saying that because she wanted to go out and party, and she couldn’t if I was bringing Sarah back home. Her arguing escalated, and I decided that I no longer had to listen to it. I moved out for more than one reason, and this was one of them. It was almost eleven when I’d gotten back home. I was exhausted and ready to go to bed.
Walking into the apartment, the downstairs was completely dark. Camden must have either gone to bed, or he was out again. My stomach dropped at the idea of him being out with another girl, but I quickly squashed the disappointment. I had no claim to him, nor did I want one. He was my roommate, and that was it. Definitely wouldn’t be thanking him for helping me earlier. I fumbled up the steps and was just unlocking my door when the bathroom door opened. Camden stepped out into the hallway and steam floated out around him. He had a dark blue towel wrapped low around his waist, and there were still water droplets descending down his perfectly chiseled abs. There was a very defined V with a trail of dark hair that went beneath the towel. I found myself taking in every inch of his perfect form. And when I said perfect, I meant there wasn’t a single flaw to be found on him. I had no idea how long I stood there nearly drooling on the carpet, but when my eyes reached his, he had a half a smirk on his face. Oh God, please don’t gloat that I was checking you out, please. My overtired brain couldn’t take it.
Instead, he stepped forward till we were almost toe to toe. His dark chocolate eyes roamed my face, like he was trying to find something. I stood completely still allowing him to search my features. My breathing had picked up, and the rise and fall of my chest was a bit faster than normal. If he noticed, he didn’t indicate it. His breathing was still normal, and I sank a little that I didn’t have the same effect on him. Being this close, I couldn’t look in his eyes. I didn’t know what I’d see in them. Eye contact without anger felt too personal. I didn’t want to be personal with him. At least I didn’t think I did, so my eyes remained on his chest. But then he did something that seemed so out of character, it startled me. His left hand came up and he tucked a few strands of my blond hair behind my ear. It was so subtle and yet very intimate. I sucked in a gulp of air, and my knees almost buckled when I caught the scent of him. It was so clean and warm that it made me want to wrap myself up in it and get lost. I’d been in the shower plenty of times, and I knew what his soap smelled like. This was soap and something that was just him.
Intoxicating.
“Glad you made it back safe. You were gone for a while,” he said quietly, almost as if his words were going to shatter the trance he’d put me in.
I couldn’t speak. My mind was a blank slate, and no words could be formed. He’d officially rendered me speechless. Between his closeness, his scent, and the burning trail that his fingers left on my skin, I was lost. He had to know what he was doing to me. Nobody that looked like him didn’t realize how they affected people. In this moment, if he told me to jump, I’d say, “how high?”
Instead of reeling me in further, he broke the spell he had put me under. He quietly said, “Night Blue,” and he turned to walk into his bedroom.
When his door shut, I sagged against the wall. My poor little synapses were firing in all different directions, and I was trying regain my footing. What in the hell just happened here? And seriously, where had he picked up the name Blue? I shook my head and went into my room, locking the door behind me. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel safe, especially with Camden across the hall. But I wasn’t sure that I wouldn’t have some crazy dream and sleepwalk my way into his room and rape the man. He was getting to me, and I needed to nip that in the bud quick. His hot and cold behavior was too much. It had only been a week, and I wasn’t sure I could deal with it for an entire year without losing my mind. Dodger stating that there was sexual tension was laughable. I might have felt the urge for the first time tonight in the hallway, but there was definitely nothing registering on his side. Tomorrow, I was going to have to set him straight. No more A*shole Camden, and definitely no more Touchy Feely Camden. I wanted to be able to walk into my house and know who it was that I was going to be coming face to face with every day. There, it was settled. My nerves were shot, and my body was needy for something, but I had to ignore it. I’d settle it all tomorrow when I got up. Hopefully I’d catch him before he left for the gym. Closing my eyes, it took forever for me to nod off. When I finally did, I dreamed of towel clad Camden and all the naughty things I’d like him to do to me.