Before We Kiss (Fool's Gold #14)

Sam did his best to avoid shifting in his seat. “We’re hanging out,” he said, not willing to admit much more.

It wasn’t that he wanted to keep things a secret from his friends. It was more that if he defined it, named it, then he would have to acknowledge that he liked her. And once he went down that road, it was only a matter of time until the next disaster.

“Not every woman is your ex,” his friend reminded him.

“She doesn’t have to be. When I get involved, it ends badly. Every single time.”

“So you’re due for some good luck.” Jack’s mouth twisted. “Face it, Sam, you want to get married and have a family. You’re a traditional guy. You’re going to have to be willing to trust at some point.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Then you’ll never end up where you want to be.”

Sam understood his friend was trying to help and a case could be made that Jack was onto something. In theory Sam could adopt a couple of kids on his own and truly avoid the whole man-woman thing. Only he didn’t want to. He wanted a partner, someone he could count on and be there for. He wanted to introduce the love of his life as the woman he’d married. Hell, he was open to a minivan.

“It’s not going to happen,” he said grimly. “If I get involved with Dellina, everything will change.”

“You’re already involved. You can pretend you’re not, but we can all see it. You know her. You like her. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Sam raised his eyebrows.

Jack sighed. “Yeah, don’t answer that.”

“You’re an odd one to be giving advice,” Sam pointed out. “It’s not like you’re swimming in commitment.”

Jack leaned back in the chair. “We’re all so screwed up. How did that happen?”

“Dumb luck?”

Jack smiled briefly. “Taryn figured it out. She found Angel. He’s a good guy.”

“Any regrets?” Sam asked. Because years ago, Taryn and Jack had gotten married. The circumstances hadn’t been ideal. She’d gotten pregnant and he’d insisted they fly to Las Vegas to make it all legal.

“About Taryn?” Jack asked. “No. I still have her around. We were never in love.” He hesitated for a second. “I wonder if I’m capable of loving anyone. Romantically, I mean. I never have. I don’t need to get married. I have Larissa.”

Sam raised his eyebrows. “Really?”

Jack rolled his eyes. “Not that way, ass**le. I mean Larissa takes care of me. She makes my life run smoothly. Anytime something messy and emotional comes up, I pass it on to her.”

Which all sounded great, but there was a flaw. “You do realize that one day she’s going to want more. What happens when she gets married and has a family of her own?”

Jack’s features tightened for a second, then he relaxed. “She’ll still work for me.”

“I don’t know. I think she’s the type who will want to stay home and look after the kids.”

“Well, hell.” Jack tensed. “No way. I’ll give her a raise. I’ll pay her so much, she won’t ever want to quit.”

“That’s one way to handle it,” Sam said, thinking the truth between Jack and Larissa was a whole lot more complicated. Not that either of them would admit it.

“When the time is right, you’ll figure it out,” Sam told him.

“Is that what you say to yourself?”

Sam shrugged. What was there to figure out? He knew exactly what had gone wrong in every one of his relationships. The same could be said for Jack and Kenny. Although Kenny’s circumstances were unique. And painful.

Jack stood and grabbed the football. “I don’t want you dying old and alone,” he said.

“Because young and alone is better?” Sam asked.

“You know what I mean.”

Sam grinned. “I’m better with money than you. When you lose it all, I’ll let you live above my garage. Then neither of us will be alone. How’s that?”

“I’d rather have a woman, if it’s all the same to you.”

“And if that doesn’t happen?” Sam asked.

“Then sure, I’ll move into the apartment above the garage. You going to get me one of those lifts to carry me up to the second floor?”

“Sure. With the biggest motor they make.”

“Because it’s all about speed.” Jack crossed to the door. “Think about Dellina. She seems like one of the good guys.”

Sam didn’t respond and, when his friend had left, he leaned back in his chair.

Jack was right—somehow he’d gotten involved with Dellina. One second they were working together, and the next, it was a whole lot more. But to risk anything else seemed impossible.

He understood that to get what he claimed he wanted he was going to have to take a leap of faith. To gamble on believing in someone. Otherwise, he was destined to always want and never have.