Chapter Fifteen
Sally didn’t know how long she’d sat there on the floor but, as the tears dried, the anguish turned to such anger she was shaking with it. She left her bedroom and opened Florrie’s door. The room still stank of her sickly perfume, but the drawers and cupboard were empty. Florrie had gone. ‘You bitch,’ Sally breathed. ‘You absolute bitch.’
She returned to her room and slowly began to pick up her clothes. It was soon clear that Florrie had taken her best skirt, her favourite blouse and the lovely sweater Peggy had given her at Christmas. But the loss of those expensive navy and white shoes was the final straw. The bitter tears over her mother’s betrayal fell silently down her face as she carefully folded her things back into the drawers and hung up her remaining jacket and two skirts.
Once the room was straight again, she went to wash her face and brush her hair, but as she stared at her wan reflection in the bathroom mirror, she felt a stab of fear that made her go cold. She raced down the stairs and into the dining room. The trunk was still there by the machine – but had Florrie taken her pick of the clothing Sally had laboured over for other people?
She knelt in front of it, and sighed with profound relief. A sturdy padlock had kept Florrie’s thieving hands at bay – and she knew she had Peggy to thank for that. But how shaming it was; how utterly awful that Peggy had thought to do it at all.
It just proved to Sally that she’d known what Florrie was capable of, but had this knowledge tainted the trust and love she’d been so certain of before today? Had it brought back memories of the accusations of theft at the factory? Her name had been cleared then, but would the doubts now be setting in?
Sally slowly went into the kitchen and put the kettle on the hob. As she waited for it to boil, she came to the conclusion it was a good thing she was leaving; for now, every time Peggy looked at her, she would see Florrie and wonder. She made the tea and took it upstairs. They would no doubt soon be home, but she didn’t yet have the courage to face them.
She was curled up on her bed when Peggy found her a short while later. ‘Sally? Oh, Sally, I was hoping to get home earlier, but the picture overran, and we could only walk at the same pace as Mrs Finch.’
Sally scrambled to her feet and hastily swiped away the remains of her tears. ‘She’s gone, Peggy. Cleared off and taken half me clothes and all me money.’
‘I had a feeling she might,’ she replied, ‘but the money’s safe. She didn’t take that.’
It was as if a great beam of light flooded the room as Sally stared at her. ‘But the jar’s gone – how …?’
‘I took it,’ she said hastily. ‘I was going to do something about it yesterday and it’s been worrying me ever since. I came up after you’d gone to work, found your door unlocked, and decided to put the jar in the floor-safe in my room.’
‘Oh, Peggy,’ she said, her voice hitching on a sob. ‘Thank you, thank you. I’m so sorry you’ve ’ad all this trouble. I feel so ashamed.’
Peggy wrapped her in her arms as she sobbed. ‘You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of,’ she soothed. ‘I’m just sorry you had to go through all this. That’s why I wanted to get home earlier, so I could explain what I’d done with your money before you discovered it was missing.’
Sally gently withdrew from Peggy’s embrace and blew her nose. ‘I can never thank you enough,’ she said, unable to meet her eye. ‘But it’s a good thing I’ll be leaving soon, cos then you won’t ’ave to keep locking doors.’
‘That’s quite enough of that,’ said Peggy sternly. ‘I have always trusted you, Sally, and I’m shocked you should think I’m so shallow as to believe you are anything like your mother. This is your home – will always be your home, even when you leave to start an independent life, as Anne is doing. So don’t you dare think otherwise.’
A spark of hope ignited. ‘You mean it?’
‘I never say things I don’t mean,’ she said, bristling. ‘Now, dry those eyes and sit down for a minute to catch your breath. A few bits of clothing can soon be replaced, so there’s no real harm done.’
‘But she took them – those – lovely shoes you gave me, and the sweater. I could never replace those.’
‘I’ve got a wardrobe full of Doris’s cast-off shoes, and I can always knit another sweater. Come on, Sally,’ she said with a soft smile, ‘cheer up, love. Worse things happen at sea, and at least she didn’t make off with all your sewing. Ron found that padlock in his shed, and the key’s quite safe.’
‘Oh, Peg, Ron and the others don’t know about her, do they?’
‘They didn’t need to know anything. We all love you and have absolute faith in your honesty, so why taint it with Florrie’s actions?’ She gave a little sigh. ‘You see, I heard you and Florrie last night, and saw you going downstairs with the things she’d filched. I so wanted to say something then, but it was clear you were already very upset, and I didn’t want to make things worse.’
Sally slipped her arm round her waist as they both sat on the bed. It was so good to know this lovely woman and her family really did care about her and Ernie. ‘How am I going to explain to Ernie that Florrie’s done a runner?’
‘Tell him the truth. I don’t think he’ll be too upset,’ said Peggy. ‘He’s hardly seen her since she arrived, and from the little he’s said, I think he rather wishes she hadn’t come at all.’
Sally nodded, accepting Peggy was right. ‘But where could she have gone? She got the sack today, so Solomon won’t take her in.’
‘She probably headed straight for the station and the first train out.’
‘But the trains aren’t running.’
‘Actually,’ said Peggy, ‘they are. I had a call from the Billeting Office this afternoon. You and the boys will be leaving the day after tomorrow.’
‘So soon?’ she whispered.
‘That’s why we thought we’d go to the pictures as a last treat for the boys. It turned into quite a family outing. Anne made it back from her interview in time, Cissy didn’t have a show tonight and Mrs Finch decided she didn’t want to be left behind. We even bumped into Pearl in the town and she joined us.’ She gave a soft chuckle. ‘Only Ron was absent. He decided to sit and watch Rosie Braithwaite instead of The Wizard of Oz.’
‘I wish I could have come too,’ she murmured.
‘We’ll all go when you come back home – and that’s a promise. Now, come on, Sally, wash your face and brush your hair. Everyone’s downstairs, and with only two nights left before this family is cast to the winds, we must make the best of them.’
It was a warm, happy evening, despite the knowledge it would be one of their last together for what could turn out to be a long time. The three false alarms which had them scurrying back and forth across the garden hadn’t helped much, but it wasn’t until Sally was getting Ernie ready for bed that he asked about Florrie.
‘She’s gorn, ain’t she?’ he said, as he grimly withstood the wet flannel that was being energetically scrubbed round his neck and ears.
‘Yes, love. She’s gone back to London.’
‘Didn’t she like it ’ere?’
‘Not really. I think she missed her mates back in Bow.’
‘She don’t like us, either, does she?’ Ernie’s brown eyes studied her closely. ‘Cos she never come to play with me. And I ’eard you and ’er ’aving a row last night.’
Sally was shocked he’d overheard and didn’t quite know how to answer him. ‘Families always have rows,’ she said, drying him off. ‘Me and Mum never really got on, but I’m sure she likes us really.’
‘Well I don’t like ’er,’ he said with a grimace. ‘She ain’t cuddly and nice smelling like Aunt Peg. I’m glad she’s gorn.’
Sally gave him a hug. She hadn’t been fooled by his brave words – he was bitterly disappointed in Florrie, and her leaving him again after such a fleeting and unsatisfactory return had been a bitter lesson for them both.
She put him to bed and read him a story. When he was asleep, she pulled on a cardigan and went back downstairs. The house was quiet now everyone was in bed, and she slipped out of the front door into the night. She was exhausted, but knew she was far from sleep, and the soft, salty air and the sigh of the sea against the gravel were calling her.
It was a beautiful night, with a million stars twinkling against the velvet black of the heavens. There was a bomber’s moon, shedding its glow over Cliffehaven’s roofs and empty streets, gilding the destruction and chaos into an almost magical landscape.
She reached the seafront, having avoided being accosted by wardens or watchmen, and although she knew she shouldn’t be wandering about on her own, it was good to breathe in the clean air, and to have time to let her thoughts wander as she drank in the essence of Cliffehaven.
As she instilled the sights and scents into her heart, she knew these memories would sustain her all the while she was away, for she would miss this place much more than she’d ever missed Bow. It was here that she’d discovered what a real family was; it was here that she’d come to learn that life could be better if only she took the time and effort to improve her speech, and to learn to read and write. It was also here that she’d experienced her first kiss, and the heartbreak of losing the man she’d thought had returned her love.
Staring out at the water that glistened like silk beneath the moon’s glow, she pulled her cardigan more firmly over her chest. His name still echoed in her heart, but soon she would be leaving and they would probably never meet again. How strange and unsettling life was – how uncertain the future.
She strolled along the seafront, heading for the fishing station. Nothing moved down there, for a strict curfew forbade night fishing. She stood and looked at the Seagull, remembering the day she’d returned, battered but unbowed, from Dunkirk, and how Jim’s heart-rending story had touched them all.
Not wanting to think of such things, she turned quickly away, only to realise there was someone lurking in the nearby shelter. She experienced a stab of unease. It was clear he’d been watching her for – as she’d turned – he’d swiftly dodged back into the shadows.
She looked behind her and into the distance, her unease turning to fear. Apart from the soldiers manning one of the big guns several hundred yards down the prom, she was quite alone. ‘Who’s there?’ she called, her voice cracking.
The figure shifted in the shadows.
She trembled and her mouth dried. He looked big and bulky, his shoulders strangely hunched. He was clearly up to no good. She glanced towards the distant gun emplacement. If she made a run for it, she’d have to get past him first. She gathered every ounce of courage. ‘Show yourself,’ she ordered, ‘or I’ll scream for help.’
He slowly emerged from the shadows, and Sally saw he was indeed a tall man, made bulky by the long overcoat he was wearing, his shoulders hunched as he leant heavily on the crutches. His face was in shadow, hidden beneath the brim of his hat.
‘What you doing, scaring the living daylights out of people?’ she demanded, her fear making her angry. Crippled or not, he had no right to frighten her like that.
He stood there for a heartbeat of time, his chin sunk into the collar of his coat, his face in deep shadow. And then he turned and slowly moved away from her, his progress hesitant and ungainly.
Sally’s pulse stopped racing as she saw how difficult it was for him, and she wished she hadn’t been quite so sharp. Like her, the poor man had probably only been out for a bit of fresh air and some quiet contemplation.
She was about to head back to Beach View when his foot caught on a rough edge of broken pavement. He tried to keep his balance, but the crutch clattered to the ground and, with a loud oath, he hit the concrete.
Sally rushed to his side. ‘Let me help you,’ she breathed.
‘I don’t need your help,’ he snarled. ‘Go away Sally. Just for the love of God leave me be.’
She stared at him in disbelief as he scrabbled for the fallen crutch. ‘John?’ she breathed, touching his shoulder. ‘John, is it really you?’
‘Of course it bloody well is,’ he snarled, shrugging off her hand and grabbing the crutch. He tried getting to one knee, battling desperately to keep his balance and haul himself up. The crutch lost purchase on the broken concrete, and skittered away and, with a deep, agonised groan, his knee gave way and he crashed to the ground again.
She instinctively rushed to help.
‘Go away,’ he hissed. ‘I don’t want you seeing me like this.’
She had been consumed by a cocktail of love, sadness and shock, but she swiftly gathered her wits. ‘Don’t be stupid,’ she retorted. ‘You need help.’
‘No, I don’t,’ he insisted, struggling to sit up.
‘Well I’m not leaving you here on your arse in the middle of the night,’ she said crossly. She grabbed his arm and put it over her shoulder. ‘But you’ve got to help me, John, you’re too heavy to lift on me own. Can you put your weight on your good leg?’
‘That’s just it,’ he snapped. ‘I don’t possess a good leg.’
‘Then do the best you can,’ she replied, trying her hardest not to let him see how shocked she was by his helplessness. ‘I’ll count to three. Ready?’
His expression was stormy as he nodded.
He wasn’t as heavy as she’d expected, but even so, Sally almost buckled as he leant on her and hauled himself to his feet. She steadied him, aware that he was glaring down at her almost defiantly, and concentrated on retrieving the crutches.
‘Thanks.’ He rammed them under his armpits. ‘Sorry to be a nuisance,’ he mumbled. ‘Good night.’
‘Oh, no you don’t, John Hicks.’ She barred his way, hands on hips, glaring up at him. ‘You owe me an explanation, and I’m not moving until I get one.’
‘There’s nothing to say,’ he replied, refusing to meet her angry gaze. ‘You can see how things are. One leg’s made out of tin, and the other’s been broken so many times it’s got more metal in it than a Lancaster bomber.’
‘Is that why you wrote that horrid letter? Because you didn’t think I’d want any more to do with you now you’re injured?’
‘That’s about the size of it,’ he said evenly. He looked at some distant point over her shoulder. ‘You’re young. You’ll get over it.’
She slapped his face, the sound of it echoing along the silent seafront – shocking them both. ‘How dare you think so little of me?’ she snapped.
He looked at her then, his dark blue eyes delving to her very soul as they stood beneath the stars.
There were messages in his eyes she couldn’t read, and a sense of helplessness and sorrow in his expression that made her want to hold him and tell him everything would be all right. That she loved him no matter what – and that together they could get through this.
But he broke the spell and looked away, the small muscle working in his jaw. ‘I don’t love you, Sally. I’m sorry if you got the wrong idea, but there it is. Whatever we had has gone, so just accept that and get on with your life.’
‘You don’t mean that,’ she said softly. ‘You did love me, I know you did – and I loved you too. She stepped closer and breathed in the familiar scent of him, yearning to feel his arms round her, his lips against her mouth. ‘I never stopped loving you, John,’ she whispered, tentatively cupping his cheek with her hand. ‘Please don’t break my heart all over again.’
He flinched from her touch and edged away. ‘Stop it, Sally, you’re making a fool of yourself.’
Sally took a step back, shocked by his vehemence.
But he seemed determined to hurt her, determined to twist the knife. ‘I don’t love you; I never loved you. It was just a bit of fun, and never meant to be anything more. Go home to Beach View, Sally, and forget me.’
She didn’t want to believe him, couldn’t believe him – and yet there was such coldness in his tone, and his face looked as if it had been hewn from the same concrete that lay under their feet. She reached out her hand to him, but he stood there like a rock, unmovable and impenetrable. ‘I don’t want to forget you,’ she said, on the verge of tears. ‘This can’t be goodbye, John. It just can’t.’
He looked down at her, holding her gaze with the coolness of someone who didn’t care. Then, without another word, he turned away and headed towards the other end of the promenade.
Sally watched him through her tears and noted that his shoulders were hunched more than ever, his progress slower and even more laborious. The hope burned in her that he’d change his mind, that he’d know she was praying for him to turn back to her. But he continued down the promenade and never looked back.
She felt the tears roll hot down her face as she stumbled from the seafront and began the long climb towards Beach View. Seeing him again had brought her love for him flooding back, and in the moment when he’d looked into her eyes, she’d thought he’d felt the same way. But what a fool she’d been to ever believe someone like John could ever love her – how naïve to think she might have meant more to him than just a bit of fun. Dear, God, how it hurt.
Her dreams that night were troubled, her emotions soaring and ebbing as if she was on a giant roller coaster at the fairground. But, as morning dawned and she prepared for her last day at Beach View, she decided she wouldn’t mention John and their encounter on the seafront, for it would achieve nothing.
Determined to keep up a cheerful front and not make things even harder for everyone, she washed and dressed and even put on mascara and a dash of lipstick. If bravado was going to get her through the day, then so be it.
It seemed Peggy had come to the same conclusion for, although her greeting was cheerful as she sat at her usual place at the breakfast table, her smile didn’t quite reach her reddened eyes. She turned her attention quickly to cutting up the Spam fritters for Ernie. ‘Will you be going in to work today? Only there’s the packing to finish, the last-minute shopping, and a hundred and one things I’ve probably forgotten.’
‘I’ll ring the factory in a minute and warn them I’ll only be in to collect my wages, drop off the sewing and say goodbye to everyone. It shouldn’t take long, and then I can help you.’
She looked at Ernie who was happily chewing his fritters and slurping his tea. ‘How about coming with me, Ernie? You could meet Brenda and the other girls, and see where I’ve been working.’
He screwed up his little face as he thought about it. ‘Can I go in me chair? And can we buy another flag on the way? Only Harvey’s eaten me best one.’
‘I think that could be arranged,’ she replied with a smile. ‘Now finish your breakfast, and drink your tea without making that horrible noise.’
The three boys raised their eyes to the ceiling and tutted. ‘Sisters,’ they chorused with the exasperation of long-held experience.
* * *
It was a beautiful day, but the rubble and the bonfires that sent spirals of black smoke into the clear sky seemed to echo her mood as she pushed Ernie down the road. This would be the last time she would make this journey – the last time she would look in these shop windows and stand in the long queues outside. She tried not to, but she searched the crowds for a sight of John – of course he was nowhere to be seen.
Having collected her wages and Goldman’s reference from Marjory, who’d unbent enough to give Ernie two of her custard cream biscuits, they went into the factory to say goodbye and hand over the sewing.
Simmons awkwardly ruffled Ernie’s hair. ‘We’ll be sorry to see you go, Miss Turner.’ He cleared his throat. ‘You can say goodbye to everyone in the canteen.’
As the whistle went, the women poured into the canteen, the noise of their wishes drowning the radio programme blaring from the wall speakers. Sally handed over the parcels of sewing and slipped the money gratefully into her pocket as Ernie was hugged and kissed and cooed over.
Brenda almost swamped Sally in her embrace. ‘Now you take care, Sal. Those Welsh are a funny lot. If they give you any trouble, you come back to us. We’ll see you right.’
Pearl shoved her way through the crush and threw her arms about her. ‘I’m gunna really miss you, Sal,’ she said, her blue eyes swimming with tears. ‘Just remember there’s a place at my house for yer anytime you want it.’ She gave her a watery smile. ‘It gets a bit lonely rattling about in it on me own, and I don’t really want to take in some lodger I don’t know.’
Sally hugged her back. ‘I’ll miss you too, Pearl. Stay in touch, won’t you?’
‘Course I will. In fact, I think I’ll come over after tea and say goodbye properly. I’m about to make a complete show of meself ’ere.’
‘You know you’re always welcome at Peggy’s,’ she murmured. ‘I’ll see you later.’
It took a while for Sally to extricate herself and Ernie from the crush and, with a last sad wave goodbye, they left the factory as the whistle went for the return to work.
Ernie kept the basket on his lap as they set off for the shops. Peggy had given them a list, and it could be some time before they would reach home, as the queues outside every shop snaked along the pavement.
They eventually managed to buy most things on the list and had even found a new flag for Ernie’s chair. They were making their slow way past The Anchor for the last time when Sally noticed a uniformed man in the distance waving his hat about.
She frowned and looked behind her, but no-one was waving back. He was waving more frantically now – and running towards them. With a thrill, Sally suddenly recognised that rolling gait and realised who it was.
‘Dad!’ yelled Ernie. ‘Dad! It’s Dad.’
Sally’s joy swept all the sadness away as she hurried towards him. Harold Turner was as handsome as ever in his naval officer’s uniform, his tanned face and light brown hair unchanged since she’d seen him last. She’d waited and hoped for so long to see his wonderfully familiar and reassuring sturdy figure and seaman’s swagger that she could hardly believe that, at last, he was here.
‘Daddy, oh, Daddy,’ she said, the tears and laughter mingling. And then she and Ernie were in his strong embrace, clinging to him, never wanting to let go of him again as he kissed their faces and held them tight.
Harold eventually swung Ernie up, rested him on his hip and put the peaked hat on his head, where it fell over his eyes. ‘It looks as if the sea air’s done you some good, son,’ he said, his brown eyes twinkling as he adjusted the hat. ‘You’re almost too heavy to lift now.’
He looked at Sally and held her to his heart. ‘As for you,’ he breathed, ‘you’ve turned into a beautiful young woman. I can hardly believe you’re the same little girl who stood on the doorstep and waved me off almost two years ago.’
‘I’m just so glad you’re here,’ she murmured, breathing in the wonderful, comforting mixed scents of soap and saltiness that were so much a part of him. ‘I’ve missed you so much, Dad.’
‘I’ve missed the pair of you, too.’
‘Are you staying, Dad?’ Ernie clung to his neck, the brown eyes, so like his father’s, desperate with hope. ‘You ain’t gunna go with Mum, are yer?’
‘I’m not going anywhere without you for a while,’ he replied, ‘and certainly not with your mum.’ He looked at Sally. ‘I’ve got three whole weeks’ leave. My ship was hit during the attack on the convoy the other night. She’s in dry-dock for repairs.’
‘Our friend Alex was killed in that,’ said Ernie. ‘He was a Spitfire pilot and very brave.’
‘They all are, every last one of them,’ Harold replied softly. ‘We lost three ships that night, along with a great many good men.’ He shook his head as if to be rid of the gloomy thoughts. ‘Come on, you two. Peggy’s got the kettle on, and I managed to tuck away a few treats in my kitbag.’
‘You’ve already seen Peggy?’ Sally gazed up at him, loving the way his eyes creased in the corners when he smiled.
‘It was the first place I went after getting off the London train yesterday.’ He laughed. ‘Everyone was out, so I waited a bit, and then booked into The Anchor. I slept late, so missed you when I went back this morning.’ He grinned. ‘That Rosie Braithwaite’s a bit of all right, ain’t she?’
‘Careful, Dad,’ she warned, returning his smile, ‘you could be stepping on toes there. Granddad Ron’s got his eye on Rosie.’
‘Yeah, so he told me. Quite a card is Ron. In fact,’ he said, taking the wheelchair and steering it with one hand while he kept Ernie tethered to his hip with the other, ‘I like the whole family. You and Ernie fell on your feet there, girl, and no mistake.’
‘We very nearly didn’t,’ she said and, as they ambled along the street, she told him what had happened.
He mulled this over as they approached the house. ‘Then I hope she sees what I’ve got to propose as a small token of my regard for her.’
‘What sort of proposal?’ Sally looked up at him and frowned.
‘I’ll tell everyone later,’ he murmured.
‘What? What is it? Have you got ’er a present?’ shouted Ernie. ‘Have you got me and Sal a present as well?’
Harold twisted his finger in his ear and winced. ‘Blimey, son, you don’t ’alf have a pair of lungs on you. Yes, I’ve got presents for everyone, but they’re to be shared and no nonsense.’
He stepped aside and waited for Sally to unlock the door, then pushed the wheelchair into the hall and parked it in the dining room. ‘Everyone’s in the garden,’ he said, heading for the kitchen. ‘It’s too nice a day to be indoors.’
Sally hurriedly put away the shopping and followed him down the basement steps.
Peggy had ordered Ron and Jim to take the kitchen table outside, where she’d covered it in a colourful cloth, and dressed it with the best china and a vase of flowers she’d picked from next door’s abandoned garden. Mrs Finch was setting out the glasses and napkins, happily chattering away to Peggy, who was only giving her half her attention as she quietly organised the girls. Cissy had the day off because the Woolworths building was so damaged it was no longer safe, and Anne was making the best of her last two days home before she left for the women’s barracks and the start of her training.
As Harold appeared carrying Ernie and his enormous kitbag, Peggy smiled. ‘It’s only a bit of salad for lunch,’ she said, ‘but I did manage to find a bottle of wine at the back of the larder, and of course there’s the vodka.’
Harold set Ernie down and grinned as he opened the kitbag. ‘I think I’ve got something in here to liven things up.’ He pulled out a bottle of rum and two bottles of wine. ‘Courtesy of the merchant navy,’ he said with a wink.
Everyone’s eyes widened as these were swiftly followed by a roll of strong-smelling sausage, and an even stronger-smelling box of cheese which had come from a French sailor he’d met in the naval quarters in Tilbury. Digging deeper into the kitbag, he pulled out tins of ham, salmon, sweet biscuits and a ginger sponge cake. These were followed by a bag of oranges, a tin of golden syrup, and an enormous packet of dried fruit.
Peggy was almost in tears as she looked at the bounty spread before them. ‘Dried fruit,’ she breathed, ‘and oranges. We haven’t seen an orange for months.’
‘Just don’t ask where I got ’em,’ he said, tapping the side of his nose and winking.
‘You’re a man after me own heart, so you are,’ said Jim, clapping him on the shoulder.
‘Quite,’ said Peggy, snatching up the tins and bags of fruit as if someone was threatening to take them from her. ‘I’ll just put these away,’ she muttered, before hurrying indoors.
Harold grinned at the boys as he opened a side pocket in the kitbag. ‘There’s a couple more bits and pieces, but I don’t expect you’d be interested in these, would you?’ He paused just long enough to heighten the suspense before pulling out bags of liquorice bootlaces, toffees, humbugs and sherbet dabs. He laughed uproariously as he was swamped in small boys, and had to hold the bags of sweets high above his head.
He caught Peggy’s eye as she hurried back to see what all the shouting was about. ‘I think we’d better ration these, or you won’t be eating your lunch.’ He doled out two sweets each before handing the rest to Cissy, who took them into the house and hid them.
As the sun shone into the garden and everyone tucked into the delicious food, Sally’s gaze repeatedly turned to her father, reassuring herself that he really was here, that she could touch his sleeve and listen to his voice, and know he’d never forgotten her or Ernie.
The meal was a raucous affair as Harold told tales of his adventures at sea, the rum being shared between the men as the women sipped the wine. Not to be outdone, Jim spoke of the awful trip to Dunkirk. The mood immediately sobered, but Ron livened things up again by telling them how he really got wounded in the First World War.
It was a tale they hadn’t heard before, which wasn’t surprising, for it turned out that Ron had been squatting in the bushes with his trousers round his ankles when a nearby shell exploded. The shrapnel had been deeply embedded in his bottom, and he’d had to suffer the indignity of the surgeon pulling out each piece as his mates looked on and fell about laughing.
He eyed them belligerently as the tears of laughter ran down their cheeks. ‘It wasn’t funny,’ he muttered. ‘I’ve still got some in me back, so I have. You wait until you get shrapnel up yer arse – then see how you like it.’
A fresh gale of laughter went round the table, the boys collapsing into giggles. ‘Ron,’ Peggy spluttered, holding her sides. ‘Mind your language.’
He grimaced, but couldn’t quite extinguish the mischievous glint in his eyes as he looked round the table. ‘If a simple word like “arse” makes you all laugh, then perhaps I should use it more often. To be sure, I haven’t heard this family so happy for a long while.’
Once the laughter had subsided, they settled down to enjoy the summer’s day. The sun was hot, the mood mellow as they relaxed and simply enjoyed one another’s company.
It was Harold who broke the small silence that had fallen between them as the alcohol, good food and heat began to take effect. He hitched Ernie to a more comfortable position on his lap. ‘Peggy, I have a proposition to make. You see, I didn’t just come here to see my kids, I came to take them to safety – and I wonder if you would allow me to do the same for your boys?’
‘But it’s all arranged, Harry.’ Jim shifted in his chair and lit a cigarette. ‘They’re off to Wales in the morning.’
‘I know, but I’m sure it can be unarranged.’ He looked round the table at the wide-eyed children and the curious adults. ‘I have an older sister, Violet, and she lives in Somerset. I managed to telephone her from London last night, and she’s happy to take them all.’
‘But she couldn’t possibly have known about my two,’ said Peggy with a frown. ‘Won’t it be a bit much?’
Harry grinned. ‘Not at all. Vi loves kids, and as I’d had a couple of letters from Sally, telling me all about you, I took the liberty of asking her if she’d take Bob and Charlie as well. She just laughed and said “the more the merrier”, and asked when we were planning to arrive so she could air the rooms and get them ready.’
‘That’s very generous of her,’ said Peggy, hesitantly.
‘I didn’t think you ever got my letters,’ said Sally. ‘Why didn’t you write back?’
His smile was warm, his eyes teasing as he patted her cheek. ‘It’s a bit difficult when I didn’t know where you were, Sal. You’d forgotten to put your address on them.’
‘But Mum knew it. I told her to tell you.’
‘I didn’t find that out until I came home on my last leave and found the letter you sent when you first got here.’ He must have seen the question in her eyes, for he quickly reassured her. ‘I only had forty-eight hours, so I didn’t have time to get down here. When I tried to telephone, I was told all the lines were down.’
He put his warm, rough hand over hers as it rested on the table. ‘Never mind, love, I’ve found you now, and I’ll never let you slip away again – either of you.’
‘Does your sister have children?’ asked Peggy.
‘Three daughters, but they’ve all married and left home.’ Harold carefully filled his pipe and passed the pouch to Ron. Soon, the sweet smell of good, rich tobacco drifted in the warm air. ‘Vi’s one of nature’s diamonds,’ he continued. ‘She was a nurse in the first war when she met her husband, and now, sadly, she’s a widow. But she runs that dairy farm as well as her husband ever did. There’s an elderly cowman still on the place, but she’s been allocated three land girls to help her now the young farm-workers have joined up. It’s a big place, with a rambling old farmhouse, and lots of barns and sheds. A perfect playground for three boys.’
‘Has she got chickens?’ piped up Charlie. ‘Will she let us feed them and collect the eggs?’
‘She’s got chickens, ducks and geese, and on the pond at the bottom of one of the paddocks, she’s even got a pair of swans and some moorhens.’ He smiled at Bob who was watching him thoughtfully. ‘There’s a wood, too, and behind the house there are hills just like the ones here. I suspect a big lad like you will soon find plenty to do. She might even let you learn to drive the tractor.’
Bob’s eyes lit up and he smiled. ‘That would be smashing,’ he breathed.
‘Can Harvey come too?’ Ernie was patting the dog’s shaggy head and attempting to keep his nose from the sausage on the table.
‘Harvey’s all right where he is,’ rumbled Ron. ‘He and I have been together so long, we’d neither of us feel comfortable apart.’
Harold eyed Harvey and grinned. ‘There’s always three or four dogs about the farm. I’m sure at least one of them would like to keep you company, Ernie.’
‘What do you think, Jim?’ Peggy’s eyes were bright with hope.
‘I’m thinking it’s the answer to our prayers, even though Miss Fforbes-Smythe will probably have us all shot at dawn for messing up her arrangements.’
They all laughed as Peggy did a wonderful impression of her and explained to Harold who she was. ‘When would you be leaving?’ Peggy was suddenly serious, her eyes once more revealing the heartbreak of having to send her children away.
‘I’ve managed to get train passes for tomorrow afternoon,’ he replied. ‘I thought it best to get them away from the coast as soon as possible now invasion has become a very real threat.’
Peggy swallowed and blew her nose rather fiercely. ‘Of course,’ she managed, her voice breaking. She took a deep breath. ‘Do you think I could telephone Vi? Only I’d like to make sure she’s quite happy about all this, and to thank her for her kindness.’
Harold looked at his watch. ‘She’ll be out in the fields at this time of day. I’ll ring her after dark when she’s sure to be indoors.’
The boys left the table and were soon engrossed in a game of marbles as the adults discussed their plans. Harold turned to Sally a while later, and took her hand. ‘Fancy showing your old man this countryside you wrote to me about?’
‘I can’t think of anything I’d like more,’ she replied warmly.
* * *
The sea was sparkling with sun-diamonds as they breached the hill and found a soft hummock of grass on which to settle. From their viewpoint, they could look down at the crescent-shaped bay and the little town that sprawled from the seafront and into the surrounding countryside. They were silent as they caught their breath and drank in the scenery, content and at peace in each other’s company.
Harold finally pulled a small package out of his pocket. ‘Happy birthday, love. I’m sorry I missed it, and there was no card this year.’
She untied the ribbon and opened the little box. There, nestled in a bed of cotton wool, was a heart-shaped locket on a matching gold chain. ‘Oh, Dad,’ she sighed. ‘It’s beautiful.’ She kissed his cheek. ‘Thank you. I’ll treasure it always.’
He fastened it round her neck and gave her a kiss. ‘Seventeen already, eh? My how time flies.’ He re-lit his pipe and, with a sigh of contentment, leant back on his elbows. ‘I’m glad Ernie doesn’t seem too upset by Florrie letting him down again,’ he said quietly.
‘How did you know she was here?’
‘Maisie from downstairs,’ he replied. ‘The minute we docked I went back to Bow and found half the street was missing. It didn’t take long to track Maisie down and discover where she’d gone. When I found out Solomon had relocated here as well …’ He was quiet for a moment. ‘Did she tell you about the divorce?’
Sally nodded. ‘The only thing worrying her was the thought of Solomon finding out she’d been carrying on with someone else.’ She gave a rueful smile. ‘Unfortunately, I suspect he did find out – which was why she left Cliffehaven in a hurry.’
Harold sighed deeply. ‘Yeah, I caught sight of her at the station, and have to confess I ducked out before she saw me. As for Solomon; he’s a fool – but even he doesn’t deserve to be saddled with Florrie.’
She stared at her father’s grim face. ‘Was it you who told him?’
‘I wanted to, but I didn’t in the end. I’m not a vindictive man, Sally, and although Florrie has had her own way for too long, and I was sick of being made to look a fool, I’d had enough of trouble.’
‘He must have seen her with that man she picked up at the station,’ she murmured.
Harold stared out at the view, the smoke drifting lazily from his pipe. ‘When Peggy told me what she did to you, I almost wished I had spiked her guns. It was unforgivable to steal from you and ignore Ernie the way she did – but that’s Florrie. Selfish to the end.’
‘What do you think she’ll do now?’
‘Probably get some other mug to look after her,’ he replied, brushing the grass from his sleeves as he sat up. ‘But don’t let’s talk about her. I want to hear what you’ve been doing over the past two years.’
Sally told him how much she loved Peggy and Ron; told him about Ernie’s need to be massaged regularly, the visits to the doctor, and the very real proof that decent food and a steady routine in fresh air was giving him the strength to fight the ongoing effects of the polio.
Harold was silent as she described the long walks with Ron up here in the hills, the work at the factory, her friendships, and the fact that her little home-dressmaking business was flourishing. ‘Of course I’ll have to put everything on hold until I can get back,’ she finished wistfully.
‘You don’t have to go to Vi’s you know,’ he said quietly, his dark gaze settling on her. ‘She’s quite capable of looking after him.’
‘When Mum left, I promised Ernie I would never leave him again,’ she replied. ‘I can’t break that promise.’
‘But if you could, would you choose to stay here?’
She nodded, shamed by the thought she could even consider breaking her promise. ‘I love it here,’ she said simply.
‘Peggy said you were planning to move in with your friend Pearl before it was decided to evacuate the boys. If you stayed, would you still do that?’
‘Her husband’s on the minesweepers, so he’s rarely home, and there was room for me and Ernie. We’d even planned to turn the front parlour into my sewing room so I could continue with my work. But then the bombing got so bad, there was no choice but to get Ernie to safety.’
‘You didn’t answer my question, Sally.’ He put his fingers beneath her chin and gently forced her to look him in the eye. ‘Would you move in with Pearl if you didn’t leave for Somerset?’
She couldn’t lie to him, couldn’t deny the yearning that tugged at her heart. ‘Yes,’ she said softly.
He chewed the stem of his pipe and gazed beyond the sea to the horizon. ‘And what about this young man of yours? John Hicks, isn’t it? You’ve not even mentioned him.’
She knew she was blushing as she eyed him. ‘You and Peggy certainly covered a lot of ground this morning, didn’t you?’
‘She simply told me what I wanted to know,’ he said evenly.
‘John made it perfectly clear last night that he wants nothing more to do with me,’ she blurted out. ‘So you can forget about him.’
His gaze sharpened. ‘So, you’ve seen him then?’ He regarded her for a moment. ‘But you didn’t tell Peggy, did you, Sal? Why?’
She blinked in the bright sunlight. ‘There was no point,’ she mumbled. ‘John made it absolutely plain he didn’t love me – had never really loved me, even before he went to Dunkirk and got injured.’ She sniffed, scrabbled for the handkerchief in her sleeve and blew her nose. ‘It was all a romantic dream of a silly young girl, and I feel embarrassed at having made such a fool of myself.’
He put his arm round her shoulders. ‘Falling in love is foolish,’ he agreed, ‘but we all do it. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.’ He waited until she was more composed. ‘How bad are his injuries?’
‘He’s lost half of one leg and the other one is held together with metal. He has to walk with crutches, and it’s very obvious he hates having to rely on other people, and loathes the fact that he’s not as fit and strong as he was before Dunkirk.’
Harold was thoughtful. ‘Tell me exactly what happened last night, Sally – word for word, and leave nothing out.’
Her voice faltered as she haltingly described the scene. ‘I thought at first everything would be all right,’ she said finally, ‘but then he suddenly turned cold and angry – not just with me, but with what had happened to him, and the world in general.’
‘What made you think he still loved you?’
‘It was the way he looked at me. His eyes … his eyes seemed to reach right to my heart – just like they had before … before …’ She angrily rubbed away the tears and hugged her knees. ‘I wanted him to look back when he walked away, but he just kept on going.’
‘You know, Sally, I never had you down as a quitter.’
‘I’m not,’ she retorted. ‘But even I know when I’m beaten.’
‘Do you love him, Sally?’
She nodded, furious that she couldn’t stop the tears rolling down her face.
‘Are you prepared to take him on, even though his needs will be greater than ever now he has those injuries?’
She nodded again.
‘Then I suggest you go and find him and tell him that. I think you’ll be surprised at how very wrong you’ve been.’
She eyed him sharply. ‘Wrong?’
Harold took a deep breath. ‘He’s very angry, Sally. Angry because he’s not fit and healthy and capable of doing what he used to do. He’s angry at the world – at the war – and at the way fate has changed everything he’s ever known. He’s trying to protect you, as well as himself, because he’s terrified you’ll go back to him out of pity. And the only way he knows to make certain that you don’t do that is to push you away.’
The great surge of hope that swept through her was swiftly dammed by the fear that it was false. ‘How do you know that? You’ve never met John.’
‘I know men like him,’ he said sadly. ‘Good shipmates who’ll never go to sea again. They all share the same fear, and they hide it in anger, using it to keep loved ones at a distance because they simply couldn’t bear to see pity in their eyes. But if the bond is strong, they soon discover it can never be broken, and that’s when they start to really heal.’
He paused and stared into the distance. ‘You see, it’s not just limbs that are shattered in this war, but hearts and minds – and they take longer to heal when it seems no-one else cares or understands.’
Sally digested her father’s wisdom. ‘I don’t know, Dad,’ she said eventually, the doubts and fears clouding her ability to think clearly.
‘Are you afraid you don’t love him enough to take on the demands of a man battling to overcome his disability?’ He took her hand. ‘You’re still very young, Sally, and I suspect this John is your first love – which is always a powerful emotion. But this is not a decision to take hastily. It’s a huge responsibility, and no-one would think the worse of you if you left things as they are.’
She shook her head. ‘I know all that – but no, I’m not afraid of the responsibility. I’m afraid he was telling me the truth, and that he never loved me at all.’
‘Well,’ he said, getting to his feet. ‘The only way you’re going to find that out is to ask him.’
Sally stood and gazed out at the horizon where the calm blue sea met an azure sky. ‘I’ll sleep on it,’ she said finally. ‘I’m exhausted from everything that’s happened over the past few days, and not thinking clearly at all.’
‘If I can persuade Ernie to go to Somerset without you, will you stay here?’
She touched the locket and nodded, unable to speak.
He pulled her into his arms. ‘My brave girl,’ he murmured. ‘You really have been through the mill, haven’t you?’
She felt the anguish melt away as she buried her face in his chest and heard the steady beat of his heart. Her dad was home, if only for a few hours; but she’d needed the solace of him, the wisdom and love he always gave so generously. And it was as if she’d been given new strength and new hope to face whatever may lie ahead.
He drew away from her finally and tucked her curls behind her ears, gently thumbing away the last of her tears. ‘You deserve to have your own life, Sal. With Ernie in Somerset, you can take all those responsibilities you’ve shouldered for so long and set them aside.’
He silenced her protest with a soft finger over her lips. ‘Vi will look after him as if he was her own, and it’s time you enjoyed being young and carefree – even if there is a war on. Walk into the future with pride, Sally Turner, and know that you’ve more than earned every step.’
‘You promised you’d stay with me,’ said Ernie, glaring at Sally. ‘You said so, and now you’re trying to get out of it – just like Mum.’
Ernie, I didn’t—’
‘Hush, Sally. I’ll sort this,’ said Harold. He held Ernie against his knee. ‘Now, Ernie, don’t be unkind to your sister. I’ll be coming with you to Auntie Vi’s, and I’ll be staying until I have to get back to my ship. You’re such a big boy now, surely you don’t need your sister to blow your nose every time you sneeze, do you?’
‘Suppose not.’ He kicked moodily at the table leg.
Harold caught Sally’s eye, his silent message clear. Don’t let this display of childish behaviour change your mind. ‘I tell you what,’ he said, ‘why don’t you give it a good go? Bob and Charlie will be there to keep you company, and Auntie Vi’s a whizz at baking cakes, and letting little boys get mucky in the farmyard. I’ll stay with you for as long as I can and show you round the place – perhaps even take you all up into the hills like Ron does now. We won’t have Harvey, of course, but I’m sure Vi won’t mind if we take one of her dogs instead.’
‘Well …’ Ernie was warming to the idea but still reluctant to give in completely. ‘Will Sally come and visit?’
‘With the trains and the bombs and everything else, she can’t promise, Ernie. But I’m sure she will at some point.’
‘I tell you what,’ Sally cut in. ‘I’ll send you a postcard and letter every week, and when I’ve got a few spare pennies, I’ll even send you a parcel.’
‘All right,’ he said, unwilling to express the excitement that now shone in his eyes. ‘I suppose you can stay ’ere. At least then you won’t be able to boss me about no more.’ He hobbled away from them and joined the other boys without a backward glance for his sister.
Sally met her father’s gaze and smiled wistfully. ‘He took that well,’ she said, dryly.
‘He’s a kid,’ he replied. ‘Just because he can be bribed with cards and parcels, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you as much as I do. Whatever happens in the future, you’re never to forget that.’
Pearl joined them after tea, and she and Sally made themselves comfortable in the deckchairs so they could enjoy the balmy summer’s evening while Harold bathed Ernie and put him to bed. Harold had made quite an impression on Pearl, but Sally had yet to tell her she was staying, and she was bubbling with her secret.
‘I found a letter on the mat when I got in,’ said Pearl. ‘It’s from Edie. She’s well, and enjoying working as a land girl. Who would have thought it, eh? And she’s met some farmer at one of the local dances, so it looks like she’s settled right in. I doubt she’ll ever come ’ere again for a visit.’ She gave a deep sigh. ‘It’s gunna be lonely down ’ere once you’ve gone an’ all.’
‘I don’t think it’ll be that bad,’ said Sally, unable to keep it to herself any longer. ‘I’m not going to Somerset, Pearl – so is the offer of that room still on?’
The blue eyes widened and she flung her arms round Sally. ‘Of course it is. Oh, Sal. I’m so glad you’re not leaving. When can you move in?’
‘I was thinking about the end of the week. Peggy will need time to adjust to the boys leaving, and Anne will be going the day after tomorrow. I want to stay a few days just to make sure she’s all right.’
Pearl nodded. ‘Good thinking, Sal. She’s been so wonderful to all of us – like a second mum, really, so I’ll pop in too. It’s the least we can do for ’er.’
‘I told her she could visit us any time, and promised we’d call in at least once a week to keep up with the news of the boys. I hope you don’t mind?’
‘Course I don’t, silly. I still think of this place as ’ome, even though I don’t live ’ere no more.’ She became thoughtful. ‘Peggy’s gunna find it strange with an empty house.’
Sally laughed. ‘It won’t be empty for long. She’s already been on to the billeting people, and there are four nurses arriving next week. She’ll have plenty to keep her busy.’
‘She’ll have a full-time job keeping an eye on Jim and Ron with all those young women in the house,’ laughed Pearl. ‘Still, if I know Peggy, she’ll keep a tight rein on both of them.’ She fell silent and plucked at a loose thread on her cotton dress.
‘What’s the matter, Pearl?’
‘I dunno if I should tell you this,’ she said reluctantly, ‘but I saw John Hicks today, and ’e’s—’
‘I know he’s back,’ Sally cut in, ‘and I know about his injuries. I still love him, Pearl, and as soon as I can, I’m going to make him admit he loves me.’ She went on to tell Pearl what had happened the previous night, and how her father had wisely advised her to clear the air.
Pearl frowned. ‘Are you sure, Sal? It’s a big decision.’
‘I’ve never been so sure of anything,’ she replied, and smiled joyfully. ‘But don’t worry, Pearl, I’m not about to rush into anything. We both need time to get to really know one another first.’ She stood and tugged her friend’s hand. ‘Come on, let’s go indoors. I want to spend some time with Dad before he leaves tomorrow.’