“No. I’m not leaving you.” He squeezed my arm. His fingers were like daggers digging into my skin. On some level, he probably thought I’d disappear if he didn’t keep me close. Maybe I would.
I twisted out of his grasp, and my legs moved rapidly, eating up the distance between the study and me. I didn’t know if I was running to or from Ryker, but I needed space. “I’ll be back in twenty minutes. Maybe less. Nobody will notice.”
“Hattie, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
My stomach somersaulted. He was right. Being alone wasn’t a good idea, but neither was having a full-blown panic attack in the middle of our engagement party. I painted an overly bright smile on my face, and the corners of my lips protested their disuse. I couldn’t remember the last time I had smiled. Really smiled from joy or anything that made me happy.
I pushed open one of the heavy double doors to his dad’s study. The hinge creaked. “I’ll be fine. If I’m not back in twenty minutes, you can come and get me.” I waved my hand in the direction of the camel-colored loveseat near the bay window. “I’ll be right there.”
He scrubbed his hand down the side of his face, and then kissed my forehead. “Okay.”
He turned around, and I watched until he disappeared around the corner. Then, I closed the door. When I heard the slow click of the door latch, my body sagged. Too many conflicting thoughts stumbled through my mind.
Why was Ryker here?
Did anyone know who he was?
Did he come back for me? My heart rate spiked at the thought.
Less than five minutes later, the door cracked open.
“Evan, it hasn’t been twenty minutes,” I said without turning around.
“Hattie?”
My lungs contracted, and I rotated on my heel.
“Ryker,” I said, my voice barely a whisper as I backpedaled. “What are you doing here?”
His gray eyes glittered in the dim light as he stalked to me. Blood thundered through my veins, echoing in my ears. Every inch of my skin tingled with awareness. My nipples pebbled in anticipation of his touch.
Oh shit. This was not good. I shook my head from side to side. My lips wobbled. I couldn’t let him touch me. If he did, I’d crumble like Humpty Dumpty. My razor-thin hold on sanity would vanish, and nothing could put me back together again.
“I wanted to see you.” His velvet voice rolled over me like a caress.
“No.” I folded my arms across my body like a shield, burrowing my fingernails into the flesh of my arms, striving to ground myself in reality. “You have to go. We agreed. You shouldn’t be here.”
“We didn’t agree on anything.” With a faint smile on his face, he reached out his hand casually. Too casually. My heart pleaded with me to grab his hand, launch myself at him, and never let go. But I didn’t. Nothing good would come of this. We couldn’t be together.
Like a broken record stuck on repeat, I continued shaking my head back and forth. “You told me to give Evan a second chance. That’s what I’m doing. If you haven’t noticed, that’s what tonight is about. This is my engagement party.” My voice trembled on the last word, showing a chink in my armor.
He planted his hands on the wall beside my head, imprisoning me. “I noticed, but I changed my mind about us…about being with you.”
His body slanted against mine until his lips were inches from my ear. I closed my eyes as his warm breath billowed along my neck, ruffling my hair. A shiver shot down my spine and goosebumps erupted on my arms. This was bad. Really bad.
Confused and on the verge of crying, I inhaled, desperately trying to track down every last ounce of my wilting willpower, but I regretted it instantly. His spicy, sea-salt scent filled my lungs, intoxicating me, weakening my defenses. I wanted him.
I opened my eyes, and he was close. Too close. I could see every individual eyelash and the charcoal rim around his irises. “You think it’s that easy? That you can just declare you changed your mind, and I’ll run back into your open arms?”
His eyes raked over my body like a predator inspecting his prey. “I know it is. I can see it on your face. You still want me.” His lips playfully ran along the side of my neck, sucking on my pulse point, and I moaned. My brain took a leave of absence and my body went on autopilot. I unfolded my arms and looped them around his waist.
I condemned the familiarity of his touch and the sensation of his body against mine to hell. Every slide of his lips against my neck was a pleasurable form of torture. I shouldn’t crave something so toxic to my sanity, but couldn’t resist him. I never could. Time hadn’t changed my reaction to him; it only made him more potent.
The air around us crackled and buzzed with unrestrained lust. My body felt like it would go up in flames any second, even as my ego still wept from his dismissal almost four weeks ago. I was standing on the edge of the cliff waiting for him to tell me to jump.
His hands bit into my hips, drawing me against him. Hip to hip. Chest to chest. Our lips only inches apart, my breathing quickened as I waited for him to make the next move. If he kissed me, claimed me, all bets were off. Everything would change. I didn’t think I could give him up again. I’d fight for him.
“I missed you,” I whispered more to myself than him.
Then, his lips crashed against mine, and I jumped into the rabbit hole of my destruction, surrendering to my inexhaustible weakness for him. I moaned as his tongue slipped through my parted lips. His hands tunneled into my hair, tilting my head back, demanding more, and I willingly gave him everything.
His forbidden, familiar taste made me lightheaded. I wished—not for the first time—that I could take a vaccine and make myself immune to him.
To his charm.
To his smile.
To his smell.
Fuck…I missed his smell. Nobody smelled like him. It was even headier than I remembered. My senses whirled every time I inhaled. I felt as if I had tumbled head first into his bed.
He groaned, and the sound ignited a frenzy inside of both of us. Static hummed in my ears. I didn’t care that we were in my fiancé’s childhood home celebrating my engagement to another man. We could’ve been in a room full of people for all I cared. My driving need for him made me delirious and impulsive. I buried my betrayal of Evan and our engagement deep in the convoluted chambers of my mind.
I needed him. I needed this more than anything else. It had been too long. We staggered even closer to each other, and he braced his hand on the wall behind me to stop us from falling. I wanted to climb inside him and lay claim to his heart and soul, melding us together like two atoms in a nuclear fusion.
Chapter Five
Ryker