7
The train was beginning to glide past the platform as I took refuge in my compartment and collapsed on the seat. I abandoned myself to the flow of tepid air from the heating and the gentle rocking of the train. We left the city behind us, crossing the forest of factories and chimneys and escaping the shroud of scarlet light that covered it. Slowly the wasteland of railway depots and trains abandoned on sidings dissolved into an endless plain of fields, woodlands, rivers, and hills crowned with large, run-down houses and watchtowers. The occasional covered wagon or hamlet peered through a bank of mist. Small railway stations slipped by; bell towers and farmhouses appeared like mirages in the distance.
At some point in the journey I fell asleep, and when I woke again the landscape had changed dramatically. We were now passing through steep valleys with rocky crags rising between lakes and streams. The train skirted great forests that climbed the soaring mountains. After a while, the tangle of hills and tunnels cut into the rock gave way to a large open valley with never-ending pastures, where herds of wild horses galloped across the snow and small stone villages appeared in the distance. The peaks of the Pyrenees rose up on the other side, their snow-covered slopes set alight by the amber glow of evening. In front of us was a jumble of houses and buildings clustered around a hill. The ticket inspector put his head through the door of my compartment and smiled.
‘Next stop, Puigcerdà,’ he announced.
The train stopped and let out a blast of steam that inundated the platform. When I got out I was enveloped in a thick mist that smelled of static. Shortly afterwards, I heard the stationmaster’s bell and the train set off again. As the coaches filed past, the shape of the station began to emerge around me like an apparition. I was alone on the platform. A fine curtain of snow was falling, and to the west a red sun peeped below the vault of clouds, scattering the snow with tiny bright embers. I went over to the stationmaster’s office and knocked on the glass door. He looked up, opened the door and gazed at me distractedly.
‘Could you tell me how to find a place called Villa San Antonio?’
He raised an eyebrow.
‘The sanatorium?’
‘I think so.’
The stationmaster adopted the pensive air of someone trying to work out how best to offer directions to a stranger. Then, with the help of a whole catalogue of gestures and expressions, he came up with the following:
‘You have to walk right through the village, past the church square, until you reach the lake. On the other side of the lake there’s a long avenue with large houses on either side that leads to Paseo de la Rigolisa. There, on a corner, you’ll find a three-storey house surrounded by a garden. That’s the sanatorium.’
‘And do you know of anywhere I might find accommodation?’
‘On the way you’ll pass the Hotel del Lago. Tell them Sebas sent you.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Good luck . . .’
I walked through the lonely streets of the village beneath the falling snow, looking for the outline of the church tower. On the way I passed a few locals, who bobbed their heads and looked at me suspiciously. When I reached the square, two men who were unloading coal from a cart pointed me in the right direction, and a couple of minutes later I found myself walking down a road that bordered a large, frozen lake surrounded by stately-looking mansions with pointed towers. The great expanse of white was studded with small rowing boats trapped in the ice, and around it, like a ribbon, ran a promenade punctuated by benches and trees. I walked over to the edge and gazed at the frozen lake spread out at my feet. The ice must have been almost twenty centimetres thick and in some places it shone like opaque glass, hinting at the current of black water that flowed under its shell.
The Hotel del Lago, a two-storey house painted dark red, stood at the end of the lake. Before continuing on my way, I stopped to book a room for two nights and paid in advance. The receptionist informed me that the hotel was almost empty and I could take my pick of rooms.
‘Room 101 has spectacular views of the sunrise over the lake,’ he suggested. ‘But if you prefer a room facing north I have—’
‘You choose,’ I cut in, indifferent to the majestic beauty of the landscape.
‘Then room 101 it is. In the summer, it’s the honeymooners’ favourite.’
He handed me the keys of the nuptial suite and informed me of the hours for dinner. I told him I’d return later and asked if Villa San Antonio was far from there. The receptionist adopted the same expression I had seen on the face of the stationmaster, first shaking his head, then giving me a friendly smile.
‘It’s quite near, about ten minutes’ walk. If you take the promenade at the end of this street, you’ll see it a short distance away. You can’t miss it.’
Ten minutes later I was standing by the gates of a large garden strewn with dead leaves half-buried in the snow. Beyond the garden, Villa San Antonio rose up like a sombre sentinel wrapped in a halo of golden light that radiated from the windows. As I crossed the garden my heart was pounding and my hands perspired despite the bitter cold. I walked up the stairs to the main door. The entrance hall was covered in black and white floor tiles like a chessboard and led to a staircase at the far end. There I saw a young girl in a nurse’s uniform holding the hand of a man who was trembling and seemed to be eternally suspended between two steps, as if his whole life had suddenly become trapped in that moment.
‘Good afternoon?’ said a voice to my right.
Her eyes were black and severe, her features sharp, without a trace of warmth, and she had the serious air of one who has learned not to expect anything but bad news. She must have been in her early fifties, and although she wore the same uniform as the young nurse, everything about her exuded authority and rank.
‘Good afternoon. I’m looking for someone called Cristina Sagnier. I have reason to believe she is staying here . . .’
The woman observed me without batting an eyelid.
‘Nobody stays here, sir. This place is not a hotel or a guest house.’
‘I’m sorry. I’ve just come on a long journey in search of this person . . .’
‘Don’t apologise,’ said the nurse. ‘May I ask you if you are family or a close friend?’
‘My name is David Martín. Is Cristina Sagnier here? Please . . .’
The nurse’s expression softened and there followed the hint of a smile. I took a deep breath.
‘I’m Teresa, the sister in charge of night duty. If you’d be so kind as to follow me, Se?or Martín, I’ll take you to the office of Doctor Sanjuán.’
‘How is Se?orita Sagnier? Can I see her?’
Another faint and impenetrable smile.
‘This way, please.’
The rectangular room had four blue walls but no windows and was lit by two lamps that hung from the ceiling, giving off a metallic light. The only three objects in the room were an empty table and two chairs. It was cold and the air smelled of disinfectant. The nurse had described the room as an office, but after ten minutes of waiting on my own, anchored to one of the chairs, all I could see was a cell. Even though the door was shut I could hear voices, sometimes isolated shouts, on the other side of the wall. I was beginning to lose all notion of how long I’d been there when the door opened and a man came in. He was in his mid-thirties and wore a white coat. His smile was as cold as the air that filled the room. Doctor Sanjuán, I imagined. He walked round the table and sat on the other chair, planting his hands on the desk and observing me with vague curiosity for a few moments.
‘I realise you must be tired after your journey but I’d like to know why Se?or Pedro Vidal isn’t here,’ he said at last.
‘He wasn’t able to come.’
The doctor kept his gaze fixed on me, waiting. His eyes were cold and he seemed like the type of person who listens but does not hear.
‘Can I see her?’
‘You can’t see anyone unless you tell me the truth about why you’re here.’
I surrendered. I hadn’t travelled a hundred and fifty kilometres just to lie.
‘My name is Martín, David Martín. I’m a friend of Cristina Sagnier.’
‘Here we call her Se?ora de Vidal.’
‘I don’t care what you call her; I want to see her. Now.’
The doctor sighed.
‘Are you the writer?’
I stood up impatiently.
‘What sort of place is this? Why can’t I see her?’
‘Sit down, please. I beg you.’
He pointed to the chair and waited for me to sit down again.
‘May I ask when was the last time you saw her or spoke to her?’
‘Just over a month ago,’ I replied. ‘Why?’
‘Do you know anyone who might have seen or spoken to her since then?’
‘No . . . I don’t know. What’s going on?’
The doctor put his fingertips to his lips, measuring his words.
‘Se?or Martín, I’m afraid I have bad news.’
I felt a knot in the pit of my stomach.
‘What’s wrong with her?’
The doctor did not reply, and for the first time I thought I glimpsed the shadow of a doubt in his eyes.
‘I don’t know,’ he said.
We walked along a short corridor flanked by metal doors. Doctor Sanjuán went in front of me, holding a bunch of keys in his hands. As we passed I thought I could hear voices whispering, suppressed laughter and sobs. The room was at the end of the corridor. The doctor opened the door but stopped at the threshold, his expression unreadable.
‘Fifteen minutes,’ he said.
I went in and heard the doctor shut the door behind me. Before me lay a room with a high ceiling and white walls reflected in a floor of shining tiles. On one side stood a bed - a metallic frame surrounded by a white gauze curtain. It was empty. Large French windows looked out over the snowy garden, trees, and in the distance the outline of the lake. I didn’t notice her until I’d taken a few steps into the room.
She was sitting in an armchair by the window, wearing a white nightdress, her hair up in a plait. I went round in front of her and looked straight at her, but her eyes didn’t move. I knelt down next to her, but she didn’t even blink. I put my hand over hers, but she didn’t move a single muscle. Then I noticed the bandages covering her arms, from her wrists to her elbows, and the straps that tied her to the chair. I stroked her cheek, gathering a tear that trickled down her face.
‘Cristina,’ I whispered.
Her eyes were blank: she seemed completely unaware of my presence. I brought a chair over and sat opposite her.
‘It’s David,’ I murmured.
For a quarter of an hour we remained like that, not speaking, her hand in mine, her eyes lost and my questions unanswered. At some point I heard the door open again and felt someone taking me gently by the arm and pulling me away. It was Doctor Sanjuán. I let myself be led to the corridor without offering any resistance. The doctor shut the door and took me back to his freezing office. I collapsed into a chair, unable to utter a single word.
‘Would you like me to leave you alone for a few minutes?’ he asked.
I nodded. The doctor left the room, closing the door behind him. I stared at my right hand, which was shaking, and clenched my fist. I hardly felt the cold of that room, or heard the shouts and voices that filtered through the walls. I only knew that I needed some air and had to get out of that place.