“No.” Lang’s voice was barely a whisper, but the twitch in his nostrils and the grinding of his teeth—I knew I had crossed a line. . . . And like a punch to the throat, I choked. He did care about her.
And goddammit, I didn’t know what to do with that. “Does she . . .” I gulped back nausea and dropped my hands. “Does she know how you feel?”
Lang’s chin lifted. “No. Not yet. A girl like her is on the Mississippi more often than she is not. Yet that does not mean she shouldn’t be courted properly. I would never buy her feelings, Mr. Sheridan. Never. And as for her father, I will pay for his medical treatment and provide him with a healthy pension. But I will not change my decision—no matter how I feel for his daughter.”
I stared at him, not sure what to say. My stomach wasn’t sitting right. It was moving into my chest . . . spinning into my throat. . . .
But Lang seemed to misunderstand my gawking. He gave a frustrated groan. “I am the president of a company, Mr. Sheridan. As much as I might wish for Miss Cochran’s affection, I must think of my employees first. Of their safety. Or . . . am I wrong to assume he gave you that bruise?” Lang motioned to my face—to my still-healing eye. “I may seem like a man who cares only for himself, but that could not be further from the truth. Now.” In an elegant arc he swooped down and snatched up the ax. “I believe we have an engine to fix, and if you have finished lecturing me about Captain Cochran, then I suggest we get started.”
Again, all I could manage was a stare. Because Lang was right, and I didn’t know how to handle that. I couldn’t go to Cassidy and beg her to pretend Lang wasn’t a better man. . . .
And that hurt the most—that made my stomach feel like lead. I couldn’t compete against Lang. He was an heir with education and poise; I was a pickpocket off the streets of Chicago. He was the president of a company; I was a fugitive with a bounty on my head. He intended to court Cassidy proper . . . and I had just taken her with no thought for what she wanted.
With a tight exhale I forced my head to rise, fall, and rise in an accepting nod. “You’re . . . right, Mr. Lang.” I swallowed and held out my hand. “We have an engine to fix, and I’m wastin’ time. Give me that ax.”
“I can manage—”
“You deserve a break,” I growled. “Plus, I feel like smashing the hell out of something.”
It took us another eight hours to navigate past Devil’s Isle and into Natchez. With most of the firemen gone it was hard to keep the furnaces burning. And hard for me to manage both engines by myself. Lang tried, but the man didn’t know a throttle from a gauge. And he sure didn’t know the command bells.
It was just as the sun reached the middle of the eastern horizon that the city landscape finally shifted from dismal black forest to a hill of bright green. Natchez’s enormous mansions and brick-front shops watched us from high atop its hill, and a brilliantly blue and cloudless sky floated overhead. The dirty wharf below was unusually packed with steamers as we approached. I could only assume they were visitors here to see the race.
The Queen had traveled two hundred and sixty-eight miles in twenty-two hours and fourteen minutes—a full four and a half hours behind the Adams. But the fanfare that met us suggested that no one cared. Spectators lined the hilltop city’s edge and the muddy wharf below, and their wild shouts and exultant music drifted out to the Queen the instant Natchez came in sight.
It was a complete contradiction to everything that had happened only a few hours before. It made me feel . . . heavy. At odds with the world.
Lang took his leave the instant we hit shore—he was over four hours late to his own presidential party. But before he left, he paused in the engine room door and offered me his hand. “Please accept my apology for earlier, Mr. Sheridan. I let my temper get the best of me.” He pumped my arm once. “You were only looking out for your friend. Loyalty like that—and a concern for others—is a quality I appreciate. So, if you can move past your frustration with my decision over Captain Cochran, then please know the offer still stands for your license.” He then tipped an invisible hat at me, his goofy grin flashing briefly, and he left.
I watched him go, massaging my still-bruised eye. Sure, I could forgive Lang for firing Cochran—I could even acknowledge it was the best decision for his fleet.
But I couldn’t forgive him for loving Cass. He was a man who could give her everything she wanted—everything her sister wanted too. Even with my engineer’s license and a tidy salary, I could never afford that.