Fun. It was ironic. Months ago, I'd argued with Dimitri about how it wasn't fair that, as a guardian-in-training, I had to watch my reputation and not act too crazy. He'd agreed it wasn't fair that I couldn't do the kinds of things other girls my age could, but that that was the price I paid for my future. I'd been upset, but after Victor's meddling, I started to see Dimitri's point - to such an extent that he'd actually hinted I shouldn't try to limit myself that much. Now, after Spokane, I felt like a completely different girl from the one who'd talked to Dimitri last fall about having fun. I was only a couple months from graduation. High school things...dances...boyfriends...what did they matter in the grand scheme of things? Everything at the Academy seemed so trivial - unless it was making me a better guardian.
"I don't really think I need a boyfriend to complete my high school experience," I told her.
"I don't think you do either," she agreed, tugging her ponytail straight. "But you used to flirt and go out sometimes. I feel like it'd just be nice for you to do a little of that. It's not like you'd have to have anything serious with Adrian."
"Well, you won't get any arguments from him on that. I think the last thing he wants is anything serious, that's the problem."
"Well, according to some of the stories, he's very serious. I heard the other day that you were engaged. Someone else said that he'd been disowned because he told his dad he'd never love anyone else."
"Ahhhh." There was really no other adequate response to all these silly rumors. "The creepy thing is that the same stories are all over the place at the elementary campus too." I stared at the ceiling. "Why does this stuff keep happening to me?"
She walked over to the couch and looked down at me. "Because you're awesome, and everyone loves you."
"Nah. You're the one everyone loves."
"Well, then, I guess we're both awesome and loveable. And one of these days" - a mischievous sparkle danced in her eyes - "we'll find a guy you love back."
"Don't hold your breath. None of that matters. Not right now. You're the one I've got to worry about. We're going to graduate, and you'll go off to college, and it'll be great. No more rules, just us on our own."
"It's a little scary," she mused. "Thinking about being on my own. But you'll be with me. And Dimitri too." She sighed. "I can't imagine not having you around. I can't even really remember when you weren't around."
I sat up and gave her a light punch in her arm. "Hey, be careful. You're going to make Christian jealous. Oh crap. I suppose he's going to be around too, huh? No matter where we end up going?"
"Probably. You, me, him, Dimitri, and any guardians Christian gets. One big happy family."
I scoffed, but inside of me, there was a warm fuzzy feeling building. Things were crazy in our world right now, but I had all these great people in my life. As long as we were all together, everything would be okay.
She looked at the clock, and her fear returned. "I've gotta go. Will you ... will you go with me?"
"You know I can't."
"I know... not in body... but like, will you do that thing? Where you're watching in my head? It'll make me feel like I'm not alone."
It was the first time Lissa had ever asked me to purposely do that. Normally, she hated the thought of me seeing through her eyes. It was a sign of how nervous she really was.
"Sure," I said. "It's probably better than anything on TV anyway."
I returned to my own room, taking up an identical position on the couch. Clearing my thoughts, I opened myself up to Lissa's mind, going beyond simply knowing her feelings. It was something the shadow-kissed bond allowed me to do and was the most intense part of our connection. It wasn't just feeling her thoughts - it was actually being inside of her, looking through her eyes and sharing her experiences. I'd learned to control it only recently. I used to slip in without wanting to, much as I sometimes couldn't keep her feelings out. I could control my out-of-body experiences now and even summon up the phenomenon at will - just like I was about to do.
Lissa had just reached the parlor the queen was waiting in. Moroi might use terms like "royal" and even kneel sometimes, but there were no thrones or anything like that here. Tatiana sat in an ordinary armchair, dressed in a navy blue skirt and blazer, looking more like a corporate businesswoman than any sort of monarch. She wasn't alone, either. A tall, stately Moroi whose blond hair was laced with silver sat near her. I recognized her: Priscilla Voda, the queen's friend and adviser. We'd met her on the ski trip, and she'd been impressed with Lissa. I took her presence as a good sign. Silent guardians, dressed in black and white, stood along the wall. To my astonishment, Adrian was there too. He reclined on a small love seat, seeming completely oblivious to the fact that he was hanging out with the Moroi's ultimate leader. The guardian with Lissa announced her.
"Princess Vasilisa Dragomir."
Tatiana nodded in acknowledgment. "Welcome, Vasilisa. Please sit down."
Lissa sat down near Adrian, her apprehension growing by leaps and bounds. A Moroi servant came by and offered tea or coffee, but Lissa declined. Tatiana meanwhile sipped from a teacup and scrutinized Lissa from head to toe. Priscilla Voda broke the awkward silence.
"Remember what I said about her?" Priscilla asked cheerfully. "She was very impressive at our state dinner in Idaho. Settled a huge spat over Moroi fighting with guardians. She even managed to calm Adrian's father down."
A frosty smile crossed Tatiana's cold features. "That is impressive. Half the time, I still feel like Nathan is twelve years old."