Unnatural Acts

“I’ve got a better idea.” Sheyenne swooped after him and snatched the bomb out of the golem’s arms. “A simple explosion isn’t going to hurt a ghost at all.”


Before I could argue with her (not that I had much of an argument to make), Sheyenne dashed through the open front door and rose into the air. I’d never seen her move that fast, but she was unfettered and motivated.

“That was nice of her,” the golem said as we all stepped out into the night to watch where Sheyenne had gone.

Ruth came up beside me, looking into the sky with admiration. Sheyenne had vanished with the bomb, swooping over the building tops. “Good thing your girlfriend was around.”

Neffi agreed. “We don’t get many ghosts at the Full Moon. Can’t provide services for intangibles, other than as spectators.”

The succubus looked away. “I think it’s best if I take this opportunity to leave. I’ll go to the Hellhound bus station, take the red-eye out of town, and ride wherever the ticket takes me. Thank you for everything you’ve done, Dan, but I don’t want to cause any more trouble. I told Sheyenne what a nice guy you are . . . but if I’m around, she’ll always have her doubts.” With that, Ruth hurried down the sidewalk, carrying a suitcase that she had already packed.

I decided it was best not to give her any more than a quick goodbye. At the moment, I was more concerned about Sheyenne, even though I knew she wouldn’t be vulnerable to a bomb blast. Still, the thought was unnerving.

At the stroke of midnight, a flash of light appeared far away, and a second later we heard the thump of an explosion. I wondered how far Sheyenne had made it, or where she was trying to go. Resounding cheers came from the few lingering Full Moon clients and the golem guards.

When Sheyenne returned, I was so elated to see her that I threw my arms around her in a large air–bear hug, despite the fact that neither of us would feel it. She was excited, her eyes filled with ectoplasmic adrenaline. “You should have seen it, Beaux! Missy Goodfellow’s going to have a big mess to clean up.”

“Missy? What did you do?”

“Remember that warehouse where they store all the souvenirs for her gift shops? It was closed down for the night, but coincidentally, that’s where the bomb landed right before it went off. Silly little Kreepsakes scattered everywhere.”

I laughed, imagining the scene. I took even more delight in imagining the expression on Missy’s face when she learned of it. I sure hoped that she hadn’t stored her collection of pawned hearts and souls there.

Sheyenne muttered under her breath, “That’ll teach her to send goons to beat up my boyfriend.”

I took her arm in mine (or at least I tried to), and we left the Full Moon together.





Chapter 44


McGoo showed up at the offices the next day, as I figured he would. Exploding bombs had a way of attracting attention.

“You here to get a statement about the bomb at the Full Moon?” I asked.

“Technically, yes.” His expression grew serious. “Mainly, I wanted to make sure you were all right.”

“Thanks,” I said. I still felt disheveled and tired. Even for a dead guy, I’d had a rough day and night.

McGoo stood inside the reception area by Sheyenne’s desk and regarded me with a stern look, but couldn’t hide the relieved smile behind his stony expression. “You always get yourself in trouble, Shamble. When are you going to stop making extra work for me?” He shook his head at my more-battered-than-usual appearance. “Even on a good day, you look like hell—but now you look like you’re from the Ninth Circle of Hell.”

“You don’t know the half of it.” I wasn’t going to tell him about being roughed up by Missy Goodfellow’s demon goons earlier that evening, and I had grudgingly decided not to turn in Shakespeare’s ghost for burning down his own stage.

He brightened. “Oh, and also—why’d the vampire get fired from the blood bank?” I groaned even before he answered. “For drinking on the job!” Then I couldn’t help laughing.

“And what does a vegetarian zombie say? Graaaaaaaiiiins!”

“You’ve overstayed your welcome, McGoo. Sheyenne and I will give you any details we can, but Madam Neffi and her girls will be more helpful. Cinnamon was the one who received the bomb threat—the caller said it was a warning from Senator Balfour.”

“Nothing would make me happier than to nail the senator with this,” McGoo said.

“The new adult novelty store was shut down,” I said. “Locked and sealed up with an injunction tacked on the door.”

McGoo gave a somber nod. “I predict that’s only the first in a long line of dominoes to fall. It’s only a matter of time before they shut down the Full Moon, too. His minions think they have a free pass now that the Unnatural Acts Act is law.”

Robin came out of her office. “Not if I can help it. I’ve been writing legal challenges to stop the Act in its tracks.” She looked drawn and haggard enough to be impersonating one of the undead. Robin had consumed a full pot of coffee, freshly brewed in our new pot, even though she didn’t usually drink coffee. In circumstances like these, however, chamomile tea wasn’t going to be sufficient.

“All this makes me very nervous, Shamble,” McGoo said. “The Quarter just isn’t as friendly a place as it used to be.” And that was saying something, coming from him.

After McGoo left, I gave a wan apologetic smile to Sheyenne. “With all the excitement yesterday, I forgot to mention that we have free passes to Shakespeare in the Dark tonight. Want to see The Tempest with me?” I held out the tickets. “Front row seats.”

She took the tickets and smiled at me, still a little uncertain. “Another try at a real date?”

“Exactly—just you and me this time, some quality time together.” I lowered my voice, felt awkward. “Spooky, you know there was nothing between me and that succubus. I just felt sorry for her, like a big brother.”

“I knew she wasn’t your type, Beaux . . . but a girl gets worried when her boyfriend finds excuses to keep going to a brothel day after day.”

“Not excuses—business reasons.”

Robin retreated to her office. “I’m staying out of this one.”

Travis sauntered through the door and made our day even worse. After he had hurt Sheyenne—repeatedly—and then become the poster child for Senator Balfour’s crusade against unnaturals, I couldn’t think of any persona more non grata in our offices. Oddly, he seemed oblivious to his own sliminess. Smiling as he entered, he pretended to be everybody’s best friend. “Hey, sis! It’s been a long time. I just wanted to say hi.”