“Why not?”
Pia hesitated. “I’m not very good at them. I want to be. I want to be nurturing and know fifteen different ways to stylishly cut a sandwich. But it’s not my thing. I like kids, in theory. I don’t know much about them. But getting serious and having one of my own? I don’t really think I’m the right person for that.”
There was something about the way she said the words. As if there was more, but she wasn’t comfortable telling the story. Liz didn’t want to press. Her friendship with Pia was still new. But she couldn’t help wondering what secrets her friend was keeping to herself.
“I don’t think skilled sandwich cutting guarantees great nurturing,” she said instead. “I only know two ways.”
“That’s one more than me. Besides, you’re a natural parent. I’ve seen you with Tyler. You two have a great relationship.”
“I’m a parent because I got pregnant,” Liz told her. “I was eighteen. Instinct or not, I was a kid and I know I made a bunch of mistakes. I spent the first year terrified I was going to drop him or something. I think loving is a whole lot more important than anything. Children need to know they’re wanted.”
“That’s true,” Pia said. “Not being wanted sucks.”
“I know.”
“It’s a nonissue,” Pia said flatly. “I’m between men and I intend to keep it that way. I have Jake the cat and that’s enough.”
“At least he won’t leave the toilet seat up.”
“Exactly. I heard from Crystal’s lawyer. She wants me to come in and talk in the next few weeks. She said there was no rush so I’m assuming there’s something in Crystal’s will about a formal transfer of ownership.”
“Be sure to tell the city,” Liz teased. “There’s paperwork with pet transfers.”
Pia lowered her sunglasses and glanced over them. “You’re not all that. You know that, right?”
Liz laughed.
Pia smiled at her. “I’m glad you came back.”
Liz groaned. “Don’t say that.”
“Still being harassed by the elderly?”
“They’re not all old.” Thinking about Fool’s Gold left her feeling confused. “There are some things about being here that I really like and some that make me insane.”
“Where does Ethan fall on the list?”
“He’s on both sides.”
“See? Men are a complication.”
“Tell me about it,” Liz grumbled. “I know he wants a relationship with Tyler and I encourage that. But then he goes and does something stupid like the injunction and I want to bitch slap him.”
“Can I watch? It would be the highlight of my week.”
Liz smiled faintly. “Probably not his.” She sighed. “I just don’t know what to do.”
“Because you don’t know how you feel about him? How could you? It’s been years, but you were in love with him once and now you have Tyler together. It’s got to be complicated. Trying to decide if you still love him.”
Liz felt the world tilt to the right. She grabbed on to her towel to keep from sliding away. Only nothing was really moving—it was all happening inside of her.
“I don’t love Ethan.”
Pia’s expression turned pitying. “Speaking as a professional, I can tell you that denial is a dangerous place to live. It really messes up any long-term planning. I’m not saying you love him, I’m saying you have to decide if you might.”
“No. I don’t accept that. He denied me in public—twice! He never tried to find me. I’m sure he hasn’t thought about me in years.”
“Interesting. So your feelings are dependent on his? I wouldn’t have thought you were that shallow.”
Liz sputtered. “Excuse me? That’s not what I’m saying.”
“It’s what you said.”
Liz sucked in a breath. “The point is I’m not interested in Ethan that way and he’s not interested in me. We have a child together. There are details that have to be worked out. Nothing more.”
Care about Ethan? Love Ethan? Not on this planet. She barely liked him. Okay, sure she wanted him, but that was different. Having a sexual connection was hardly significant.
“You’re wrong,” Liz added. “You couldn’t be more wrong.”
Pia picked up a bottle of water and opened it. “Isn’t there a line in Shakespeare about protesting too much? I can’t remember, but then, I’m not the literary one here.”
“No. You’re the crazy one.”
Instead of getting upset, Pia only smiled.
Liz glared at her, then crossed her arms over her chest and stared out at the pool. Love? That was just plain stupid. She didn’t love Ethan. She refused to do more than like him and that was just for her son’s sake. Anyone who implied otherwise needed some serious mental therapy.