She thought about going home, but if she were going to be alone, she would rather be at Mac’s house. Going back to her lonely apartment didn’t hold much appeal. “Be careful,” she said as she kissed Mac good-bye and said she’d see him when he returned.
An hour later, she had already showered and changed into one of Mac’s T-shirts. She didn’t want to go to sleep without him, so she wandered his house restlessly. When she came to his office, she decided to do what half the world did when they were bored, play Candy Crush. Mac had given her the password to his computer, so she curled up in his big leather chair and logged on. She smiled at how organized his desk was. Everything was neatly filed and labeled. You could take the boy out of the military but not the military out of the boy. Idly, she opened the desk drawers, laughing as she noted that his organizational skills extended there as well. She was just shutting the last drawer when a label on a folder caught her attention. AVA STONE. “What the hell . . . ?” she mumbled as she pulled the folder out.
As Ava thumbed through the list of reports, she wasn’t really surprised. She knew that Mac had kept an eye on her for years. Maybe she thought that it was more informal than these written reports proved, but she understood where his protective instinct for her had come from. The file didn’t contain a report on every man she had brought home over the years, but it was a good-sized list. The whole folder was a mirage. Now she thought of how Mac must have felt when he had these pages sitting in front of him in black-and-white. For the first time, she truthfully acknowledged to herself how much she had needed help to heal and how even though she was better, she still needed support to continue the process. She couldn’t go back to the pretend life she had been living.
She was almost to the end of the folder when she found an envelope. Her name was handwritten with her address listed as in care of Brant Stone. The return address showed a location in New York. She didn’t know anyone there, so she was truly puzzled as to who would be trying to contact her. Ava pulled a single sheet of paper from the envelope and felt the breath leave her body in a startled gasp as she read the first line.
Ava,
I know that I’m not supposed to have any contact with you, but I couldn’t continue to live my life as though nothing ever happened. You are the only victim here, but that night and what I did to you has haunted me since I was sober enough the next day to realize what had happened. You may not believe me, but I wanted to turn myself into the police. My parents and your grandfather wouldn’t hear of it, though. Your grandfather made all manner of threats to my parents if they didn’t take me and leave town immediately. He said that you didn’t want me to humiliate you further by contacting the police. I have no idea if that was true, but I had little choice but to do as my parents wanted.
For weeks, I had been drinking more and mixing it with any type of drugs that I could get my hands on. But that night I had too much of both. Something about the combination made me so angry and aggressive. When you said no . . . I just snapped. I had no real concept of what I was even doing. When I realized what I’d done to you, it almost destroyed me. Ava, there is no excuse that I can make, or no way to apologize enough, but I am so very sorry for what I did to you. Not a day has gone by in my life that I haven’t regretted what happened that night. I’m not writing this expecting your forgiveness; I just needed you to know that as meaningless as it may be to you now, I’m sorry.
Kevin
Ava sagged in the chair, letting the letter flutter from her nerveless fingers. Turning the envelope over, she saw that it was postmarked four years earlier. “Oh my God,” she whispered as her head whirled and her stomach clenched. Why had no one ever told her about this? There were at least two people who knew, Brant and Mac. She would bet that Declan did as well. Her brother had to have given the letter to Mac. Operating on pure adrenaline, she picked the letter up and ran to the door before realizing that she didn’t have her car. Running back into the kitchen, she found the box near the back door and easily located the keys to Mac’s truck that he rarely used. She had teased him for years about men in the South always having a truck, even if they didn’t drive it often. Declan was the same way.
Accessing the garage by way of the kitchen, Ava stopped only to hit the opener mounted on the wall before climbing up into the truck. Within moments, she was speeding toward Brant’s house. Her mind was buzzing with questions, and she planned to get some answers. How could they have kept something like this from her? Kevin hadn’t gone into much detail about what had happened afterward, but she had a feeling that Brant knew, and she was tired of being in the dark.