Our hands-off manager’s commitment to finding how our people can fit rather than fixing people who don’t fit has been the central factor in the success of teams. Take the case of Barry.
Barry was so stressed by his financial debts at home that he pushed hard for a sales management position early in his employment, and got it. (Barry was very persuasive and a crafty communicator.) However, Barry simply did not enjoy the responsibilities of leadership. He was easily frustrated with salespeople who didn’t have his natural love of cold-calling and meeting new people. Even though he tried to learn our principles of coaching success instead of forcing it on people, he was still unhappy, and the results showed it.
We finally identified the mismatch and convinced the CEO, Glenda, not to keep trying to “fix” Barry with leadership training and negative performance reports. We asked that Glenda “find” Barry—the real Barry, the true, natural salesperson wanting (but not being allowed) to emerge.
Finally Glenda saw the light and repositioned Barry as a senior major account salesperson and turned him loose in the field where Barry loved to be. After four months, Barry’s commissions were enormous, and he was able to settle all his financial crises at home while loving the job he was doing.
Glenda had just taken her hands off Barry’s natural inclination to succeed. And this powerfully effective “find them, don’t fix them” approach also applies to us as individuals. We benefit when we continue finding out who we are and letting that discovery manifest in the outside world, rather than trying to fix ourselves.
Learning to turn in a new direction
1. We often enjoy going in person to hear the teachings of a dear friend, a philosopher/guru named George Addair who holds wonderful workshops on personal evolution. (This book is dedicated to him.) One of his sayings is “You never overcome anything.” In this Addair means that anything that has been a part of your history will always be a part of your history. You can’t make it go away. However, over time, if you choose to, you can simply defuse and dismiss it and go another way. You can follow another path so that the memory loses all its power over you.
2. When leaders are bold and decisive throughout the day, they often make mistakes and bad calls. It’s part of being in action. It’s a big part of courage. George Patton used to say that an average plan executed right now is far more effective than a great plan that takes a long time to decide to put into action.
3. A hands-off leader can just release a mistake and let go of it. And while it doesn’t disappear, it simply becomes old news. It’s this letting go of the need to “overcome” things that happened in the past that leads to becoming truly powerful.
4. The Greek word metanoeo is translated as “repent’ in the English New Testaments, and W.E. Vine’s Dictionary states that it means “to perceive afterwards.” Therefore, it means to take another look and to change one’s mind or purpose, and it always involves a change for the better. So repent then means nothing more than “turn and go another way.” Some traditions have been trying to teach us that if you’ve done something wrong, you should punish yourself, feel remorse, and burden yourself with your shameful behavior. What the literal translation really wants you to do is just turn away from it and take a newer, better direction in your thinking.
5. When I reflect on my recovery from addiction years ago I realize I didn’t really “overcome” my addiction. I simply took another path. I repented, in the truer, deeper meaning of the word. I realize, too, that if I were to get back on the path of alcohol and drugs I’d have the same problems all over again. The code is there in my brain for addictive drinking. So if I started drinking again, it would be addictive. And it doesn’t matter whether the code came from repetitive use or genetics; it’s there, so I just don’t go there. The process is to not go there. To replace the false spirit of drugs with true spirit.