Chapter 30
Lexi kept several bike lengths between her and Adam as they wound through the woods, Emily at the head of the pack, Jake following as close as he could without actually sharing the stupid bike seat with her.
Missouri would have been torture, but at least she wouldn’t have had to watch Miss Who Needs a Prince turning her uncle into a pile of cooked spaghetti. Jake acted like an idiot around her—all “Don’t overdo it. Let’s take a break” and “I’ll rub your back.” Gag. Even from way back here, she could tell what he was saying just by the way his bike helmet tipped to one side and her shoulders shook in a lame giggle. Disgusting. Lexi made a vow to herself to never act like a toddler if she ever fell for a guy.
But she had bigger things to worry about than breaking up Jake and Emily. That plan was nothing compared to the new one. If Adam doesn’t cave. Her teeth clamped together and she tightened her hold on the hand grips. The monster was back, overtaking her brain. Grandma said it was hormones. But it wasn’t. It was Ben.
The trial was in two days.
She slowed down as they came to the bridge, listening to the rattling boards as the other three crossed. Lexi stopped in the middle and stared down at the calm green river. She liked it better when it looked like she felt—all rushing and foamy, sweeping things downstream in its hurry to get away.
The trial was in two days. The day before their birthday. Happy Birthday, kids, you get to spend the next five years with Blimpo.
Adam was the one who came up with the plan, but for the first time ever, she wasn’t sure she could trust him. They’d been stashing food in their backpacks for a week now and no one had noticed. Last night, Grandma had walked in and caught her sewing a carrier for Pansy out of a pillowcase. She had no choice but to tell her what it was. Grandma thought it was cute. No suspicion at all. The really tricky thing would be tomorrow night—breaking into their own house to get Mom’s emergency money without waking Ben.
That’s where Adam’s smarts came in handy. He’d found a six-pack of beer in Grandma’s basement. The dust and cobwebs meant it was old. Maybe it belonged to their grandpa and was older than they were. Adam’s plan was to leave it by the back door with a “Welcome Home, Ben” sign on it. Adam didn’t know if six beers was enough to make him pass out, but it should make him sleep sound. If they were lucky, the beer might be old enough to make him really sick. And die.
But Ben wouldn’t die—or even sleep—if Adam chickened out. He was starting to say things that scared her like, “Let’s just wait and see what happens. We can always take off on Monday after we know.”
But what if they didn’t get the chance? What if Ben won and they got handed over to him without warning? If Adam would just stick to the plan, things would work out. They’d sneak in late Sunday night, get the money, then get up really early Monday morning, before light. They’d leave a note for Jake and Grandma saying they were fine and they’d call home at six o’clock to find out what happened at the hearing. If Jake won, they’d come home. If Ben won, they’d disappear and hide out somewhere until Jake could find a new place—maybe Missouri, Adam said—where they could all live happily and no one would tell Ben.
That was another reason Emily being around was messing things up. Grandma’s best friends wouldn’t tell on them. Jake could talk to Topher and Tina and Colt, and they could come to visit and they wouldn’t tell anyone. But Emily acted like the kind of person who had to do the right thing all the time, even if it meant wrecking somebody’s life. Besides, if she told on them she’d get Jake all to herself.
Lexi couldn’t worry about Emily right now. But she didn’t have to hang around and watch. She got back on her bike and rode hard until she passed Adam. “I’m heading home,” she said as she pulled up next to Jake. “I’m not feeling so good.”
Emily slowed to a stop, and Jake fell in behind her like a trained puppy. “Do you think you’re coming down with something?” Emily reached out and put the back of her fingers against Lexi’s forehead. The way Mom used to.
Lexi drew back. “No.” She faked a smile and shrugged, trying to look embarrassed. “Just girl junk, you know?”
“Oh yeah.” Emily smiled. “I know.”
No you don’t. You don’t know at all. Lexi hopped back on her seat and pushed the pedal. You have no clue. Because you’re the girl junk making me sick.
“Guess I’ll leave you two alone.”
Adam got on his bike, but not before giving Jake a conspiratorial wink. Emily shook her head. “Did you pay them to leave?”
“You’ll never know.” Jake propped his bike against a tree just off the trail. “Let’s walk a bit. Back to the bridge.”
“I’m fine. My back’s great. You’re being overprotective. I don’t need this many breaks.”
“But I need to hold your hand.” He unlatched his chin strap and wiggled his eyebrows. “And the rest of you.”
Face warming like a teenager, Emily swung her leg over the seat and leaned her bike against his. “You unnerve me sometimes.” She hung her helmet on the handlebars and held out her hand. “Do you know that?”
“How so?”
“When you say something like that and don’t mean it to mean what it sounds like.”
“Say that again. Faster. I dare you.” He steered her onto the path. Sand and fine gravel crunched under their shoes.
“I’m used to guys who…”
“Mean what they sound like they mean?”
“Yes.”
“Don’t think I don’t want to do what it sounds like I say I mean.”
Emily stopped. Her eyes filled with laugh tears. “Thank you.” She gave free rein to the laugh. “It’s nice to be wanted by someone who won’t do what he wants to do.”
Jake dropped her hand and slid his across her back. “It’s nice to be with someone who likes to be wanted by someone who won’t—”
“Stop!”
“Am I unnerving you again? I like that. Not sure I’ve ever unnerved anyone before. And speaking of nerves…” He stopped and turned her to face him. “Do you know what a beautiful distraction you’ve been this week?”
“Distraction?” She hovered for a long, dizzying moment on the current generated by his hands on her back. The grin that backlit his eyes drew her like a weak-willed moth. “That’s all I am to you?”
“Yep, that’s all.” He rested his forehead on hers. “Just something to consume me with dreams of a possible future so I don’t get consumed with thoughts of the possible future.”
Closing her eyes didn’t stabilize the fantasies spinning in her head. She took his hand again and they walked in silence to the bridge. Grasping the rust-orange railing, she followed the tree-lined curve of the river. The water barely made a sound, so different from her first glimpse of it. Like her, it was peaceful. Unlike her, it was calm and steady.
Her present life felt like a photograph of a moving object, blurry and out of focus, yet fascinating. Not all of her brain chemicals had gotten the message that life had done a one-eighty. She still woke every morning feeling physically and emotionally stiff. And then she’d remind herself Sierra and Dawn Anne knew and forgave her, God knew and loved her anyway, Jake knew and couldn’t seem to keep his eyes, or his self-controlled hands, off her. Catching up to her new reality would take time.
A red-tailed hawk swooped low over the water. Farther down the bridge railing, two gray squirrels chased each other. Thoughts of a possible future swooped and scampered along with the wildlife. The whole morning had been a game of Let’s Pretend. Anyone who passed the four of them on the bike trail would have thought they were one small, happy family. Lord, can it be? She leaned into the arms circling her from behind. “How do you think the kids are doing?”
“They’re scared. Adam’s like me—he hides it by being the funny guy. Lex is hard to read. Must be that girl junk.”
“It does get in the way. Have the authorities asked them what they want?”
“The kids haven’t told us, and with all the privacy stuff, we can’t ask what they’ve said.”
“You know they want to be with you.”
“But are they too scared to be honest? Mom’s told them it will help if they detail everything Ben’s ever done, but you can see the fear in their eyes. What if Ben still has access to them if I get guardianship? Can you imagine how freaked out they must be?”
Emily turned in his arms and stared into troubled eyes. “Two more days and you’ll know.”
“Yeah.” His lips skated the length of her nose. “You’re coming with me, aren’t you?”
“To the hearing? Is that allowed?”
He nodded.
“Of course.”
“Know what?”
“What?”
“I’m glad we decided to live while we’re waiting for life to begin.”
Lifting her lips to meet his, Emily murmured her assent. “Me, too.”
Lexi pulled the plastic wrap off the gigantic bowl of potato salad and carried it out the back door and down the steps. Her feet acted like they were magneted to the ground. This didn’t feel like a fun Sunday picnic.
A car door slammed. Naomi, all tanned from the vacation Lexi should have gone on with her, ran up and hip-bumped her. “You shoulda been with us!”
“Tell me about it.”
Naomi bounced her curls in the direction of the grill where Jake flipped burgers and Emily turned the hot dogs and brats. Like that took two people. “Your plan’s not doing so great, huh? Or did you decide you like her?”
“Never.”
“She seems really nice. And she and Jake kinda look like they belong together. I bet if you gave her a chance—”
“Don’t you get it? Doesn’t anybody get it? It doesn’t matter that she’s nice. She’d wreck everything, mess everything up. And what about our plan? Your mom’s coming, isn’t she? That’s why she was invited to this stupid thing.”
Naomi looked down at the daisies on her toenails. “I got some bad news.” Her nose wrinkled like it did when she smelled peanut butter. The news couldn’t be all that bad—something she didn’t like, but didn’t hate either.
“What?” Any news would get her mind off tomorrow. And tonight.
“Are you ready for this?”
Lexi rolled her eyes. “I won’t know until you tell me.”
“My mom’s got a boyfriend. She’s been e-mailing the guy she went out with in high school and I didn’t know it, but our vacation was at the Dells so my grandma and I could meet him. It would have been so cool if it woulda worked out for you and me to …”
Lexi was good at smiling on the outside. It didn’t take much work at all anymore. Naomi followed her into the house and babbled while she took the cheese out of the fridge and arranged it on a plate. She babbled while she opened three bags and dumped them in bowls. She was still going on and on about the boyfriend and his two gorgeous teenage sons and his big house up north when they sat down to eat.
Emily hung the clean barbeque fork on the grill and pointed at the circle of chairs around the campfire. “Let me try this again. The three who are standing are Amy, Kerry, and Luis. Rich and Dom are on the bench, and the guy in the blue hoodie is Wayne, your lawyer. I already knew Topher, Colt, and Tina, and the guy in the Brewers hat is…uh…on the tip of my tongue.”
“Ralph. He installed your toilets. You shouldn’t forget his name.”
“You’re right.” She rested her head on his shoulder, thinking for the hundredth time this week that he was the perfect height for her. “This was a good idea. Everyone needed a distraction.”
“Everyone else needed one. I already have mine.”
“Nice to be useful.”
“Oh, you are.” He nuzzled her ear with his nose. “You are definitely useful.”
“Uh-oh. Interruption at two o’clock.”
Tina walked toward them, carrying a folded lawn chair. “We need to go pick up the kids and get them to bed. But first I want a tour of Emily’s house.” She aimed her I-told-you-so grin at Jake. “Can I steal her for a minute?”
Emily yawned. “I think I’m ready to call it a night.” She raised up and kissed the frown off Jake’s lips. “Send them home and get some sleep.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
They were barely out of earshot when Tina whispered, “Well? Is this a kiss-and-run or a kiss-and-stay-forever?”
“It’s not a kiss-and-run. I don’t know about forever yet.”
“But you want it to be, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“I knew it.”
Emily tuned in and out of Tina’s monologue about how she knew Colt was “the one.” The reverie continued until Emily opened the front door and turned on the new overhead lights. Tina let out a respectable gasp. “It’s amazing. So new, and yet you kept all the old feel.”
“Thank you. That could have been the tagline on my spec sheets, but with Dorothy buying it…”
Wide brown eyes flashed at her. “You’re still selling? Only if you and Jake don’t work out, right?”
“No. I mean yes, I’m still selling. If Jake and I…we’ll figure it out if that time comes.”
Tina’s long-legged strides loped through the dining room and into the kitchen where she continued to gush, not just about the house, but about how perfect it would be for a family of four. She headed for the stairs. “How could this not be your destiny, girl? Four bedrooms. One for Adam, one for Alexis, one for you and Kiss-and-Stay, and a nursery for the cute babies you guys will have.” Tina rubbed her bulging belly. “They’ll be buds.”
Happy place. She thought of Jake’s nose on her ear, his whispers sending chills skittering up her back. She had more happy thoughts than she’d ever need. She flipped on the bathroom light switch. “Jake said he found this light fixture in your barn.”
Tina squealed. “That used to be in my grandma’s dining room! See? It’s a sign. If you keep the house, I can come sit in your bathroom and feel like I’m having Thanksgiving dinner with Gramsy.”
The heart-stab from the nursery comment dissipated. Laughter was the only option. “If I were staying here, I’d keep a gravy boat on the counter just to make you feel at home.”
Tina’s eyes grew uncharacteristically serious. “Walk me back.”
She had no idea what possessed her to agree. Tina was silent until they crossed the street.
“Jake won’t ditch you. You know that, don’t you?”
She’d shared almost nothing of her past with Tina. Was it that obvious?
“Maybe I’m wrong, and it’s none of my business, but if you’re holding back because you think he’s going to dump you, you’re dead wrong.” They reached the redbrick house. Colt sat in the car in front. Tina gestured to the side of the house. “Now go get one more good-night kiss.” With a quick hug, she sprinted toward the car.
Emily was a step from the backyard when she heard her name mentioned. She stepped back and crouched close to the edge of the house.
“…did what I told you.” The lawyer’s courtroom voice carried around the corner. “You tell them you’re getting married and you’ve got a major leg up over Madsen. I’m telling you, man, she’s your lottery ticket. With Emily in your pocket you got this sewed…”
The last thing she heard before she ran was Jake’s laugh.
November 2, 1852
“Must I come?” Hannah offered Papa a spoon of cooling apple Betty.
Papa shook his head. “It would look odd if you didn’t accompany me.” He slipped one arm into the frock coat he wore only for church or business, or supper with cousins he’d rather not see. “We cannot be guided by fear, Hannah.”
Her mouth puckered. She should have used more sugar. “The way Cousin Jonathan looks at us, it’s like he knows. He knows what kind of man you are. How could he not suspect that you are actively involved? I don’t like this. Why are they back so soon? I feel like we’re walking into one of Liam’s wolf traps. Only they’re the wolves who should be trapped!”
Papa’s eyebrow rose high. “Funny you should bring up Liam.”
“What do you mean?” Hannah ran a finger under the high, and suddenly too tight, collar of her calico dress.
“Put on your coat.” He lifted it from a hook by the back door. A hook made by Liam. “We’ll talk as we walk.”
Her fingers trembled. She counted buttons. Twenty-four. She slipped damp hands into gloves and followed Papa out the front door and down the steps. He said nothing until their shoes echoed on the planks of the bridge.
“There are rumors.”
“Abou—” Her voice rasped, disappearing beneath the rush of water and the echo of their footfalls.
“About you and Liam.” His voice was stern, without a trace of approval. “Mrs. Baker came into the store this morning. Apparently Dolly has shared some things with her I assume you told in confidence.”
Bile rose in Hannah’s throat. Clamping a glove over her mouth, she prayed the spoonful of apple Betty would stay down. “Wha— what did she say?”
“That your father is dumb as a post.”
“She did not!” Relief tumbled like the dark water at the tease in his voice.
“No, she did not. But clearly I am. Would you like to tell me what I am too obtuse to figure out on my own?”
Hannah stopped beneath the gas lamp in front of the bank. She needed to see her father’s face before answering. What she saw was not disapproval, but a hint of fear—the very emotion he’d just told her they could not be guided by. “We are in love, Papa.”
“The feeling is mutual?”
“Very much so.”
Papa’s eyes closed briefly. “What are his intentions?”
“The highest. You know him. He—”
“I thought I knew him. Go on.”
“He won’t ask me to marry until he is making more money.”
Papa nodded, took her elbow, and they walked to the door of the Union House. “I imagine there is more to it than that. He is, as you say, a man of the highest intentions. He is protecting you, Hannah.”
“From what?”
“From being linked to him as a coconspirator should he ever…” The sentence went unfinished. “I’ll not allow that. There is far too much danger in being seen with him.”
Her breath stopped.
As Papa grasped the door handle, he smiled. “But if that boy would like your father’s blessing to court you secretly, he’d best come and ask for it.”
Hannah gasped. The apple Betty rose again then settled back where it belonged, but there was no way her belly would calm enough to allow her to eat.
Cousin Jonathan stood as they approached the table. Hannah hugged him with more exuberance than ever before. His mind-reading stare and evil politics wouldn’t touch her tonight. As always, he tolerated the embrace as well as he would a bucket of ice water. Hannah kissed Victoria’s powdered face and tried not to sneeze as she sat down.
“We took the liberty of ordering.” Jonathan motioned for the innkeeper’s wife.
Hannah slid the ivory napkin from her plate and twisted it in her lap. Liberty? You dare use that word? She concealed her ire with a tight smile. “How was your trip?”
“The new road is a marvel.” Jonathan fiddled with his collar as he prattled on about the wonders of the plank road stretching from Janesville to Racine. Papa joined in.
Hannah stared at the pressed tin ceiling, hearing nothing, as she imagined Liam shaking like a schoolboy when he came to Papa, hat in hand, asking for permission to court his daughter. The secrecy only added to the romance. Liam, wait until you hear what—
Two men pushed past the innkeeper’s wife. She stumbled. Water doused Hannah’s sleeve. She jumped out of her chair. The tallest man, unshaven and streaked with dust, pointed at her. “It’s true,” he whispered, turning to Jonathan. He took a step toward her. Hannah gasped. “We didn’t find the letters, but we found something else. There’s a room in the cellar. Not for storing potatoes.”
Hannah clutched her stomach. Dolly was the only one who knew of the letters.
The man grabbed her arm.
“Leave her be. She’s just a girl. It’s him you want.” Jonathan pointed at Papa and the two men advanced. Three men rose from the bar and yelled at the men to step away from him.
There was nothing she could do for Papa. With all eyes on her father, she slipped around the ruckus and ran outside. She ran and didn’t look back until she got to the back door of the blacksmith shop. Please, someone be here. She knocked. One knock, followed by two. Please. The door cracked open, showing a sliver of Jim’s face, then flew open. “Hannah! What is it?”
“Two men. They got Papa. I need your horse. I have to warn Liam.”
“What men? What did they say?”
“I can’t…explain now. Your horse…please.”
“Can you ride?”
“Yes.” She hadn’t ridden a horse since they’d moved into town, but it would come back to her. It had to.
Big Jim moved like a man half his width. In five minutes she had mounted his massive roan and was flying over the bridge. The shoed hooves clamored like church bells ringing out danger.
Father God, protect Papa. Her mind scrambled to picture the cellar room. What had they found? What proof that could hold him? It was a storeroom, swept clean since the last guests, and lined with barrels of apples. No different from any other cellar.
Unless they lifted the barrels and the lids of the benches, dug beneath the burlap sacks, and found blankets and bandages and clothes of every size. Oh God, hear my prayer. If they have not found those things, blind their eyes. She thought for a moment of turning back, of taking the clothes and stuffing them in the walls with the letters. But time was precious. All that mattered was Liam.
A half moon crouched between tall, skinny pine trees. The sky was deep blue, the color of the velvet dress Mama was buried in. An hour from now she might not find her way home. She might not want to go home. She willed her thoughts to fill with hope, but nothing slowed the tympani of her pulse as the horse pounded the dirt.
The church roof, silhouetted against the night sky, marked her turn. Mama, can you see me? Shadows slithered around the gravestones. Hannah shivered and turned her eyes back to the disappearing road. It wasn’t far. A mile, maybe two from the church. Please, let there be lights lit. A plot of cut corn to her right, and then the house, small, low, far from the road. Firelight glowed from a tiny window. Hannah slowed the horse.
She’d never been to Liam’s house. Never even seen his mother. She needed an excuse for being there. Papa. She’d say her father was hurt. No…Jim. Big Jim needed him. That would make sense. She knocked. Heard footsteps.
The door swung open and a wild-eyed man stood in front of her, a squat brown jug swinging from one finger.
“I…I need to talk to Liam.”
The man laughed. “Sure ‘n’ you would, lass.” He stepped onto the porch. “Not nearly as much as you’d like to talk to his da, now, would ya?” The wind whipped at the stained muslin shirt that hung to his knees.
Hannah took a step back.
“You’d be the shopkeeper’s daughter now, I believe,” His hand lifted to the tie of her bonnet.
“Leave her be!” Liam shoved into him. The older man’s scarred, dirty hand flew back and clipped his jaw.
Liam reeled. “No more! That’s the last time you lay a hand on me, old man.” His fingers curled into a fist.
The sound of his knuckles smashing into his father’s face was the last thing Hannah heard as her legs gave way beneath her.