chapter 4
It’s Saturday afternoon, and I’m stuck at work, sitting behind the counter at the bakery. It’s completely deserted, but I’m keeping myself busy checking Facebook and other updates on Francesca. There’ve been a few stories circulating about her near-drowning, ranging from a drunken party foul to a suicide attempt. But my friends and I have known Francesca for a long time, and I just don’t believe she would walk out into the ocean at night and let herself get swept away.
The bell on the door jingles. “Welcome to—” My heart jumps, and I have to bite back my smile. Harlin looks genuinely surprised to see me and quickly combs his fingers through his hair. The small gesture is adorable, and I twist the end of my ponytail as he approaches.
“Well, hello,” I say with a little laugh. “How did you know where I work?”
Harlin lifts his eyebrows. “Would you believe this is a coincidence?” I shrug, hoping it’s not. Hoping he’s here for me. “Honestly”—he flashes that knockout smile—“I’m just here for a coffee. But seeing you—that’s definitely a plus.”
“Charmer,” I tease, even though I am, in fact, completely charmed. For a moment, the rest of the world is just a blur around us. There’s only me and Harlin. But then the phone rings, snapping me back to reality. “Hold on,” I say, and cross to the end of the counter.
“Costas Bakery,” I say into the phone, glancing over my shoulder at Harlin. He’s staring up at the menu like he’s contemplating his order, but I’m still not totally sure this is a coincidence. Then again, I could be reading too much into it.
“Hey, Claire,” Ezra says on the line. I turn quickly around, guilt crawling over me. “How’s work?”
“Good,” I say, lowering my voice. “How’s home?”
“Boring. Are you almost done?”
“Uh . . . yeah. My mom’s at the store, but I can leave when she gets back. I’ll come see you after my shift?” Harlin’s presence on the other side of the counter is a magnetic pull, something I can’t seem to ignore. I pivot slightly and see him scrolling through his phone. As if sensing me, he lifts his eyes to mine. We both smile.
“Sounds good. I’ll see you then,” Ezra says, drawing me back. I murmur a good-bye and hang up, but for an instant I stand there, wondering what’s wrong with me. I haven’t actually done anything wrong . . . but it sure feels like I’m about to.
“I’ll just have a black coffee,” Harlin says to my back. Does he know I was talking to my boyfriend? Is he jealous? Does he have a right to be?
“Sure.” I pour Harlin’s drink in a to-go cup even though he didn’t ask for one. The longer I’m around him, the more comfortable I feel. The more I like him. I should probably squash this flirtation right now.
“I really didn’t know you worked here,” Harlin says, taking the cup from my hand. “I wanted a coffee, and when I rode by . . . I had to stop.” He takes a tentative sip.
I wait to hear if the coffee’s okay and use the moment to look Harlin over. He should probably shave. I bet he’d be stunning all cleaned up, although this rough-around-the-edges thing works too.
“Do you want a cupcake?” I ask, my urge to rush him out fading.
“You wouldn’t happen to have a bacon maple bar, would you?”
I scrunch my nose. “What? No. That sounds disgusting.”
“It’s good. I’ll have to take you for one sometime.”
Butterflies. “Where?”
Harlin grins. “Portland.”
“Pretty long day trip.”
“We could stay the night.”
I laugh, taking a step back because it feels like my face is about to catch fire. I quickly tap the keys of the cash register as Harlin relaxes against the counter, studying my reaction. I didn’t say no.
“Dollar fifty,” I say, trying to steer us to polite-strangers conversation. It doesn’t work, though, not when he’s watching me like that. And since we’re both back to grinning like idiots, I decide I have to be clearer. “I can’t run away with you.”
Harlin pauses to pull out his wallet, handing me a few bills. When he looks at me again, he seems amused by my directness. “Sure you can.”
The bakery door flies open as my brother strolls in for his shift, Soleil talking animatedly beside him. I’m suddenly nervous they’ll be able to see the attraction between me and Harlin, which in itself isn’t a huge deal. But it will mean torture later when my brother has a new way to embarrass me. Harlin glances over his shoulder, and River stops short, quickly looking between us.
“Where’s Mom?”
“Store.”
“Interesting. And who’s this?”
“That’s Harlin,” Soleil answers for me. She takes a seat at the nearest table and makes a kissy face to Harlin’s back. I laugh and shake my head for her to stop.
“Right,” River says. “I saw you at the bonfire last night.” He looks at me. “And I believe the two of you were together then, too. Hm . . .” He presses his lips in mock suspicion. Kill me now, please.
I turn to Harlin, nonchalant as possible. “I’ll see you at school on Monday,” I say, swiping a white rag over the counter even though it’s not dirty. I try not to stare, I honestly do, but when Harlin’s eyes meet mine, I’m once again swept up in the feeling I have when I’m around him.
“I can’t wait,” he murmurs, and lifts his coffee in thanks before turning and heading toward the door. My heart sinks. I really don’t want him to leave. Which is exactly why he has to.
River tsks, shaking his head slowly. “What would Ken think about you flirting with one of the Outsiders?”
“I wasn’t flirting,” I say. “But even if I was, Ezra would understand that talking with an attractive guy isn’t the same as running away with him on his motorcycle.”
“He has a motorcycle?” Soleil asks.
I pause, furrowing my brow. Does he? “I don’t know,” I murmur. “I’m not sure why I said that.”
“Uh, maybe you’re fantasizing a little much here, Claire,” River responds. He exchanges a playful look with Soleil.
“I’ll say.” Soleil laughs, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m surprised the windows weren’t steamed up when we walked in.”
“Stop,” I warn. Oh, fun. It’s gang-up-on-Claire time. “I hate both of you.”
“Dang, girl,” Soleil responds, slowly shaking her head. “Did you get a sunburn today? You sure are red.”
“Like a tomato,” River adds.
“Okay, great,” I say, untying my apron and ready to die of embarrassment. “I’m going in the back while you two comedians finish your routine.”
“Don’t be a baby,” River says, taking the apron from my hands. “We’re just messing with you.”
“Besides”—Soleil leans against the table—“it’s not like you like him like him. You have Ezra.”
I’m reminded of Lucy’s comment at the bonfire. That if the Frisbee had missed me, had hit Soleil instead, maybe she and Ezra would be the couple. It hadn’t occurred to me before. But now I suddenly wonder.
“Yep,” I say.
Soleil smiles slightly, her brow furrowed. She tosses another glance at River just as the bell over the door jingles. We all turn, and I’m pleasantly surprised when I see Lucy. She’s wearing a short pink halter dress and has sunglasses on her head. She looks like she belongs at the beach—like maybe she’s trying to blend in.
“Hey!” I call. I hadn’t really gotten a chance to talk to her at the bonfire, and to be honest, I’m kind of curious about the deal between her and Harlin. The way they were glaring at each other, there has to be a story here.
“I’m taking you up on that latte offer.” She smiles broadly. “Oh.” She pauses, looking at the apron in River’s hand and then back at me. “Are you done for the day?”
“Yeah,” I respond. “I can still get you a drink, though.”
She shakes her head. “No worries. I was just trying to get out of my apartment. Actually, do you want to grab some lunch? I heard there’s a great Mexican restaurant on the beach.”
Soleil turns to me, waiting for my reply. “Yeah,” I tell Lucy. “I’m starving, and El Fuego has the best guacamole. Let me just clock out.”
Lucy nods, and I ignore the curious stares of River and Soleil. I’m supposed to go over to Ezra’s, but I’m sure he won’t mind if I stop for lunch first. It’s not like I’m going with another guy. With Harlin.
I punch my time card, and River appears next to me. “Stranger danger, Claire. First the motorcycle guy and now the new girl in town. You’re like some kind of rebel. It was rude not to invite Soleil at least.”
“I . . .” I’m about to argue, but then I see that River is right. It was rude not to ask Soleil to come along. She is my best friend. “I’ve been off lately,” I tell River. “I’ll invite her now.”
My brother continues to eye me like he’s trying to discern what’s wrong with me, and I go back to the front. But it’s just Lucy standing near the glass door.
“Where’s Soleil?” I ask, glancing around the room.
“She left,” Lucy says. “Said she had to go check on someone.” Lucy shrugs, and I grab my purse from behind the counter. Guess I did piss her off. I’ll call her when I get back, make sure she knows I wasn’t trying to be rude. “You ready?” Lucy asks.
El Fuego is a small restaurant just off the sand, with loud wallpaper, a half dozen tables, and killer guacamole. Most people sit at the outside bar to enjoy the ocean view, but Lucy and I opt for indoor seating because it’s air-conditioned. The temperature is really climbing.
“Have you always lived in Deseo?” Lucy asks after the server sets down a basket of chips. She dips one in guacamole and takes a bite. “This is good.”
“Told you.” I get a chip of my own. “Yep, I’m Californian, born and raised. My dad grew up here too. My mother’s family is from Mexico, but she and my dad met in culinary school twenty years ago. I’m the baby of the family.”
“The bakery was really cute,” Lucy says. “Do you enjoy it there?”
“Uh . . . sure. I mean, it could be worse. I could be working in some sketchy restaurant or out in the sun.”
“Well, then, you would have hated where I grew up. Dusty and hot and the only kinds of restaurants they have are sketchy. But I guess it had some charm. At least that’s what my dad says. He’s a pastor.”
“Are the two of you close?” I ask.
“Yeah.” Lucy smiles. “Yeah, we are.”
A sudden sadness crosses my heart. “I’m close to River. My parents are usually busy, and my other brothers are always gone. Sometimes it’s like River and I are on our own. I don’t know what I’d do without him.”
Lucy lowers her eyes, stirring her soda with a straw. “Ever feel like you don’t belong here?”
I don’t answer right away, as I consider that until yesterday I’d never felt out of place. Now I’m not so sure.
“I feel like that sometimes,” Lucy says quietly. “It was why I left Thistle. I didn’t belong anymore. Not without my sister.”
A knot forms in my stomach. “What do you mean? Did something happen to her?”
Lucy doesn’t look up. “She ran away.” I gasp, but she’s quick to explain. “Elise is all right. Just moved on, I guess. But I plan to bring her back. Dad and I . . . we aren’t a family without her.”
“I’m so sorry. Do you know where she is?”
Lucy glances up. “Not yet. She’s laying low. But I’m confident I’ll get her to come home. I’m just going to hang out in Deseo until she comes around.”
“I’m sure she will.” I smile, trying to be encouraging. In truth, I can’t imagine what it’d be like if one of my brothers just decided to run off—not to college, but to start over without us. It must hurt. What if River did that? What would I do?
The server delivers our food, and Lucy and I are quiet as we dig into our enchiladas. Now that I know about her sister, I feel like there’s a bond between us. I feel like I could tell her anything.
“Do . . .” I pause, my cheeks reddening. “Do you know a guy named Harlin?”
Lucy’s fork slips from her fingers and clatters on her plate. She apologizes quickly and picks it up, but from that reaction, I guess she does know him. Now I’m not sure I want to know the answer. If he has a girlfriend—
I stop the thought. Who cares if he has a girlfriend? I do, in fact, have a boyfriend. I need to remember that.
“Yeah, I know Harlin,” she says calmly. “He used to date my sister.”
My stomach sinks. At the bonfire, Harlin told me he wasn’t friends with Lucy. Why did he lie to me? “Is that why your sister left? Did she leave with him?”
Lucy wipes her hands on her napkin and tosses it on top of her plate. “No. She broke his heart. I don’t think he expected her to go away.” She sighs. “Harlin and I aren’t on the best of terms right now.”
“I noticed.”
Lucy laughs and glances around the quiet restaurant. “I should probably let you go,” Lucy says. “I got a job at the movie theater. Don’t want to be late for my first day.”
I take out cash and hold it up for the server. “I got this,” I tell Lucy.
“That’s sweet,” she says, looking touched. “Thank you.”
Once the bill is paid, Lucy and I walk toward my car. As we cross the parking lot, Lucy points toward the bus stop. “You go on ahead,” she says. “I’ll take the bus so I can time out the route. If I like this job, maybe we can barter lattes for movies.”
“I approve of this plan. Good luck.” We say good-bye, and when I get into the sunbaked air of the Jeep, I smile. It’s nice to hang out with someone new once in a while. And the fact that she knows Harlin—it’s weird. And sure, they’re not friends, but she knows about him. I can’t deny that I’m curious to hear what else she has to say when it comes to Harlin.
When I pull up to Ezra’s, I’m surprised to see Soleil’s car parked out front. She was annoyed with me earlier, but it’s not usual for her and Ezra to hang out. At least, not without me. God, not having a phone sucks. I feel completely out of the loop.
I climb the front porch steps, pulling out a stick of gum and popping it into my mouth before knocking. When the door opens, Ezra is in midlaugh.
“Hey, Becks,” he says, leaning against the doorframe. “I thought you forgot about me.”
I look behind him into the house but don’t see Soleil. Ezra is wearing swim trunks, his shoulders red because he never wears sunscreen. He must have been hanging by the pool. “I ended up having lunch with the new girl, Lucy,” I tell him. “Sorry—I should have called before I left the bakery.” I glance back at the car. “Is Soleil here?”
“Yeah,” Ezra says, coming out onto the porch to wrap his arms around my waist. His skin is hot as I run my hands down his back. “She stopped by to see how I was doing after last night.” Ezra kisses my cheek and hugs me close. “After that we decided to swim until you got here.”
Again, I’m struck by how strange that is. Then again, maybe I’m being paranoid. I pull back and kiss Ezra quickly. “I didn’t bring my suit,” I say. “Should I run home and get it?”
Ezra laughs into my hair. “Absolutely not.”
“Not skinny-dipping.”
“Okay, sure.” Ezra grins, and points toward the house. “Soleil’s here anyway. Did you want to say hi?”
“Uh . . .” I look down the hallway to where I know the pool is located. “I’ll see her when I get back.”
Ezra shrugs and gives me a kiss good-bye.
I walk off the porch, sort of dreading coming back. I’m not exactly sure why—but it’s weird. I feel so distant from my life. From Soleil. And from Ezra.