"I think they were going to keep me until I was older, then turn me. Aunt Tasha wouldn't let them take me. They tried to reason with her, convert her too, but when she wouldn't listen, they tried to take her by force. She fought them - got really messed up - and then the guardians showed up." His eyes drifted back to me. He smiled, but there was no happiness in it. "Like I said, an army of Death. I think you're crazy, Rose, but if you turn out like the rest of them, you're going to be able to do some serious damage one day. Even I won't mess with you."
I felt horrible. He'd had a miserable life, and I'd taken away one of the few good things in it. "Christian, I'm sorry for screwing things up between you and Lissa. It was stupid. She wanted to be with you. I think she still does now. If you could just - "
"I told you, I can't."
"I'm worried about her. She's into all this royal stuff because she thinks it's going to get back at Mia - she's doing it for me."
"And you aren't grateful?" The sarcasm returned.
"I'm worried. She can't handle playing all these catty political games. It isn't good for her, but she won't listen to me. I could...I could use help."
"She could use help. Hey, don't look so surprised - I know there's something funny going on with her. And I'm not even talking about the wrist thing."
I jumped. "Did she tell you?..." Why not? She'd told him everything else.
"She didn't need to," he said. "I've got eyes." I must have looked pathetic, because he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Look, if I catch Lissa alone...I'll try to talk to her. But honestly...if you really want to help her...well, I know I'm supposed to be all anti-establishment, but you might get the best help talking to somebody else. Kirova. Your guardian guy. I don't know. Someone who knows something. Someone you trust."
"Lissa wouldn't like that." I considered. "Neither would I."
"Yeah, well, we all have to do things we don't like. That's life."
My snarky switch flipped on. "What are you, an after-school special?"
A ghostly smile flickered across his face. "If you weren't so psychotic, you'd be fun to hang around."
"Funny, I feel that way about you too."
He didn't say anything else, but the smile grew, and he walked away.
SEVENTEEN
A FEW DAYS LATER, LISSA found me outside the commons and delivered the most astonishing news.
"Uncle Victor's getting Natalie off campus this weekend to go shopping in Missoula. For the dance. They said I could come along."
I didn't say anything. She looked surprised at my silence.
"Isn't that cool?"
"For you, I guess. No malls or dances in my future."
She smiled excitedly. "He told Natalie she could bring two other people besides me. I convinced her to bring you and Camille."
I threw up my hands. "Well, thanks, but I'm not even supposed to go to the library after school. No one's going to let me go to Missoula."
"Uncle Victor thinks he can get Headmistress Kirova to let you go. Dimitri's trying too."
"Dimitri?"
"Yeah. He has to go with me if I leave campus." She grinned, taking my interest in Dimitri as interest in the mall. "They figured out my account finally - I got my allowance back. So we can buy other stuff along with dresses. And you know if they let you go to the mall, they'll have to let you go to the dance."
"Do we go to dances now?" I said. We never had before. School-sponsored social events? No way.
"Of course not. But you know there'll be all kinds of secret parties. We'll start at the dance and sneak off." She sighed happily. "Mia's so jealous she can barely stand it."
She went on about all the stores we'd go to, all the things we'd buy. I admit, I was kind of excited at the thought of getting some new clothes, but I doubted I'd actually get this mythical release.
"Oh hey," she said excitedly. "You should see these shoes Camille let me borrow. I never knew we wore the same size. Hang on." She opened her backpack and began rifling through it.
Suddenly, she screamed and threw it down. Books and shoes spilled out. So did a dead dove.
It was one of the pale brown mourning doves that sat on wires along the freeway and under trees on campus. It had so much blood on it that I couldn't figure out where the wound was. Who knew something so small even had that much blood? Regardless, the bird was definitely dead.
Covering her mouth, Lissa stared wordlessly, eyes wide.
"Son of a bitch," I swore. Without hesitating, I grabbed a stick and pushed the little feathered body aside. When it was out of the way, I started shoving her stuff back into the backpack, trying not to think about dead-bird germs. "Why the hell does this keep - Liss!"
I leapt over and grabbed her, pulling her away. She had been kneeling on the ground, with her hand outstretched to the dove. I don't think she'd even realized what she was about to do. The instinct in her was so strong, it acted on its own.
"Lissa," I said, tightening my hand around hers. She was still leaning toward the bird. "Don't. Don't do it."
"I can save it."
"No, you can't. You promised, remember? Some things have to stay dead. Let this one go." Still feeling her tension, I pleaded. "Please, Liss. You promised. No more healings. You said you wouldn't. You promised me."
After a few more moments, I felt her hand relax and her body slump against mine. "I hate this, Rose. I hate all of this."
Natalie walked outside then, oblivious to the gruesome sight awaiting her.
"Hey, do you guys - oh my God!" she squealed, seeing the dove. "What is that?"