Before We Kiss (Fool's Gold #14)

Dellina walked them out, then returned to her office where she studied her master list. It was very possible she was ready. She had her emergency supplies—sunscreen, aloe vera, a jumbo first aid kit, an assortment of phone numbers that included everything from auto repair service to the cell number for a private pilot who lived in town and ran an air service out of the local airport.

Ana Raquel was handling all the food and drinks the hotel wasn’t, she’d coordinated with Heidi for the afternoon on the ranch and she and Greg were ready for the wine tasting. Fayrene had the children’s schedule memorized, had helped confirm all the vendors and had verified the extra babysitters would be in place. The mani-pedis were scheduled, the golf course reserved and—

Someone rang her doorbell. She turned and left her office only to start walking faster when she heard pounding on her front door.

“What?” she demanded as she pulled it open.

Sam stood there. His hair was mussed, his eyes were wide and he seemed to be swaying on his feet.

“They’re here,” he told her. “They’re here and it’s worse than I thought.”

* * *

DELLINA GOT SAM inside. She moved papers around until there was room on the sofa, then pointed to a cushion. He stared at it blankly.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Fine. No, I’m not fine. They’re here.”

“We’re talking about your parents, right? Not an alien landing? Because if lizard people are taking over the world, I want to be paid in advance of the party.”

His head snapped up and he stared at her. “You think this is funny.”

“Sort of.” She sat next to him and, without thinking, took his hand in hers. The second they were touching, she was conscious of his maleness so close to her femaleness. Sometimes opposites were a good thing.

“Sam, they’re your parents. It’s not that big a deal.”

“You haven’t met them.” He shifted on the cushion, then swayed just a little.

She peered more closely. “Are you... Are you drunk?”

“Maybe. I don’t know how many martinis Taryn poured. Don’t worry, I walked.”

“You left your parents alone at your house?”

“I had to. They were going to have sex. Or a demonstration. Does it matter? Either way they were going to get naked.” He shuddered. “Why couldn’t I have normal parents? I could accept some level of eccentricity but not this.”

She wasn’t sure how much of Sam’s parents’ mythology she believed, but she was sure that it would take a fair bit of stress to get Sam drunk in the middle of a workday.

“They can’t be that bad,” she began.

“My mother wants me to change condom brands.”

Dellina frowned. “How does she know which brand you use?”

“The first thing she does when she arrives at my place is go through everything. My cupboards, my drawers. She asked about a vibrator she sent me. It’s pink.” He shuddered.

She pressed her lips together to keep from giggling. Partially because it was funny and honestly, in part, out of horror. “Your mother sent you a vibrator?”

“Yes. It’s designed to stimulate a woman’s G-spot.”

“I’m not sure I know what that is.”

Sam snatched his hand back and glared at her. “Do not under any circumstances say that in front of my mother. Do I make myself clear? If you tell her you don’t know where it is, she will have you naked in ten seconds and then show you.”

Dellina felt her eyes widen. “She’ll...”

“Touch it. Yes. Or have you touch it. She’ll discuss stimulating it and how it can increase pleasure during orgasm.”

While Dellina didn’t want Sam’s mother anywhere near her girl parts, more pleasure during orgasm didn’t sound that bad.

“Do you still have the vibrator?” she asked as casually as she could.

“What? I don’t know. Maybe. It’s not the point.”

“I suppose not,” she said wistfully, wondering how gross it would be to do a G-spot internet search. Preferably on sites without pictures because there were just some things she didn’t want to see.

“You’re not listening,” he told her. “These are my parents. They’re like locusts. They have to be controlled or they’ll sweep in and destroy everything.”

“Seriously?”

He sucked in a breath. “Fine. They’ll destroy my life and leave everything else untouched.” He stood and paced the length of her living room, then headed down the hall.

She followed him and they ended up in her office. He walked to the window, then faced her.

“I can’t do this,” he told her. “I have to leave the country. I’m driving to Mexico. I can’t spend a week with them. What was I thinking?”

“You’re blowing this out of proportion,” she said gently.

“Am I?” His voice was surprisingly shrill. “Let’s see about that. We have the dinner at Henri’s tonight. If you think they’re completely normal, then I’ll never complain about them again. If I’m right, I get to stay here while they’re in town.”

“All I have is that futon in the other room,” she said without thinking.

“I don’t care if it’s the floor.” He grabbed her by her upper arms. “They’re not human.”