“Ready, chica?” Suzy asked, before leaning up to kiss her husband. “We’ll be back in a few hours, babe. You’ve got Mac coming over, right?”
Gray looked from his wife to Ava and then back again. “Mmm-hmm. Mac seemed a little surprised that I needed to meet him this evening just to discuss an upgrade. Neither he nor I could discern why it was suddenly so earth-shakingly important to my beautiful wife.” When Suzy just gave him her best innocent look, he shook his head in resignation. Kissing the top of her head, he said, “Be safe, baby.”
When Gray walked off into another room, Suzy wrestled the clothing from her hand and threw it into a nearby armchair. “Come on, drop the body armor. We’re going out onto a beach. There are many people with swimsuits on. It doesn’t matter who you are or what size you wear, just own it. Confidence is sexy.” With those words, Suzy pulled her out onto the deck and then down the steps that led to the beach.
Ava felt naked with strangers around but tried to take Suzy’s words to heart. Was it as simple as just seeing yourself a certain way? Even though she had been told she was attractive, a part of her had always felt ugly . . . since that night. She thought if she exposed too much skin, she was asking for bad things to happen to her. She had lived with the fear for years that she had somehow been responsible for her assault. Had she given him the wrong idea by how she dressed and the things she said? All the books said no. That there was never anything you could do to justify those acts of violence, but deep down inside, the doubts festered.
Being exposed like this now, for strangers to see, was almost paralyzing. Sure, she had worn more revealing clothes lately but always with some kind of escape plan in mind. But here and now, there was no car near, there was nothing to hide behind. If she freaked out and ran, everyone would see . . . Suzy would see.
Ava had no idea that she had stopped walking until Suzy put hand on each of her arms, shaking her lightly. “I don’t think . . . ,” she began to explain before letting the words trail off. Why? Why couldn’t she stop being afraid?
“Hey,” Suzy said quietly, “listen to me. I know you’re all up in your head right now. Trust me, I recognize the signs. I’m not going to force you to see this through. But I will promise you this: I’ll be with you every step of the way. I won’t leave your side. We don’t have to parasail today. We can just hang out. No one is going to bother you; I’ll make sure of that.”
Ava studied her new friend for a minute, seeing nothing but sincerity in her eyes. If there had been one ounce of pity, Ava would have collapsed, but somehow Suzy’s strength fueled her own. She really looked at her surroundings for the first time, seeing other women on the beach dressed just as she was. She didn’t stick out here. No one was looking at her; she was just another face in the crowd. Releasing the breath she hadn’t been aware of holding, she gave a nod of agreement and a tentative smile of reassurance. “I—okay. Can we just watch other people do the parasailing before I commit, though?”
Doing a little victory dance, Suzy threw an arm around her shoulders. “Hell yeah, we can. If we’re being all honest and stuff, I almost pissed my pants the first time I tried it, so I’m all for taking baby steps. Most important thing is that we’re actually considering it, right? Big points for that! Hey, by the way, what was Mac’s reaction to your sext today?”
Ava felt her face go up in flames as she looked around to make sure no one was listening before saying, “He said to be at his house at eight . . . with no panties.”
“No, he didn’t!” Suzy all but shouted. “I bet you don’t make it as far as the bedroom tonight before he jumps your bones! That man probably hasn’t been able to think of anything else all day. You go, girl.”
Next, Ava did something she would never have thought possible while being scantily dressed in public: she let loose a full-belly laugh and felt years of repression start to lighten from her shoulders. She’d had sex, walked on a public beach in a bikini, and done her first ever sext—all in one week—with only minor moments of panic. After so many years of almost giving up on herself, she was getting her life back, and in that moment, she felt like a carefree teenager again. Fun, fearless, and ready to take on the world.