12
JARED PULLED INTO THE DARKENED FIGHT FOR IT PARKING LOT. I grabbed my car keys from my purse, and was about to get out, when he said, “Wait!”
I let go of the car door handle and turned to him. My hair fell forward and I hastily brushed it back.
“What is it?” I asked.
“I don’t like the idea of you driving home alone so late-”
“I’m not going home without my car,” I interrupted.
“I figured as much,” he snorted. “I’d just appreciate it if you’d call me.”
“I don’t have your number,” I stated.
“Exactly,” he grinned.
I sighed and pulled my phone out of my purse. “What’s your number?” I asked. He rattled it off and I entered it in. A second later his phone beeped with a text. With a smile, I said, “And now you have my number.”
He chuckled as I climbed out of the massive vehicle. I closed the door and he rolled the window down.
“Next time, I’ll bring you a step stool,” he chortled.
“Next time?” I put my hands on my hips.
“Oh, there will definitely be a next time, kitten. You already agreed when you said you wouldn’t run,” he winked.
My legs turned to jelly.
“Don’t forget to call me. I’ll worry,” he looked at me, seriously.
“I’ll call,” I whispered and turned to unlock my car. I whipped back around and he froze in the process of raising the window. He pushed the automatic button and it went back down. “Thank you for tonight,” I looked him straight in the eye. “Thank you for making me feel normal.”
“You’re welcome, Katy,” he smiled. “I hope you’ll give me many more opportunities to make you feel normal.”
“Bye,” I waved, awkwardly, before opening my car door.
His laugh filled the air as I closed the door and started the engine. He waited patiently for me to leave first.
He honked his horn lightly, and waved, when we headed in separate directions.
My heart stuttered in my chest and I wondered if it was possible to feel something for Jared so soon, and if I would ever fully be able to let go of my past.
~***~
“Jesus Christ! You scared the crap out of me!” I exclaimed, putting my hand over my heart. “What are you guys still doing here?”
Piper and Rollo stared back at me.
“We wanted to hear how your date went!” Piper exclaimed.
“It wasn’t a date,” I answered automatically.
“Who cares,” Rollo grabbed my hand and pulled me into the small living room and down onto the couch. “Tell us about it!”
I told them about the park, the food Jared had brought, the movie, and about the stars. I left out our serious talk.
Rollo’s blue eyes grew wide. “It was definitely a date!” his voice went high-pitched with excitement. “Stop trying to fool us!”
“It-” My phone started ringing. “Shit! I forgot to call Jared and tell him I was home!”
I grabbed my phone and answered. “I’m so, so, so, sorry! I got home and discovered a few unexpected guests.”
Jared chuckled. “It’s okay. I was just worried. I’m a worrier. I think it comes from having to deal with my off-the-wall sister.”
I laughed. “Well, I’m home and I’m sorry for worrying you.”
“No need to call the cops? Are you sure I don’t need to come over and take care of these unexpected guests? You know I will,” said Jared, a small chuckle in his voice.
I giggled. “It’s just Rollo and Piper. I’m fine.”
“Good…” He paused. In a low voice, he said, “Goodnight, kitten.”
“Night,” I whispered and hung up the phone.
Jared had turned my stomach to knots.
Rollo whistled. “Jare-bear is calling to make sure you’re home safe? Phew,” he fanned himself. “I really hope he has a sexy gay brother because I think I’m in love.”
“Rollo!” I laughed.
Quietly, Rollo said, “You really like him, don’t you?”
I sighed, and looked out the back window. “I think I do. There’s something different about him. He doesn’t expect anything from me. I don’t feel pressured when I’m around him. I feel… free.”
“Baby cakes,” Rollo said, “It’s about damn time.”
I smiled. “Yeah, it is.”
~***~
I settled into the chair in Sharon’s office, as she looked me up and down.
“How have you been since our last session?” she asked, crossing her legs.
“Better, a lot better,” I smiled.
A smile spread across her face. “I’m so happy to hear that. I take it, there haven’t been any more… breakdowns, for lack of a better word?”
“No, no breakdowns. For the first time in two years, I’m finally starting to feel like my old self. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a long way to go, but I’m finally starting to feel normal again.”
“You have no idea how happy I am to hear that, Katy,” she scribbled something down on her notepad. “You’re making progress.”
“I’m trying,” I mumbled.
“I can see that,” she said. “You look… alive. For so long, you’ve just been this vacant shell, now you have color in your cheeks and you smile more. This is great progress for someone that has been in the emotional state you’ve been in.”
“Yeah,” I rubbed my hands together. “I just wish the nightmares would go away.”
“Nightmares?” Sharon questioned. “You’ve never mentioned having nightmares to me.”
Crap!
“Oh… uhm… I haven’t said anything to you about them?” I looked anywhere but at her.
I heard her drop her notepad onto her mahogany desk.
“Katy, I will never be able to fully help you if you keep things from me,” she leaned closer to me.
“They’re just nightmares. Everybody has nightmares,” I replied.
Sharon took a deep breath. “Maybe so… but your nightmares are tied to what happened to you. You need to be more open, Katy. You have to stop internalizing everything.”
“I just want them to go away and they don’t. Every night, I close my eyes and relive that night. Over and over again,” I spat, tears threatened to burst from my eyes. “Nothing I do, makes it go away.”
“Tell me about the dreams,” she prompted.
I took a deep breath. Sharon was really beginning to get on my nerves.
“Speaking them aloud, only gives them the power to hurt me more,” my voice shook.
“No,” Sharon raised a pale brow, “it gives you the power to heal.”
A knock sounded at the door and she held up her finger for me to wait.
“Yes?” she prompted and the door swung open.
The receptionist stood there, awkwardly. She shook her head and said, “Mr. Johnson is here. He says it’s an emergency and he needs to see you, now.”
Sharon sighed.
“I’m sorry, Katy. We’ll have to pick this up next Tuesday. I need to see him.”
“Not a problem,” I said, grabbing my purse and slinging it over my shoulder. I was so happy to get out of there and not have to talk about my nightmares. Halfway out the door, I called over my shoulder, “I’ll see you next week!”
I got in my car and checked my phone.
I had a missed call from Jared. I rang him back but he didn’t answer. I left him a quick message and then called Rollo.
“Rollo.” He answered.
I rolled my eyes. “Want to go get some pizza? I’m in major need of cheese and grease.”
“Sure,” he said, “Can you pick me up?”
“Of course. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
~***~
“This is so delicious,” I moaned. “Seriously, the best pizza I have ever had.”
Rollo laughed. “Slow down, baby cakes. This isn’t an eating contest.”
“I’m starving,” I replied, around a mouthful of cheese.
“Have you not eaten anything, today?” Rollo asked.
I shook my head. “I woke up late and didn’t have time to eat breakfast before class, and then I had to go straight to Sharon’s.”
“You really need to eat your breakfast, Katy, because the way you’re attacking that pizza is frightening.”
“You’re mean,” I growled, taking a sip of iced tea.
“Baby cakes, I’m honest, there’s a major difference between honest and mean,” he sprinkled some Parmesan cheese onto his pizza.
“Yeah, one makes me want to bite you,” I snapped.
He chuckled. “You’re too busy devouring that pizza to bite me.”
I stuck my tongue out at him, just as my phone started ringing.
Rollo snatched it off the table before I could even put my pizza down.
“Oooh! It’s Jare-bear!” he exclaimed, causing a few people sitting around the pizza shop turned to look at us.
“Give me that!” I hissed.
“I don’t think so,” he leaned away from me, stretching back in the chair. He hit the ANSWER button and said, “Hello?”
I heard Jared’s voice rumble on the other end.
Rollo snorted. “No, this is Rollo. I’m gay, definitely not trying to get in your girl’s panties so stop giving me the third degree for answering her phone.”
Jared chuckled.
“Give me the phone!” I tried to grab it from Rollo.
“Not yet,” Rollo told me and returned to the conversation with Jared. “We’re at Mario’s, having pizza, you should join us… that is if Katyrina hasn’t eaten it all by then.” A pause. “Good, see you in a few.”
Rollo hung up and handed my phone back.
“I hate you so much right now,” I glared at Rollo. “Like, seriously, hate you with a burning passion.”
Rollo rolled his eyes. “Puh-lease, baby cakes, once Jared and his perfect ass gets here, you won’t be hating me anymore.”
“No, I’m pretty sure I will,” I glared down at my slice of pizza, suddenly not hungry anymore.
“Well,” Rollo said, “you better turn that frown right side around, real quick. Hot bod just pulled up.”
“Shit,” I whispered under my breath.
I heard the door open from behind me and my body instantly jolted awake, like someone had struck me with a live wire. Every part of my body, even ones I’d long ago believed dormant, were aware of Jared’s presence.
Even before ‘the event’, no one had affected me this way.
“Hey,” Jared said, standing awkwardly beside the table. He was dressed casually in dark blue sweatpants and a tee. He wore a baseball cap low over his eyes.
“Hi,” I squeaked. I felt completely awkward after our… whatever you wanted to call it, because I refused to think of it as a date.
“I was just heading out,” Rollo stood. He looked at me and winked. “See you later, baby cakes. Take care of my girl,” Rollo clapped Jared’s shoulder.
Jared smiled at me and hooked his thumb over his shoulder. “I’m going to go get some pizza,” he turned to head to the counter but suddenly he was back in front of me. “Please, don’t run, Katy. Especially when I have my back turned.”
“I promised you, no more running. I’ll be here,” I played with my napkin.
“Okay,” he slowly eased away. I could see in his eyes that he was sure that I’d leave as soon as he turned around.
As much as I may have wanted to do that, I couldn’t. Not to Jared.
His back bumped into the counter and with a chuckle, he turned to give the gaping girl behind the counter his order. She was obviously starstruck by Jared, and honestly, I couldn’t blame her. Forget his good looks; there was just some kind of magnetism about him that drew people in, including me.
He finished giving his order and turned his head slightly to peer at me from the corner of his eye. When he saw that I caught him peeking, a grin took over his face. He shook his head and paid for his pizza, dropping the change in the tips jar.
“I’ll bring your pizza out to you when it’s ready,” the girl blushed. “Oh! And here’s your drink!”
“Thanks,” I heard Jared say, before he made his way back to the table.
He grabbed up Rollo’s paper plate and drink cup and tossed it in the trashcan. I blushed, knowing that I should’ve done that.
“So,” Jared said, taking the seat across from me, “what have you been up to today?”
“Um… classes… and some other stuff,” I mumbled, playing with my hair.
“Care to elaborate on this other stuff?” He leaned forward and those chocolate eyes bore into me, pleading with me to spill my guts.
“Not really,” I finally answered.
“Aww, come on, kitten. I honestly want to know and I’m not the kind of person to judge. You know that,” he batted those super long lashes at me.
Oh Lord, I was putty in this man’s hands. What had happened to me?
I took a deep breath and decided to take the plunge. “I was seeing my therapist.”
“I see,” he said, taking a sip of his Mountain Dew. “Been there, done that.”
I blanched.
“Shocking, I know. But as I have eluded to, my past isn’t all that great,” he waved his hand through the air. “A therapist can help… if you open up and talk to them. Unfortunately, I always had trouble with both and I’m going to go out on a wild limb here and say that you do to.”
I sat there, dumbfounded, my mouth opening and closing.
How could one person understand and read me so well? It was like my soul was an open book to him.
“Am I right?” he raised a brow.
“Y-yes,” I stuttered.
“I know how hard it can be to open up to people, especially someone that scribbles everything you say in a notebook,” he said. “But there are certain people out there that you can trust, Katy. You can trust me, and I believe that I can trust you. I just don’t think you’re ready for the truth, yet.” He sighed and leaned back in the chair so that the front legs didn’t touch the floor. “Besides, according to our deal, I can’t tell you my story until you tell me yours.”
“You might be waiting a long time,” I whispered.
“Kittycat, I would wait forever if that’s what you wanted, but there’s a fire in you and I know that soon, the inferno will consume you and you’ll open up to me. Then, you’ll finally be free.”
“Like a phoenix rising from its ashes?” I asked with a raised brow.
“You don’t miss anything,” he said. The girl appeared at our table with Jared’s pizza.
“Here you go. Can I get you anything else?” she asked, in a soft, quiet voice.
“No, but thank you,” he flashed her a smile.
She scurried away.
“Do you mesmerize everyone you come into contact with?” I asked, before taking a sip of my tea. Ew, the water had started to melt, leaving the tea weak.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jared chuckled, grabbing up a slice of pizza covered in… well, everything.
“Oh please,” I crossed my arms over my chest. “All you have to do is bat your eyelashes and people are falling at your feet.”
He gazed at me and batted his lashes. “I don’t see you falling at my feet. They must not be working right,” he prodded his eye. “Maybe, I should try again.”
“You’re full of it,” I laughed. A real, genuine, carefree laugh. The kind of laugh that leaves you with tears in your eyes.
“Finally! She laughs!” Jared exclaimed.
“Thank you, I needed that,” I said, using my napkin to dab at my eyes.
“I’m just glad I could help. I hope you’ll give me the chance to make you laugh more often. You know what they say?”
“What?”
He swallowed a bite of pizza. “’Laughter is the best medicine.’”
“You really believe that?” I asked, not mocking him, but truly curious.
“Yes,” he answered immediately. “Laughter can cure anything, when you laugh, it pushes the darkness out of your soul.”
“You’re a strange dude,” I shook my head.
“I prefer to think of myself as a deep thinker,” he winked. “Not strange.”
“Well, you win on both counts…” I paused, “I don’t even know your last name.”
“Seriously?” he put his pizza down and his mouth hung open. “I never told you?”
“No,” I shook my head.
He grinned. “Why don’t we use tonight as a little, get to know each other better, session. Deal?”
I chuckled, “Deal.”
“My full name is Jared James Reed. I’m twenty-four years old. I have a sixteen-year-old, pain in the butt, little sister named Karlie. She lives with me, and most days I want to ring her neck, but I love the squirt. My best friend, who you saw me with at Tate’s, is Holden. His last name is Marks, since you make such a big fuss about knowing people’s last names,” he winked. “You already know I do MMA and so does Holden. Dan and his wife Patsy, who own Fight For It, took my sister and I in when we were foster kids. Thanks to them, I’ve turned into a halfway decent man. I owe them everything. Now, Katy,” he leaned towards me, his eyes boring into mine, “tell me about yourself.”
I swallowed. I hated talking about myself. I’d rather go to the dentist.
“My name is Katyrina Grace Spencer,” I pronounced it, Kat-a-reena. “I’m an only child, to a single mother that didn’t want to raise a child. I pretty much raised myself, despite the nanny. No pets. Rollo has been my best friend since we were in diapers, because our mom’s are best friends. My mom would love for me to leave school and marry a lawyer or doctor, but that’s just not me. I see a therapist once a week, because I’m messed up, I mean what other reason does one have for seeing a therapist?” I laughed, humorlessly. “I spend most of my time doing homework. I hope to become a counselor so that I can help other people not become like me. Overall, I’m the most boring person you’ll ever meet.”
“No, I actually find you quite fascinating,” he looked at me like he was trying to solve a puzzle. “So, you’ve got mommy issues… and I’d assume daddy issues as well, if he was never in the picture, but… I don’t think that’s the reason you’re so closed off.”
“No?” I raised a brow.
“No, someone else hurt you, Katy. But unlike what you believe, you’re not broken, at least not beyond repair. Just so you know, I plan on picking up all the pieces and super gluing them back together.”
I believed him, I really did, but I also believed that he might shatter me again. I knew if Jared broke me, I’d never be put back together, again. The pieces would be too fine, like grains of sand, not like the pieces of broken glass that they were now.
~***~
“Promise to call me when you get home,” Jared said, walking me to my car as we left Mario’s.
“I promise,” I laughed.
“I’m serious,” he said.
“I know you are,” I unlocked my car. “I’ll see you at Fight For It. The last self-defense class is this week.”
“I’ll see you then,” Jared said, leaning in. For a second, I knew he was about to kiss my cheek, but he pulled away and took his baseball cap off. He rubbed his hair and then pointed at me. “Call me.”
I watched him get in his car, before I finally found my legs again and got in my own.
It was late when I got back to my condo. I clutched my purse tightly to my chest as I made my way through the parking lot, through the lobby, and into the elevator.
I opened my door and immediately locked it behind me, leaning against it for support.
In just a few weeks, Jared Reed had managed to completely turn my world upside down. I think I would be okay if it never turned right side up again.