Some Dreams Do Come True
At first I thought he was there to kill me, but he just watched. I decided to call the large man following me Bob. Bob followed me all day. At first Bob tried to hide himself, but soon he realized (I waved at him) that I knew he was there. Whether behind a tree, around the corner, riding in a different elevator, I knew Bob was with me. He watched Snaffles and I go around the block; he meandered through the park as Toby and I walked in it. Bob stood outside Charlene’s building when I went to see Oscar. But Oscar was gone. The apartment was empty. I hoped Charlene had come for him, but an open window worried me. I filled his food and water, just in case he decided to come home.
After my work was done, Bob followed me to the subway and observed me get on a train headed for Brooklyn. I don’t know why Bob didn’t kill me. Maybe the mayor was saving that for himself. Or maybe, just maybe, he was afraid of me. I’d proved myself pretty hard to kill I thought as the train passed over the Manhattan Bridge, and I looked out into the darkening skyline. Maybe I made Kurt Jessup nervous, and just maybe he didn’t know what to do about me.
I went to Nona’s, picked up Blue, and went walking. I headed deeper into Brooklyn. Blue followed me, not bothering to pull over for whiffs of trees or sniffs of trash cans. He stayed directly behind my left leg; we moved in unison.
I wasn’t looking for answers or a solution or anything, I was just walking. I was a little surprised when I found a gun shop. “You ever used one of these before?” the greasy man on the other side of the counter asked me. I didn’t answer him.
“I want one that holds a lot of bullets.” I paused. “And I need a silencer.” The man’s yellowed tongue shot out and flicked at his chapped lips.
“You need a permit for that kind of thing, you know.”
“Show me that one.” I pointed through the glass at a nice-size silver gun. He placed it in front of me. “Can I get a silencer for this?” He turned around, opened a drawer, and came back with a black silencer. He screwed it onto the end. “I'll take it,” I told him. He put the gun down in front of me.
“It takes a couple of days. You can’t just walk out of here with a gun.” I pulled out my mother’s envelope of guilt money and laid hundred-dollar bills on the counter until the gun was in its box, in an unmarked bag. I held a bill in the air and asked, “Bullets?” He dropped a box into the bag. I placed the bill on the top of the stack, picked up my purchases, and left. The weight of the bag filled me with a deep and satisfying pleasure.
That night on Nona's couch, I dreamed I was on top of the mayor, pushing on his eyes. But this time I didn’t p-ssy out. This time I pushed his eyes into his head. Blood exploded out the back of his skull, and he laughed and laughed.
Moving
I decided to take the gun to work with me the next day. It is illegal to carry a gun in New York City, let alone one you don’t have a permit for, but I didn’t care. If anything, I liked the element of danger the gun brought to my daily life. I liked the weight of it in my purse but decided that I wanted a shoulder strap just like the good guys on TV—or maybe a garter holder. Wouldn’t that be sexy?
A large woman sat across from me on the subway as I pictured the perfect place to put my pistol. She was not just wide but also tall. She sat in the middle of two seats, on the rise meant to separate them. She had long red hair with white roots, yellow teeth, and an under bite. Her tank top revealed soft arms with hairy pits. Her eyes were a clear, focused blue.
She was listening to an iPod that she held in one of her large, manly hands. “Ya’ll gonna make me lose my cool,” she half sang, half said out loud. “Take some shit,” she bobbed her head. “All was his pain, they say we could play the game.” On the chorus, “X is gonna give it to you, X is gonna give it to you,” she bounced with the music, first to the left and then to the right.
At the Brooklyn Bridge stop, a mariachi band boarded the train in costume. The beaded jackets and sombreros sparkled under the florescence. They began to play a sweet and sad song. The men swayed with the motion of the train and just managed to be heard over its squeaking and wheezing. The woman across from me continued to bounce and announce that X would indeed get us all. The mariachis sang a song I didn’t understand but guessed was about a love first found and then lost. One or two of the other riders glanced up to look at the brightly dressed men and then returned their gaze to whatever they had brought to look at. No one looked at the woman across from me.
My phone beeped to let me know I had a message as I stepped out of the dark subway into another sun-filled July day. “Hi, Joy. This is John Heart. Give me a call back when you get a chance.” I called him back.
“Joy, I wanted to let you know that we’re going to be able to let you back into your apartment this week.”
“I'm moving.”
“I can understand. The thing is, it’s a rental, right?”
“Yeah.”
“That means you’re responsible for the cleanup.” I couldn’t hear for a second as a bus barreled past me.
“Cleanup?” I asked.
“There are specialists who clean up crime scenes.”
“Specialists?” Here was something I had never thought about.
"Yes. They’re like house cleaners. I mean, they are house cleaners, but they just clean up after crime scenes. You know, spackle bullet holes, rip up stained carpet and replace it. Or in the case of hardwood floors they—I’m sorry.”
“That’s OK.” I thought about the stains that James had left in my house, about the bullet I fired into my molding.
“I talked to someone about taking care of it for you, and he’s willing to do it for $1,000. You should be able to recoup most the cost from the Crime Victims Reparations Agency.”
“OK.”
“Would you like me to arrange it?”
“Please.”
“Alright, I’ll call you back with some details.”
“John?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you know anything yet? Do you know who did it?” I held the phone hard against my ear and watched traffic fight forward.
“Not yet. We’re following some strong leads, though. I’ll let you know.”
“OK.” I hung up and put the phone in my bag, next to my gun, which I squeezed.
Snowball and I did not go directly to the dog run. Instead, we made a circle around Gracie Mansion. I tried to look in through the windows, but the reflection in combination with curtains prevented me from seeing anything. I wanted to see the mayor. I wanted to see what I’d done to his face. Snowball wanted to chase pigeons—a true waste of time.
I gave up on the mansion and headed over to the dog run. Bob joined me, a cup of coffee in his meaty fist. We walked along the river. I looked out at Hell’s Gate, its waters churning dangerously. A ship sank in those waters in 1780 and now, over 200 years later, people were dying because of it. How much treasure had the mayor found? How much treasure does it take to murder a man? I thought back to my own inability to kill and assured myself that it would not happen again.
Later that day, Snaffles and I walked into The Excelsior, a hotel on 80th Street between Second and Third Avenues. The Excelsior was built in the ‘70s and preserved. The lobby floor was covered in shag carpeting. A bizarre, faux crystal installation, reminiscent of Superman’s fortress of solitude, covered one wall. Snaffles sniffed with interest at a dark red stain. Bob waited outside, attempting to see through the tinted glass front door.
“Do you have suites?” The bored-looking man lounging behind the wood-paneled front desk nodded. He was the first person since the fight not to stare at my wounds.
“I’d like to see one.” He motioned to an eager young bellboy to come over. The boy half-ran, half-walked, in a way that made him look like a duck in a hurry. The guy behind the desk handed the bellboy a key and motioned for us to go with a flip of his wrist.
The elevator stuttered on its way up to the fifth floor. The bellboy smiled at me wildly and then stared stonily at the elevators bottom. Then the big smile again. The hallway we walked down was dark, not only because of the deep-brown carpeting and burgundy walls, but also because most of the lightbulbs in the fixtures that lined the corridor were burned out.
“Nice lighting,” I joked. The bellboy smiled back at me as he led the way to room 523. It was a shit hole. The brown carpeting from the hall continued into the living room of the suite. The walls, originally painted white, through years of smoking were stained the same yellow as old men’s fingers.
The couch was the same rough material of airport waiting seats. The coffee table, dotted with burns and scratches, wobbled. “Joanie loves Chachi” was markered onto the bathroom wall along with the news that Harriet was a slut. The toilet water smelled funny.
Beige carpet with cloud-like water stains covered the walls of the bedroom. The bed, large and lumpy, took up most of the floor space. The bellboy smiled at me shyly and pointed to the ceiling. It had a mirror on it.
“I’ll take it,” I told the man downstairs. “I’ll pay for two weeks now, and I want a discount. There is no way in hell I’m paying $250 a night for that shit hole.” He feigned surprise but got bored halfway through.
“One fifty,” he suggested.
“A hundred bucks a night.” I put $1,400 in cash on the counter between us. He shrugged, swept it up, and handed me the key. “One more thing.” I laid another $200 on the counter. “Anyone asks, I’m staying in room 784. You get me?” The man smiled and slid the money off the counter.
Marcus phoned while I was returning Snaffles to his empty house. “That cop thinks I killed James, that I was stalking you,” he opened with.
“I told him it wasn’t you.”
“You need to tell him again. I can’t work. I can’t sleep. They keep coming to talk to me.”
“That must be real hard for you.”
“It is. Joy, I’m scared,” he squeaked.
“Nothing is going to happen to you. You didn’t do it.”
“But,” he whined, “this is really hard.”
“Marcus. Who do you think this is harder on? You or me?” Silence. “How ’'bout you try watching your brother die, and then tell me about what’s hard, you prick.” I slammed the phone shut. It rang again almost immediately. Without checking the caller I.D., I started yelling. “Don't call me anymore!”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” came a voice I didn’t recognize across the line.
“Hello?”
“Hi, this is Marty Schwartman, James Humbolt’s lawyer. Is this his sister Joy?”
“I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else.”
He laughed easily. “I figured that one out. I’ve been trying to reach you but I think I had the wrong number.”
“Oh?”
“We need to talk about your brother’s assets. I’ve already spoken with Hugh Milton, the only other beneficiary.”
“OK.”
“Where do you work? I could come by on your lunch hour.”
“I’m a dog-walker on the Upper East Side.”
“Great. I’m in East Midtown. Where would you like to meet?”
“The Excelsior Hotel, room 523.” There was a pause on the other line, just long enough for me to notice but not long enough to be rude.
“Tomorrow, about 1?”
“Sounds good.”
Bullets and Money
Bob once again left me at the train station. I went back to Nona’s. She wasn’t there, so I wrote her a note thanking her for taking such good care of me and left my new address at the Excelsior. I packed the few items of clothing I had and put a leash on Blue. I picked up a bottle of tequila at the liquor store and then hopped on the subway acting like it was legal to bring a giant dog on the train.
Halfway there I opened the bottle of tequila and took a painful swig. A child watched me with big, glistening eyes. Her mother, without looking at me, distracted him with a colorful stuffed toy that had lots of legs.
I stumbled on the steps on my way out of the subway, scraping my knee on the filthy cement. Blue whined and licked my face. I picked myself up and walked to the Excelsior. The man behind the desk didn’t move as I walked by him to the elevator.
Once in my room I placed the bottle of tequila on the coffee table. I pulled my gun out of my bag and put it next to the tequila. I found my bullets and spilled them onto the coffee table. A couple of them rolled onto the floor. They were gold and pretty looking. I ran my hands over their smooth surfaces, pushing them around.
I woke up naked in bed with a big hangover. I walked barefoot into the living room and grabbed a $7 beer out of the mini bar and opened it on the bottle opener attached to my bathroom wall. I didn’t look in the mirror.
When I got to the dog run about a half-hour later, Marcia took one look at me and told me to go home. I started to protest, but when I saw that even Elaine was looking at me with pity, I put Snowball’s leash into Fiona’s outstretched hand and walked back to the Excelsior.
I took a nap on my face, on the couch. I woke up with drool on my cheek and a cramp in my back. Someone was knocking on the door. I stumbled on my shoes, then opened the door to a short, sweaty man wearing a suit and thick glasses. “Joy, I assume? Call me Marty.” He handed me a card that had his name on it followed by “Esq.”
“Come in.” Blue sniffed him intently before letting him pass. Marty took it well. I threw myself back down on the couch. Marty perched on the edge of the coffee table, ignoring that it was covered in bullets and spilled tequila.
“I’ve actually been working on this thing for a while. Like I told you, I couldn’t get ahold of you.” He opened his briefcase and pulled out a file. “Your brother left you his life insurance.” I nodded. He rifled through the folder. “So here is your check.”
“What?” I sat up too fast, and for a second my vision swarmed with black dots. He handed me the check. It had my name on it, and it was for $100,000.
“What do I do with it?” I asked stupidly.
“Whatever you want. It’s all yours.”
“Oh.” He stood up.
“Alright, Ms. Humbolt. I’m happy we got this sorted out. Good luck to you.” I stayed seated on the couch, and he let himself out.
“Thank you,” I said long after the door had clicked shut.
A Proposition
Hours later, after the sunset and the street lights turned on, Blue and I went out looking for food. Bob was asleep on one of the couches in the lobby. His face looked almost sweet in sleep. Bob had not shaved in a day or two. He was working on a nice set of crow’s feet. Bob’s hair was thinning, running away from his face. He didn’t look so big or so mean.
I got us a pizza covered in sausage. I was going to offer Bob a slice, but he was gone when we returned to the Excelsior. Blue ate his half quickly and loudly. I had a slice-and-a-half and then turned back to beer. Three beers later, Blue and I went out and got another bottle of tequila.
When I got back to my room, Mulberry was sitting on my couch. “That’s a fancy trick,” I said, trying to act as though I wasn’t surprised.
“You look like you’re healing well,” Mulberry stood and approached me. He reached a hand out to touch my face, and I backed away. “We need to talk,” he said.
I smiled, then grabbed two beers out of the fridge and headed into the bathroom to open them.
“So what’s going on?” Mulberry asked. I handed Mulberry his beer and leaned against the window still.
“You figured any of it out yet?”
“A bit.”
“Like what?”
Mulberry sat back down and took a slug of his beer. “There are tunnels leading from Gracie Mansion to the basement of Eighty-Eight East End, among other places.” I nodded. “I talked to a friend in City Planning, and, apparently, the rumor is the first passageways were discovered during the O'Dwyer administration. They decided to upgrade them and use them for security.”
“What else do you know?”
“The mayor, Kurt Jessup, right?”
“Yeah.”
“He killed Joseph and Tate because of something having to do with the coins Charlene had.”
“What do you know about the gold?” I looked out the window. Several stories down, industrial fans hummed.
“It’s old, British, and valuable.”
“It is from the H.M.S. Hussar, a very famous shipwreck, a long sought-after shipwreck. It sank in Hell’s Gate in 1780 with not only the British payroll but also pirated treasure. Then some 200 years later, the mayor found it.”
“He found the Hussar?”
I nodded with the beer to my lips. “He and Tate. Joseph knew about it and was helping them to cover the sale of the treasure, but then he got greedy.” Mulberry was paying close attention. “He got horny and greedy. He wanted to run off with Charlene and the treasure.”
“That’s why he was killed.”
“That’s why the mayor killed him. Why did he set up his wife?” Mulberry shrugged. “Because he thought it was really all her fault. If she had kept her man interested, he would never have tried to run off with Charlene and the gold.”
He sat back and took a long swig. I pulled the bottle of tequila out of my bag, running my hand over the gun on my way. I thanked Jesus that I had cleaned up the bullets before Mulberry broke in.
“Shot?” I asked. Mulberry’s eyes focused on the bottle. He shook his head. I opened the tequila, savoring the sound of the plastic safety seal breaking. I poured a large shot into a glass and drank it back, then shivered. “Kurt Jessup is not a good guy.” I leaned back, getting comfortable in my story. “He’s a bad egg.”
“Did the mayor bleed at your place at all?” Mulberry asked.
I smiled. “I tore the shit out of his face. That’s why he’s had the flu’.” I made my fingers into quotation marks.
“So that means his DNA is in the apartment. We should be able to nail him.” A look came over Mulberry. He could see the glory he was gonna get for cracking this case.
“No.”
“Of course I can! He’s totally f*cked.” Mulberry laughed.
“Oh, he’s f*cked, but you’re not the one who’s gonna f*ck him.”
Mulberry looked at me, his eyes narrowed. “What?” he asked.
“I'm going to kill him and steal his treasure.”
“Joy, you’re talking crazy.” Mulberry said.
“It’s going to be the stealing of the treasure that’s hard,” I said ignoring Mulberry’s judgment on my mental state. “I’m not sure how I’ll carry all that weight.”
Mulberry stood up. “You can’t do this, Joy. You’ll go to jail for the rest of your life.”
“Only if I get caught, which I don’t think I will.”
“You’re not a killer”
“Mulberry, you of all people should know that everyone is capable of murder.” He finished his beer and grabbed another out of the fridge without asking.
“I want you to help me.”
“What?” He spilled some of his beer on the carpet. “Shit.”
“You could use the money. I don’t even want it. I just want to take it. But you could use it. Think of the things you could do.”
“What?” I stood up, and he took a step back.
“You could help me plan it. Help me carry the treasure. Don’t worry. You won’t have to kill anyone. I’ll take care of that.” I took a step toward him. He backed away.
“You’ve lost your mind.”
“Mulberry what are sticking around here for?” I waved my arm at the room surrounding us. “"You’re on suspension for trying to solve a case. People think you’re corrupt. No one trusts you. When was the last time you woke up in the morning and felt like any of it was worth it?” He was pressed against the wall, and I was talking directly into his face. “Come on. Join me. Let’s steal some treasure.”
“You’re crazy.”
A flash of anger ran through me. “You’re a loser,” I shot back.
Mulberry’s jaw tightened, and I turned back into the room. I plopped onto the couch, leaned my head back and let my mind drift over images of pirate booty and murderous revenge. I thought I heard Mulberry crying, but when I turned to check he was looking at me with clear eyes.
“Do you even know where the treasure is?” he asked.
I smiled. “Not yet.”
“How are you going to find out?”
“With your help.”
“You’re nuts and I’m leaving.” He walked out the door, taking his beer and bad attitude with him.
It was raining when he came back. It always is in these dramatic situations, like the sky knows that someone’s life is changing—a change best symbolized by thunder, lightning, and rain. “Another beer?” I asked as Mulberry dripped on my carpet.
“I’ve been thinking.” He pushed his hand through his hair. It stayed flattened to his scalp.
“I figured.”
"I’ve been a cop for my entire adult life. My father was a cop. A good man.” I nodded. “I think you’re right that we’ll never get Kurt Jessup through regular channels of justice.” He paused, and a drop of water dripped off his nose. Mulberry bit his lip in concentration. Lightning crackled. “I just don’t know that it works.” He paused. “I guess I’ve felt this way for a while, maybe always.” He laughed, even though it wasn’t funny. “I just don’t know.”
The lights dimmed then brightened again.
“So you’ll join me.”
He flopped onto my couch, a smile across his face. “I guess I’m in. As insane as this is, I’m in.” I handed him a beer, clinked mine against it and said, “Welcome to this side of the ‘in it line.’”
Loose Ends
In the morning I went to the bank closest to the Excelsior and told the woman behind the bulletproof glass that I wanted to turn my check into cash as soon as possible. She looked down her nose at me, which was impressive, since she was sitting and I was standing, until she noticed the amount on the check. Then she turned polite.
“Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer to open an account with us? We have many ways to grow your money.”
“That’s alright; it’s plenty. I just want it to be cash.”
“You’re going to have to open an account, deposit it, wait for it to clear, and then withdraw it.”
“How long will that take?”
“With a check this large, it could take up to five business days.”
“Fine.”
I called Hugh and told him I wanted to take him out to dinner. He agreed to meet me at 7:30 at the Métrazur in Grand Central.
I called Elaine and told her she could have my route; I was quitting. She asked why and then remembered that it was a stupid question. “I’ll see you around,” I told her.
“I hope so.”
John Heart left me a message about getting my apartment cleaned that I ignored. I didn’t care about those stains.
I had lunch in front of Gracie Mansion. The mayor still had the “flu” and hadn’t made any public appearances since we last met. I wondered if he was thinking about me, if he wanted me the way I wanted him. I wondered what Bob had told him. What they were planning. Bob sat several benches down. I thought about asking him then changed my mind.
Oysters
I was ten minutes early to meet Hugh. The maître d’ at the Métrazur seated me in the mezzanine, Grand Central spread out below. The clock in the center of the marble floor marked each minute that passed. The ceiling, an unreal green blue with the constellations painted in thin gold lines, curved above me.
I ordered a gin martini and watched people hurrying below. There was a family, clearly from somewhere else, trying to figure something out. The father was smacking a schedule with the back of his hand while his wife rolled her eyes. Their daughter leaned on her Barbie suitcase and looked up at her parents bickering, bored.
I sipped and shuddered as the cold liquid filled my mouth and burned my tongue. Hugh arrived moments later and ordered a martini for himself and a dozen oysters to split. He smiled at me. I could tell he hadn’t been sleeping. “How’ve you been?” I asked.
“As good as can be expected.”
“Same here.”
“We both look like shit, huh?” Hugh smiled through chapped lips.
I smiled back. “Yeah. But we’ll be OK,” I said.
He shrugged. “I hope. I don’t know if I can do it on my own.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve been thinking about seeing someone.”
“I think that’s a great idea.” His martini arrived, and he sipped it deeply.
“I think people always think it’s a good idea for other people to see a therapist.” I laughed. “What about you? Don’t you think you could use some help dealing with this?”
“I’m alright. I’ve decided to leave.”
“New York?”
“Yeah, I don’t want to be here anymore.” I looked out at the crowd below us. The family was gone. Bob read a magazine near the information booth.
“Where will you go?” I turned back to Hugh.
“I don’t know. Just not here.”
“I didn’t think you would ever leave New York.”
“Neither did I.”
“When did you decide this?” Our oysters arrived. Twelve mollusks from the Atlantic Ocean, split open, laid on a bed of crush iced and served to us. I picked up a shell, squeezed lemon onto the grey, slimy creature inside and then tipped it toward my mouth. The shucker had separated the oyster from his shell for me, so it slid easily. I chewed, feeling the life, the insides, burst against my cheeks.
“Very recently. That’s why I called you. I wanted to tell you I was leaving,” I said. “I hope you’ll visit me wherever I go.”
“Of course Joy.” He looked at me for a moment and then continued. “Please don’t make yourself invisible.”
“What do you mean?”
“Joy,” he rubbed at his temples. “We both know how easy it is to disappear. Just don’t, please.”
“Hugh, I—”
“You’re all I have left of him, Okay. You’re the only thing left of him alive, don’t you dare f*cking disappear.” His eyes were suddenly hot with anger.
“I promise Hugh. I won’t disappear on you.”
I paid the bill with the last of the money from the envelope my mother dropped on me.