CHAPTER 27: SOFIA
I wanted to take the girls with me and insisted on it. Derek wouldn’t hear of it. In fact, he simply ignored me. He wouldn’t even look at me. But he looked at Ben and said, “Protect her.”
Ben just looked at him incredulously as if to say that he didn’t need to be told to do that. It was easy to see that Ben didn’t really like Derek and saw no reason to be grateful for what he was doing.
I saw differently. I knew how much Derek was risking by helping us escape. He was severely compromising the safety of everyone at the Shade by letting us go. He was giving his kind a reason to question his rule. I feared for him – so much so that I found myself debating if I even wanted to leave.
What he told Ben next tore me apart inside.
“Make sure she gets home safe.”
Home. I told him that he’d begun to feel like home, and at that moment, I knew I was lying to myself if I was trying to convince myself that by leaving the Blood Shade, I’d be going back home. At that point, I wasn’t sure where home was anymore, but it didn’t change the fact that both mine and Ben’s lives were in severe danger by staying there. Mine because of Lucas’ determination to have me. Ben’s because of his connection to me…and Claudia.
So, the escape went on as planned.
It became apparent that Derek knew the Blood Shade quite well. He knew where to go and what to do in order to remain hidden. Considering how Corrine had already told him about my LLI, that too was a risk. He knew that I would remember every single detail of my escape. It meant that should I ever return to the Blood Shade, I would be well acquainted with the road to escape, even in the dark. With every step I took nearer to the port where Derek already secured a ride for us that would return us to the beach from where we were first stolen, I realized how much I didn’t want to go. Not because I suddenly found a special spot in my heart for the Blood Shade, but because I didn’t want to be anywhere where he wasn’t.
I hated that he wouldn’t even look at me. When the port came into sight, I’d had enough. Ben was holding my hand and Derek was trailing behind us, making sure no one was following. I stopped walking, hoping that Derek would bump into me. He didn’t. As always, he was aware of my every move.
Ben pulled on my hand. His face fell when I wriggled my hand away from his grasp. “I need to talk to Derek,” was all the explanation that I gave him.
Ben didn’t look happy about it, but he nodded, giving Derek a glare before moving forward – a safe distance away from us.
I turned around to face Derek. I wanted him to look at me. He looked away. “Don’t be this way, Derek.”
“What way?”
“Distant.”
“Why not? That’s what you’ll be once you leave the Shade.”
It was the first time I realized that once I left, it was goodbye forever. It wasn’t like I could just go online and video chat with him.
“That’s exactly why I can’t bear this, Derek.” I held back a sob. “We’ve been through too much… I’d like to think that we’d grown to mean a lot to each other.”
This was such an understatement. And I hated how I sounded so formal. At that moment, it felt like he meant everything to me and with all my heart, I wished that he felt the same. I tried hard to hold back the tears as I continued my attempt to speak out loud what was eating me away inside.
“To part this way… barely even talking, barely even looking at each other… I don’t know how to handle it. I can’t bear it.”
I choked before I could say the words that I knew would forever haunt me. I love you too much to leave everything hanging like this.
My spine tingled when he reached for me, his fingers caressing my cheek and brushing through my hair. Before I could even make sense of what was happening, his lips pressed against mine – hungry, passionate, demanding. His tongue pushed between my lips – claiming, exploring, tasting. I found myself tensing against his touch, then easing into it. I wanted it. I was just as hungry as he was, just as passionate. It shook me to realize how much I wanted this, how much I wanted him. Every second that kiss lasted was another second meant for the truth to sink in.
I’ve already stopped even thinking or dreaming of a life that didn’t have Derek Novak in it.
When our lips parted, I found myself gasping for breath, but desperate for more.
He held me tight.
I sensed his need, his desire for me to stay when he whispered into my ear:
“You don’t want to leave.”
At that, I broke down into tears. He was right. Whether I liked it or not, home had become wherever Derek Novak was.