“And do what? Watch him die?” Jenni shook her head. “Fuck that. I’m going. I am good at this sort of thing. How many rescue teams have I been on?”
“You’re still new at scavenging and it’s a little different,” Roger answered. “Death rates on the scavenging teams are higher than the rescue.” Everyone in the room looked at him obviously wishing he hadn’t spoken that particular bit of truth.
“Sorry, but seriously, there are a lot more redshirts on the scavenging teams,” Roger said a tad defensively.
Travis took hold of Jenni’s arm lightly and gazed down into her face. “You are a good fighter. We all know that. But wouldn’t you rather be with Juan right now?” “Doing what? Crying? Praying? Staring at him, hoping he moves?” Jenni again shook her head, almost violently. “I can feel myself going crazy in there waiting. At least this way, I’m trying to do something to save his life other than waiting for him to die.”
Travis stepped back, his eyes lowering. “Jenni...”
“Travis, don’t keep me from going out there. I’m begging you.”
Katie slipped into the dining room behind Jenni. She looked pale and frustrated. “She won’t listen to me.”
“She does have a point,” Bill interjected. “Watching the one you love die slowly and not be able to help is a hell unto itself.” His eyes held incredible sadness. “I would have done anything to save my wife from cancer. I would have climbed Mount Everest to save her.”
Travis could feel all the eyes in the room on him. “Jenni, if you go and something happens…”
Jenni whirled on him, her tear-filled eyes flashing with anger. “I can’t just sit there and wait! I can’t! I fucking can’t be helpless this time! Okay?”
“She’s made her choice.” Dale spoke up for the first time. “Everyone has got a right to make a choice.”
“We could use her,” Linda finally ventured. “Juan is my cousin and I love him. Yeah, I’m scared knowing the risks, but he has always treated me like his little sister. I gotta do what I can to save him. Let her go, Travis.” Lenore and Ken were seated side by side and by their lowered heads and averted gazes, it was obvious they did not want to get involved. Felix just sighed deeply and looked away. Charlotte fussed with the printouts she had used for her debriefing, obviously refusing to say a word about the situation.
Travis reached out slowly to Jenni, and she flung herself into his arms. He held her close, feeling her trembling. “Jenni, can you keep it together out there?”
She nodded vigorously. “I can out there better than I can here.” Katie slid her hand over Jenni’s long hair slowly. She looked agonized, but said in a quivering voice, “She’ll do fine out there.”
Travis held Jenni tightly, laying his head on the top of her head. He could feel her anguish pouring out of her, filling the room. What would he do if Katie lay dying? The answer was obvious. Even he wanted to go to help his friend, but was held back by his position. But Jenni should have the choice, despite his personal misgivings.
“Okay, go, Jenni. I don’t think we could stop you if we tried,” Travis finally said.
Katie wiped away tears and Jenni turned and wrapped her arms around her. Holding each other tightly, the two women wept. “I gotta go,”Jenni whispered.
“I know,” Katie answered, looking at Travis. “I know.” Travis reached out and touched her cheek lovingly. “Be careful out there, Jenni.”
“I will. I promise.”
“Then it’s settled. Jenni, get over here so I can catch you up, then we gotta go,” Bill said firmly. Jenni pulled away from Travis, wiping away her tears. Walking toward Bill and Charlotte, she threw a smile back his way that was both grateful and terribly sad.
Travis slightly smiled back. Turning, he saw his wife staring after Jenni. She had huge tears rolling down her cheeks, and it broke his heart to see her in pain.
“She’ll be okay. She’s more of a badass than I’ll ever be.”
“True, but I can’t help but worry.” Katie turned away, moving toward the hall. “I hate today. I hate everything about it.”
Travis hurried after her, his hand gripping her elbow lightly. “Honey, go lie down for a bit. Okay?”
“How can I? With Jenni going out and Juan in there...” Her voice caught and she covered her mouth.
“Have you eaten yet?”
Shaking her head, she looked quite guilty.
“Okay, I want you to eat something, then go lay down. You have to think about the baby.”
“I can’t until they leave, okay?”
Travis nodded, frowning slightly. “Okay, but after they go-”
“I promise.” Katie blinked the tears from her lashes and let out a soft moan of despair. “God, Travis...”
Taking her in his arms, he held her tight, kissing her face and hair. “We’ll make it through. I promise. We’ll make it.”
Chapter 8
1. Bless Me Father
Jenni leaned over and gently kissed Juan’s dry lips. Her fingers played over his curls and she took in a deep shuddering breath. Resting her hand lightly on his chest, she could feel the faint thudding of his heart.
“Keep strong, baby. I love you.”
With one last kiss, she straightened and stepped back from the bed. Rosie reached out to touch her hand. Jenni clasped the older woman’s and squeezed it. They shared a quiet moment, then Jenni kissed her cheek and left the room.
Her long black hair fell freely around her shoulders as she walked toward the chapel. People looked toward her, but no one spoke. She was wearing the red sweater that Juan liked to see her in and her lucky jeans. Her stomach was rolling with nerves, but she didn’t care anymore. She was going to save Juan. Ken stood near the open door to the chapel and smiled slightly as she approached. “Bill says we got ten minutes.”
“Okay. That should be enough time. I just don’t want to go out there without having God at my back.”
Walking inside, she found the Reverend waiting for her with a Communion of saltines and red Kool-Aid. She had specifically asked for Communion and he had quickly agreed. She was surprised to see some of the other members of the teams gathered as well. Taking a seat, she pulled out her rosary and threaded it between her fingers.
The Reverend did his best to improvise a Catholic Communion, and she adored him for it. She knew he struggled to be all things to all the different denominations in the fort and she thought he did an amazing job. He was even wearing a white robe made from a tablecloth. It touched her.
When it came time to partake of the Communion, she felt her hands shaking. Despite her need to go out into the deadlands and bring back the things that would save her love, she was terrified. Juan’s injury made her feel vulnerable. She hated that feeling.
Taking the piece of stale saltine on her tongue, she closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on the Risen Christ and the Blessed Virgin. The Kool-Aid was a bit tart, but she downed it. Crossing herself, she whispered fervent prayers to the Holy Trinity and the Queen of Heaven.
“Just let him live,”she whispered.