I close my eyes, fighting back tears for the hundredth time today, and wonder when he added it. It had to be after he knew he was leaving, but before my party. It’s exactly the kind of sweet thing he would’ve done. And I know exactly what I would’ve done once I’d seen it. I’d have taken my board out into the water and had a good cry; then I would’ve gotten my ass on a plane to wherever he was.
And, after hearing his side of the story, that’s probably exactly what he had hoped for.
It would have been romantic and dramatic. An amazing script.
The problem is, I don’t know how the story would’ve ended.
Would we have fought like we did in Europe and broken up for good? Or would we have ended up living happily ever after?
I carry my board to the storage area, standing it up next to the other surfboards and water toys. Before I leave, I run my fingers across the words and vow to bring chaos into Vincent’s life.
I wander over to the veranda slowly, trying to compose myself. I see Aiden, Peyton, and Damian, all sitting around the big table, laughing and eating. Well, Peyton and Damian are laughing. Aiden seems to be lost in thought.
I feel bad about what I said about him walking away, because I know I would’ve done the exact same thing.
I give him a smile and sit down next to him. He puts his hand on my thigh under the table and gives it a squeeze. I know it’s supposed to be a sweet, reassuring squeeze, but it doesn’t comfort me.
It sends tingles across my body, causing me want to forget about tomorrow, drag him to my room, strip him naked, and dare him to say no to me again.
I eat a few fries and pick at my burger—two things I normally love—while carrying on polite table conversation. After Damian steals the last fry, he says, “Peyton, would you like to go for a walk on the beach?”
“I’d love to,” she says in an unusually high-pitched voice.
She follows Damian toward the screen door but then stops and turns around.
“You guys want to join us?” she asks nicely, but I can tell it’s the last thing she wants.
“Naw, you go,” I tell her as Aiden says, “We should go.”
“Why should we go?” I ask him as Peyton rushes to the beach without waiting for us.
“I can’t just let my sister go out there with him alone. She doesn’t even know him.”
“You don’t have to worry about her being safe, Aiden. He’s a great guy.”
He squints his eyes at me, judging. “What does he do? Is he in school? Have a job?”
“Um, he’s in a band called Twisted Dreams. They did a European tour this summer and then Japan this fall. And he got his GED so he could go on tour.”
“So, does he hook up with girls on tour?”
Uh, yeah, I think, but I can’t say that. “I don’t think so.”
Aiden rubs the side of his face. “You sure she’ll be okay?”
“I promise.”
“Fine. I’m really tired, anyway. I was hoping to head to bed soon.”
“Bed?”
“Yes, bed,” he says. “Come on, I’ll walk you to your room.”
“Um, are you tired?” I ask as we walk to the turret. Did he decide that he doesn’t want to sleep with me?
When we get to my door, he gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Good night, then.”
I nod at him, so he turns to walk away.
But I can’t let him go.
“Aiden, I don’t . . .”
“I don’t want to be alone either,” he says, quickly finishing my thought and hugging me tightly. “I know we have a lot to talk about, but when you came back from putting away your board, you seemed—I don’t know—distant.”
“We have all break to talk,” I say, avoiding the inevitable. “And I’m just tired.”
“It has been a really long day, Boots.”
“I know,” I reply as he opens the door and sees my room at night. The bedding is turned down and the candles in the hurricane lanterns on each side of the bed are lit. The screen door is pulled shut to keep out the bugs but allow the soothing ocean sounds in, and the sky is dotted with a million stars.
He looks around the room. “This is beautiful.” He laughs. “I think I say that about everything when I’m with you.” He pulls me onto the bed with him, kisses my shoulder, and then whispers in my ear, “You make every moment beautiful.”
We lie down on the bed and I snuggle into his shoulder.
He doesn’t talk, just gently strokes my hair.
I soak up his presence, trying to absorb everything that is Aiden into my memory. His dreamy scent. The way my head fits perfectly on his shoulder. How when I’m with him I feel like I’m in a bubble, safe and protected from the outside world.
Tears start sliding onto Aiden’s chest before I can stop them.
“Baby, why are you crying?”
“Because I didn't think I’d ever get to lie in this spot again.”
“You fit perfectly.”
“I’m sure other girls have fit just fine.”
“Maybe, but that was BK.”
“BK?”
“Yeah, Before Keatyn. Because since you came into my life, no one else fits.”
“Aiden, why did you write on the moon?”
“I was trying to be poetic and tell you how I feel.”
“So, you feel like the moon has been holding your dreams afar?”
“Lately, yes.”
“Me too.” I say, snuggling closer and quickly falling asleep.
Thursday, November 24th
Thanksgiving Day
What if bullshit.
5:50am