I shifted onto my knees and looped my arms around his neck. Rivulets of water streamed down my body. Goosebumps somersaulted down my arms. A mixture of desire and something indecipherable glowed in his eyes. Hypnotic lust wove through my veins.
“Don’t think, Ryker. Just kiss me. Make me forget. I need to forget, and you’re the only one who can help me do that.”
Chapter Twelve
Ryker
Everything moved in slow motion as Hattie’s body rose out of the water like Botticelli’s Birth of Venus. Like so many times since I first saw her, I struggled not to reach out and touch her.
The muted light of the bathroom highlighted her golden eyes. They glimmered like twin gemstones. Water dripped from the tips of her pink nipples. For a spine-tingling second, her unassuming seductive beauty immobilized me. She looked fragile with the faint bruise staining her cheek, but at the same time, I couldn’t remember a moment when I wanted her more. I never wanted to forget the love and trust vibrating from her when I finally destroyed us.
I shuddered the instant she wrapped her arms around me. The recriminations in my head quieted to a dull hum. I sucked in a breath, scrambling to find the will to stop this. All the reasons I needed to let her go floated through my mind, but like tendrils of smoke I couldn’t latch onto any of them. It all came down to one thing: I was bad for her. If I kept her in my life, the days she’d spent as a prisoner of the Alvarez Cartel would pale in comparison to a lifetime in the web of the Vargas Cartel.
I’d trade my soul to the devil to go back in time and change the way things unfolded, but it wasn’t possible. I had to make the best decision for Hattie based on the facts, and the best decision was to send her away. I needed to force her out of my life even if the thought alone cleaved my heart in two. I didn’t see any other way.
My fingers ghosted over the burn marks on her arm and her eyelids fluttered. “I don’t want to hurt you.” Her lips feathered across mine and electricity shot down my spine. I bit back a groan. Dammit, she was hard to refuse—more so now than the first time I met her. My need for her grew every day.
She rested her forehead against mine. “The only way you could hurt me is by leaving me,” she said, her eyes glistening.
My throat tightened at the soft tenor in her voice. My soul devoured her words even though she was wrong. Leaving her was the only way to stop the pain and prevent future heartache, but when she looked at me with love shining from her eyes, reality and desire blurred.
“Hattie,” I whispered, my voice like gravel on glass. It sounded like a benediction mixed with a curse. Half dark. Half light. It captured my character, my life, and my future perfectly.
She flicked open the buttons of my shirt, one after another, and pushed it off my shoulders. She licked her lower lip and my entire body trembled. I wanted her, but my desire for her didn’t stop the guilt from wrapping around my chest like a vice. I shouldn’t do this. I shouldn’t touch her, but with every brush of her fingertips, my resistance evaporated faster than rain on hot asphalt.
Her fingertips coasted over the rectangular bandage on my ribs. It concealed the knife wound inflicted by Enrique Alvarez.
“What happened?”
“A small cut,” I hissed as her hand pressed against the bandage. “Nothing you need to worry about. I’ll be fine.”
“Good. I don’t want to be gentle.” She opened the button of my pants, and I forgot everything but the sound of her breath next to my ear and the soft slide of her lips against my neck. In the blink of an eye, I had convinced myself we could share this last moment before real life bashed us over the head and demolished everything we’d worked so hard to build over the last few months. It was selfish of me, but I didn’t want to fight this any more than I wanted let her go. There’d be plenty of time to sort this out tomorrow.
Groaning, I shoved my pants and boxer briefs down my legs and climbed into the tub with her. I pulled her into my lap and wrapped her legs around my waist. She smelled like soap, shampoo, sunshine, and everything Hattie. I ached to fill her again and make her believe in me, in us, no matter how fleeting the emotion.
“God, Hattie. You have no idea how much I missed you,” I said, resting my forehead against hers.
Hot steam swirled around our bodies, cocooning us in a world where only the two of us existed. I cupped her breasts, and she arched into me. Heat surged through my nerve endings making every point of contact between our bodies flame to life.
“Show me,” she moaned.
Leaning back, my cock slid along her slippery sex. My last shred of common sense fled, and my mouth crashed against hers. Her tongue captured mine within seconds, and we devoured each other. My head spun from her familiar taste. Stopping was no longer an option. My muscles pulled tight like the string of a bow and sweat beaded on my forehead from the heat of the water. Urgency coursed through my veins like my soul knew this might be the last time I’d ever hold her.
The last time she looked at me as her savior.
The last time she surrendered to me unconditionally.
The last time she loved me.
If I concentrated hard enough, I could almost hear the minute hand of our life together counting down to the end of us. Maybe time had conspired against us from the first moment her beautiful golden eyes landed on mine.
Reverently, my hands cupped her breasts and then skated along her ribcage to her waist. Her back arched in invitation, and I had to taste more of her. I sucked her nipple in between my teeth. A gasp exploded out of her mouth, and I grazed her sensitive skin with my teeth.
“Ryker,” she moaned, and I switched my attention to her other breast.
Licking.
Sucking.
Biting.
Showing her that this moment was about pleasure and pain, rather than just pleasure because, for me, that was exactly how it felt.
Pleasure that I could touch her one final time.
Pain that I had to let her go.
Within minutes, her entire body tensed like a coiled spring, vibrating with need as she rode the edge right along with me. Erotic whimpers tumbled from her mouth one after another until they blended into a symphony punctuating every lick, bite, suck and swivel of my hips. Desire and need hummed through my veins like morphine.
I couldn’t wait another minute.
I had to be inside of her.
I had to feel the perfection of us.
I captured her mouth with a mind-drugging kiss. Every flick and roll of my tongue told her without words that I belonged to her even if I couldn’t be with her.
Her hand snaked between our bodies and circled my length, sliding up and down in slow, lazy strokes. A desperate moan spilled from my mouth. Fuck that felt good. I closed my eyes and rocked my hips, but it wasn’t enough.
The pads of my fingers trailed down her waist, following the line of her body to her sex. Simultaneous groans tumbled from our mouths as I slid my finger inside of her. I moved in and out of her slick entrance.
“Do you like that?” I asked even though I knew she did. She was flushed and trembling. Her chest heaved with every breath.