and Thirty
Josephine sat on her balcony with a glass of red wine, looking out over the gardens and wondering if the man who had her daughter and who had murdered her mother-in-law was coming for her and Jake.
It felt unreal knowing that Hannah was dead. Stabbed in her own home, by some mad fucker who had evaded capture. Now her home was overrun with armed men, sent by Michael to protect them. Little Jake was loving the company, bless him, unaware of the danger they were in.
She had a twelve-gauge shotgun by her side, and a Glock 22 handgun lying on the table in front of her. If anyone was coming here, she was more than ready to fight her end. It was odd, but she had always found handling guns very easy from the time Michael taught her to use one. She liked the feel of them, the knowledge that they were capable of so much destruction. It was the secret of guns: the weakest person in the world could protect themselves from the biggest of enemies, because a gun was relatively lightweight, and had the power over life and death.
Even though Michael had seen fit to drown their home with his armed men, she felt much safer knowing that she was armed too. Hannah had been taken out on her doorstep, stabbed like a fucking animal, and whoever had done that also had her daughter in his clutches. If only she had been capable of passing his message on to Michael, this might have been avoided. She had been hoping that he would come to see her and, if he had, then she would have been able to show him the letter.
It was a learning curve, she supposed – she was unable to justify her actions any longer. It didn’t mean she was going to be able to change overnight; this wasn’t a fucking film, where everything was resolved in an hour and a half, this was her real fucking life. But she could at least make a conscious decision this time to get the help that she so desperately needed. Surely that was a start?
Jake came running into her room, hyper with excitement.
‘Nana, one of Granddad’s friends said he would teach me to play poker! Can I learn it, please?’
Josephine was grateful Jake was distracted. ‘’Course you can! It’s a very tricky game, though, so make sure you listen to what the man tells you carefully.’
Jake Flynn was dressed in his favourite Peppa Pig pyjamas – he was obsessed with Peppa, and would happily wear these until they fell apart. He was holding his favourite book which he had tucked under his arm – he adored The Gruffalo and he had read it over and over again. He looked very handsome and so vulnerable, that Josephine felt almost tearful as she looked at him. He deserved much more than she had ever given to him. She had lost out on so much of his little life.
‘I like playing cards. I told the man that and he laughed! He said I was Granddad’s double, and I think that’s a good thing, Nana, don’t you? Dana is going to learn with me, so that we can play poker together.’
Josephine hugged him to her tightly. She kissed his thick, dark hair, drinking in the smell of Matey bubble bath and jojoba shampoo.
He hugged her back with one arm, before pulling away from her. Then he noticed the gun on the table in front of her. He said solemnly, ‘Nana, you better be very careful with that.’
Josephine could hear the underlying fear in his voice. He was six years old and already he knew that guns were dangerous. One day, of course, he would have to understand that, in the world his granddad lived in, guns were a necessity – a part of their everyday life. The charmed life that they lived came at a price, and that price was often higher than anyone realised. It was a dangerous life, and that was more apparent now than ever before.
‘I will, darling. I will be very careful. Now, you go and learn how to play poker. Don’t worry about anything. No one will ever let anything bad happen to you, I promise.’
As he ran back down to the kitchen, she wondered if she could keep that promise. She remembered the night that the Cornel brothers had arrived at her door, remembered Jessie’s shock and horror at the night’s events. She could see herself telling her daughter to lock herself in her bedroom, and not to be frightened of anything. She had found an inner strength that night to protect her home, her sanctuary, from the threat of the outside world. Jessie had seen her with the gun that night, and it had terrified her. Jessie had understood the danger they were in. It had changed her daughter – she had been forced to grow up that night.