CHAPTER 32
Lucy
I was playing the violin in the turret room of my apartment, trying to learn a piece the ZydaChicks hoped to perform next season, when I heard thumping on the stairs. Except for my violin practice, the house I lived in was always quiet. My neighbors were not the type to have friends who would clomp up the stairs, so I stopped playing and listened, knowing that if the thumping continued to the third story, it was someone coming to see me. Sure enough, I heard the footsteps reach my landing, and I pulled the door open before my visitor even had a chance to knock.
Shannon burst into the room, her face red with bottled-up tears that exploded as soon as she threw herself onto my couch. I was frightened by her demeanor. I thought something was wrong with the baby, or that Tanner had broken up with her, or that Julie had been hurt in an accident. I knew that sort of thinking was more like Julie’s than mine, but I couldn’t help myself. Something traumatic had happened, and Shannon was sobbing so violently that she couldn’t get the words out.
“Tell me,” I said, sitting down next to her, grasping her hand. “What happened?”
She shook her head, nearly hyperventilating, tears flying from her cheeks. I thought I was going to start crying myself. Anything that could hurt my niece that badly was bound to hurt me, too.
Finally she caught her breath long enough to speak.
“I went home,” she said, “to Mom’s…to start packing and I heard this noise coming from her bedroom and I thought maybe Dad had come over and they were…” She shut her eyes. “You know, having sex. But it wasn’t Dad.” She looked at me. “It was that Ethan Chapman guy.”
Relief washed over me, followed quickly by a joy I did not allow to show on my face. All right, Julie! I thought. You go, girl!
“And that’s what has you so upset?” I asked.
“I’m angry.” She pulled her hand from mine to punch it into my sofa cushion. “I’m furious at her. She was a shitty wife to Dad and then she makes this like, totally major dinner for someone else and then actually has sex with him. She never appreciated Daddy, and it pisses me off to see her treating some other man like he’s a god or something. Ethan Chapman, Ethan Chapman. She hasn’t shut up about him since she saw that letter.”
I hurt for Shannon. I knew the divorce had been hard on her—harder, I thought now, than any of us had realized. She loved both her parents—her hardworking, worrywart of a mother and her reserved and gentle father—and as much as the end of the marriage had been a surprise to Julie, it had been a far greater shock to Shannon. She’d cried for a month when Glen moved out, and I knew she’d blamed Julie then, just as she was blaming her now. Julie took on that blame rather than say anything that might tarnish Shannon’s feelings about Glen. I was not feeling quite that noble.
“What has your father told you about why he and your mother got divorced?” I asked.
Shannon leaned back against the couch with a groan, looking at the ceiling.
“Not this again,” she said. “I’m sick of talking about it, and it doesn’t matter. He said he still loves her, but she was too wrapped up in her work. Mom never got it…that her marriage was more important than her stupid Granny Fran. If she’d figure that out, they could get back together.“
“Your dad said that?”
“Not exactly, but I think it’s obvious,” she said. “He never dates. I think he’s just waiting for Mom to get her priorities straight and put her stupid career second instead of first all the time.”
I was starting to get angry myself and had to work to keep my voice level. “Her stupid career bought you your car, your cello lessons, your summers at music camp, and is going to pay for your college,” I said. “Or at least, it was going to pay for your college.”
She rolled her eyes and looked at the ceiling again. She’d figured out whose side I was on.
“Listen to me, Shannon,” I said. “I understand how much you love your parents and want them to get back together, but that’s little-girl kind of wishful thinking. It’s not going to happen. And although your mother may have spent more time working than was healthy for her marriage, that divorce was in no way her fault. Your mother loved your dad. Try to remember the things she did do for him. The surprise trip to France, because she knew how much he loves it there? How she canceled part of her book tour to nurse him through pneumonia that last year? How she stuck little love notes to him all over the house? And who did the cooking, even though she was working all day just like he was?”
Her face was turned away from me, but I saw her swallow hard.
“And she did all of that in addition to making a really beautiful home for him.Yes, she was busy with her work, but so was he.Your mother wasn’t a bad wife.” I steeled myself, knowing I was coming close to blowing her world apart. “The truth is,” I said, “your father had a typical midlife crisis.”
She turned her head to look at me then, frowning. “No, he didn’t,” she said.
“Yes, he did.” I was emphatic. I wondered how much I should tell her. “Your mother has let you blame her for everything, but your father was the one who wanted to end the marriage. He wanted to—”
“Are you saying he cheated on her?” She was obviously prepared to argue that point with me. There was a deep furrow between her eyebrows.
I hesitated. “I think that he should be the one to talk to you about that, not me.”
“I don’t believe it.” She folded her arms across her chest, on top of her ever-expanding belly.
“Yes, he had an affair,” I said. “The woman he was seeing called your mom to fill her in. Do you know what that did to your mother? Do you care? Her heart was torn out. Imagine if someone you loved…imagine if you suddenly found out that Tanner, who you obviously trust and who is your friend, if you suddenly realized he was seeing someone else behind your back. Imagine that pain. Then multiply it by a thousand, because that’s what it was like for your mother.”
Shannon stared at me, stunned. For a moment, neither of us spoke.
“Why didn’t she ever tell me that?” Her voice was quiet, a whisper.
“Why do you think?” I asked.
“So I wouldn’t turn against Dad?”
“Of course.”
She looked away from me, gnawing at her lower lip. “I can’t believe Dad could do something like that,” she said.
“He’s human, Shannon. It doesn’t make him evil.” Glen would kill me. Julie might, too. “He was going through a screwed-up time and sometimes people think an affair will solve their problems. But the bottom line is that your mother is not in love with him anymore. She was hurt too badly and that trust is gone, and I think it became clear to both of them that they weren’t right for each other any longer. The main thing they still have in common is that they love you, and they always will. Your mother’s struggled the past couple of years, trying to learn how to be a single woman again when she’d expected to be married to your father for the rest of her life. Finally she’s met someone who’s both a friend and a…romantic interest. Let her have that, Shannon. She needs that companionship. Please don’t be selfish.”
The tears were back in her eyes again, but they were soft tears this time, just lying along the base of her thick lower lashes. “Do you think I’m selfish?” she asked.
I hesitated. “I think it’s normal for someone your age to be wrapped up in herself,” I said. “Which is why it’s usually hard for a teenager to be good mother material. You’re really going to have to work at it if you keep this baby.”
She blinked, and one of the tears trailed slowly down her cheek.
“I told her I didn’t want her to meet Tanner,” she said.
“Well,” I said as I brushed the tear away with my hand, “why don’t you fix that?”