Chapter Three
“Why didn’t you tell us you’ve been put in the top class for math and English?” Mom asks out of the blue, while we’re sitting down eating dinner and I’m contemplating whether to put mayo or ketchup on my fries.
“Sorry, I forgot.” I say shrugging. I decide on mayo and reach for the jar in the middle of the table.
“Oh, Suzy. How can you forget? It’s great news. We’re really thrilled, aren’t we dear?” She smiles at Dad who nods his head in agreement.
“It’s no big deal.”
Which is just not true. I was totally freaked when they told me. I know I’ve been working hard and doing my homework, but I didn’t realize I was doing so well. Unless they’ve made a mistake—which is always a possibility. Then they’ll put me back in the other class, and I’ll look a right idiot. I don’t know why Mom’s so excited about it. It’s not like I’m in Rosie’s league or anything. Hang on a minute—
“How do you know, anyway?” I stop unscrewing the lid, put the jar down and stare at her.
“Because I phoned the school to see how you’re doing.”
What? Oh no. How could she? I lean forward and rest my head on my hand. This is so embarrassing.
“But why, Mom? Why?”
“I think that’s obvious, Suzy.” She raises her left eyebrow, a remarkable feat in itself, but I know it means it’s lecture time. It used to be a longstanding joke between Rosie and me. “How else am I meant to find out? Every time I ask you how school’s going you just say ‘good’. I know you’re working harder than before. I can see that for myself. But I want to make sure everything really is okay. So I phoned and spoke to the Principal.”
Spying on me more like. I shake my head in disbelief. This so isn’t happening. I mean, I’m not a baby. How many seventeen-year-olds are there who have a mother phoning their school? All I can hope for is no-one gets to hear about it.
“Well, please don’t phone again. I promise next time I’ll tell you when anything happens.” When it’s something I don’t mind her knowing.
I’m not sure whether I’ll mention going to the VC meeting tomorrow night. She might start asking awkward questions. I wanted to go to the meeting two weeks ago, but couldn’t because it was Dad’s birthday and it’s always been tradition on birthdays for us all to go to the movies, birthday person chooses the movie, and then out for a pizza. I’ll admit there were times in the past when I tried to get out of it, unsuccessfully I might add, but I wouldn’t try that now. Especially as it was his first birthday since Rosie died.
“We only want the best for you, love. Sending you to this school seems to be turning out really well.” She reaches over and touches me gently on the arm. Now I feel guilty big time. I’m all they have, so of course they want me to do well. And I won’t disappoint. Not like in the past.
***
I tear into Starbucks, praying they haven’t left already. What is it with me? With the best intentions in the world, I’m always late. There’s inevitably something conspiring against me—nine times out of ten it’s my hair. Maddie always used to tell me to meet her half an hour earlier than I needed to. And she thought I didn’t know.
And tonight was a double whammy. Not only did I have my hair to contend with but finding something to wear was a challenge of the highest order. I mean, what does one wear to a virginity club? Clearly not ripped black jeans with studs and a Nirvana t-shirt. My eyes are drawn to the dark brown pants and green shirt I’m wearing. As my mother said when I left: ‘very neat and tidy, dear.’ Neat and tidy!
I drag my thoughts back to tonight. If Lori and Rachel have already gone then I’m going back home. No way am I going on my own. Absolutely not. I scan the place and see them sitting at a table by the window. Phew.
They don’t look happy, though. I bet they’ve been talking about me being late, probably regretting asking me to come tonight. Even though Lori doesn’t have to mentor me any more they’re still sort of including me in things they do. By that I mean if they see me in the cafeteria they ask me to join them. And I was asked over to Jana’s house last week after school. Of course, it does help that Lori and I now have all our classes together because of the AP classes I’m in. And she often sits next to me. So, I guess I’m on the fringes of the in crowd.
Lori catches sight of me and waves. I start to walk toward them but before I manage even a couple of steps they get up and head in my direction.
“So sorry,” I say once they’re in earshot. “I had a hell of a time with my hair.” At least they haven’t heard that excuse thousands of times before, so hopefully they’ll be more understanding than my old friends. Not that it’s a lie. It took me ages to straighten it, which wasn’t helped by me forgetting to switch the straightener on once I’d plugged it in.
“It looks cool,” Rachel says. “I wish I had hair like yours. It’s so thick and bouncy. And you can do so much with it. Mine,” she curls her bottom lip as she slides her fingers through her awesome blond, to die for, hair, “is so fine I can’t do anything other than this.”
Sure. And if I’d been drinking the caramel frappuccino I’ve been looking forward to all afternoon and which I’m clearly going to have to forgo, I’d have choked on it. I’m learning fast that Rachel is full of self deprecating crap which she indulges in just to get other people to contradict her. I mean, really. This girl is tall, slim with cleavage, and a face that wouldn’t look out of place on the front of Cosmo.
“Come on,” Lori says impatiently, rolling her eyes toward the ceiling. “We’re meant to be meeting the others in five minutes and we’ve got a ten minute walk.” Ouch. She turns on her heel and heads toward the door. Rachel and I follow.
“So, tell me again what’s going to happen,” I say while we’re striding down Main Street. “I don’t have to go up on a stage or anything do I?”
This is really scary. What if they ask me to take the pledge and I say yes and somehow they know I’m lying and then everyone hates me? Or what if I take the pledge (not that I’ve decided yet) and the words come out all wrong? Or what if I laugh?
I’m always laughing when I shouldn’t. I get told off and a smirk magically appears on my face. Then I get told off even more. I think it’s genetic. Because I surely can’t help it.
Although, I haven’t been told off once since starting this new school. And I have to say it feels pretty good not to have all eyes on me when something wrong has been done.
Not that I blame my old teachers. Maddie and I did have a penchant for practical jokes. You tell me anyone who can resist gluing the teacher’s chair when there’s a glue stick on the table and the room is empty. Well, anyone who, like Maddie and I, tends to get themselves in a spot of trouble from time to time. Okay. Maybe that’s a tad under-played. I have to admit we got into a lot of trouble a lot of the time. But—yes there’s always a but—the things we did were relatively harmless. Well, they were until my last episode—but I blame that on all the stress I was under. And I truly learnt my lesson, that’s for sure.
“You’ll be fine,” says Lori. “At the beginning of the meeting Jamie will welcome everyone and ask the new people to put up their hands. Then if there are any new people, which there are.” She smiles at me. “He’ll talk a bit about what our philosophy is and ask you if you’re ready to take the pledge. Then you do. Voila. See, no problem.”
“And if I take the pledge do I have to stand up and put my hand on the bible or something. Like in court.”
“That’s up to you. Did you bring a bible with you?”
“No. Was I meant to? You didn’t mention it. Or if you did I’ve forgotten. Maybe someone will lend me one. Or—”
Lori starts to giggle. “Suzy. I’m joking. Of course you don’t have to. ‘Wait for Love’ isn’t a religious group. It’s all about wanting to save ourselves for that special someone.”
“That’s cool.”
Did I just say that? And did I sound convincing? What’s weird is no-one has actually asked me if I’m a virgin. They just assume it. I wonder why? Maybe I give off a virginal air.
“Hey, over there,” says Rachel looking over her shoulder and bringing me back from my thoughts. “Guy and Jana.”
My head spins around in double quick time and I see them walking toward us. I reach up and slide my hand down my hair in case it’s sticking up as it’s a bit windy. Guy’s been really nice to me since that first morning. We get on so well. Though I’ve missed him this last week because he’s been at on some football camp.
“Hi guys,” he says when he catches us up. I swear his gaze lingers a few seconds longer on me than on Lori and Rachel. Or is that wishful thinking? Maddie always says I have a vivid imagination.
“Hi,” we all say in Unison.
“Glad you decided to come,” he says to me.
Me too. Me too. Me too. This is going to be the best evening ever. But I don’t want him to think I’m keen. Guys like him are used to girls running after them. I’m going to play it real cool. Let him think I’m not bothered whether he’s there or not.
“Thanks.” I turn away and follow Lori toward the entrance to the Bedford Center where the meeting is being held.
“Hey Suzy,” he calls after me. “Wait for me.” I glance over my shoulder and grin.
“Hurry up then,” I say, making a concerted effort to refrain from punching the air.
He jogs over to where I’m standing and we walk through the entrance and make our way toward the private room at the back where the meeting is taking place. Guy holds the door open and I walk in front of him into the room, where I come to an abrupt halt.
Holy crap.
Take me home now. The room is packed. As in so full it’s standing room only. There’s got to be way over fifty kids here probably closer to a hundred. All sitting in rows on wooden seats and facing a small stage at the front. Where’s this low key affair Lori promised?
“You okay?” Guy whispers in my ear.
Okay, as in will I get over the shivers racing up and down my spine caused by his closeness? Or okay as in there’s no way on earth I’m pledging anything in front of this amount of people?
I swallow hard. “I’m not sure. I didn’t expect to see so many here.” I lean back against the wall, welcoming the feel of its support. Guy stands next to me on one side and Lori, Rachel and Jana on the other.
“It’s a great turnout,” Guy says. “We don’t normally have this many. I think it’s because we’ve been giving out leaflets at St Bartholomew’s School. I recognize some of them from there.”
He must really be into this virgin stuff if he goes around trying to convert other students. Though I suppose convert isn’t the right word. You can’t convert from not being a virgin to being a virgin. Apart from in special cases, obviously.
“So that means there’ll be a lot of people pledging tonight then.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
That won’t be so bad then, because I can hide behind someone else and no-one will be able to spot the guilty look on my face. That’s if I decide to take the pledge. I really haven’t decided yet. And that’s the truth. Though I must admit to being swayed by Guy.
“Hi everyone,” says a man standing on the stage, who Guy tells me is Jamie the President.
Something else I couldn’t believe. The club is run by a full committee with elections, fund raising and all those other things committees do. Not that I’ve ever been on a committee before. Or belonged to a club for that matter. I couldn’t see the attraction, despite Rosie’s attempts to convince me otherwise. Still, that’s in the past. I’m open to anything now. Sort of.
“Good to see you all. Sorry there aren’t enough chairs. We’ll fix that for the next meeting. Okay, hands up the new people.”
Standing where we are I get a full view of everyone putting up their hands and so gingerly put mine up too. I am not comfortable with all this.
“It’s great to have you here at ‘Wait For Love’. Where we believe in staying pure until we take those sacred marriage vows.”
What? Lori said it wasn’t religious. But ‘sacred’ and ‘pure’ sure ring religious bells with me. Not that I’m against religion per se. But I’m finding it so hard, since Rosie’s death, to come to terms with a God who could take away someone so perfect in the prime of their life.
“No one is twisting your arm,” Jamie continues. “But just know that if you take the pledge tonight you will be a better person because of it.”
So what does that make all the people who don’t pledge? Bad people?
“Because it’s all about respect,” Jamie adds, after what seems like a well timed pause. Clearly done for effect. I wonder if he’s had theatrical training. He certainly gestures like an actor. And I know he’s not still at school. Unless he’s got that premature aging disease.
“Respecting yourself and others respecting you.”
I lean to the side and whisper into Lori’s ear. “Who is Jamie exactly? Apart from being the Pres.”
“He’s a youth worker with the church,” she replies turning so I can see her face and, more to the point, her eyes which are bright and shining. Oh no. She’s got it bad for Jamie. It’s written all over her face. “He’s cute. Don’t you think?”
Um, in a word. No. Creepy would be a far better description from what I’ve seen so far. I don’t mean creepy looking. He’s dressed okay, and quite passable for someone older. It’s more his voice and the things he’s saying that are freaking me out. But let’s be fair. I don’t know him like she does. Which clearly won’t be in the biblical sense as that is forbidden.
“Yeah, he seems okay.” Like I’m going to tell her my true first impressions.
“So, are you going to?” Lori asks.
“Am I going to what?”
“Take the pledge, of course. What did you think I meant?”
Well, there’s the sixty-four thousand dollar question.