Ever since Michael had let rip at her, she was deeply worried that they were never going to be able to recover. She had not seen him since – he had not even called her. She wondered if this was the end of the line for them. She didn’t even encourage sex any more – she didn’t want it. If she did succumb to him, she didn’t take an active part, she just lay there and waited for it to be over. Michael wouldn’t force her into something she didn’t want – he was too decent, too kind to ever make her do anything she didn’t want to. But now she wondered if she had inadvertently shot herself in the foot. He was still a handsome, vibrant man, and he could easily find a young woman to fulfil his needs. She had always believed that his love for her had been enough, but now she wasn’t so sure. She always looked perfect, but that wasn’t enough.
‘Will you answer me, Nana!’ Jake was cross, and his strident voice had broken into her reverie.
Josephine smiled at him. ‘I’m sorry, my little darling. What were you saying?’
But Jake didn’t answer her, he was feeling very cross. It was hard trying to talk to his nana when she was so obviously not listening to him. She never listened to him!
‘Please, Jake, I’m so sorry. I didn’t hear you. Nana has a lot on her mind today.’
Jake stood up, he had been sitting at her feet as usual, but he wasn’t in the mood for his nana’s strangeness today. ‘I’m going, Nana. If you won’t talk to me then I want to be in the garden.’
Josephine was mortified. Jake looked so cross with her. He really was Michael’s double – he even had her husband’s expressions, especially now as he stood before her with folded arms, his handsome face dark with anger.
‘I’m going to ask Dana to play with me outside and when Granddad comes home, I’m going to ask him when my mummy will be back.’
He stormed out of the room, and Josephine didn’t stop him. She sat back in her chair, aware that she should have chased after him, made him feel wanted. But how could she do that when, in all honesty, she didn’t really want to?
She leant down and picked up his sweet wrappers; he had eaten a Kit Kat and a miniature Mars Bar. She folded both of the wrappers up neatly and carefully and placed them in the box beside her chair.
She started to tremble all over. She was having trouble breathing, and she closed her eyes and concentrated on taking deep, long breaths. It was an awful feeling. Her doctor said the panic attacks came on when she was feeling stressed. Well, of course she was stressed! Her daughter was missing and her grandson was cross with her. Coupled with her husband’s angry shouting, it was inevitable.
She forced back the tears that were threatening and, going to her dressing table, she repaired her make-up carefully. It didn’t make her feel better as it usually did. She sat back down in her chair and wondered if her husband was going to ring her, and put her mind at rest. She poured herself out another large glass of red wine and, as she sipped it, she decided that she would put on one of her favourite DVDs.
Chapter One Hundred
and Twenty-Four
‘Look, Lana, I am doing all I can to locate my daughter. If I was you, I’d try and fucking sort out your own daughter – my wife! In case it’s escaped your notice, she hasn’t left her fucking bedroom since the old King died! Now fuck off and stop ringing me. If I have any news, you will be one of the first to hear it.’
Michael slammed down the phone. He was so angry. Who did she think she was? Lana was like Josephine and his mother – they expected him to miraculously sort everything out for them. And he did, most of the time, but the only thing he wanted to concentrate on now was finding Jessie, and chasing down that fucker Golding. The last thing he needed was to spend time on the phone with people he would happily avoid if he wasn’t related to them!
Declan Costello laughed. ‘Well, that fucking told her, anyway!’
Michael looked at Declan; he was such a good friend to him, despite everything that had happened in the past. ‘Fucking Lana! She’s a pain in the arse. Josephine takes after her. She thinks that everything in the world revolves around her and fuck everybody else. Do you know something, Declan? Josephine hasn’t left the house for years. That mad cunt who’s got my Jessie sent her a letter with a number to call, and she didn’t even fucking ring me to tell me! She now can’t even make a phone call apparently! The fucking mad bitch. But she can take a call. You tell me where the logic is in that?’
Declan sighed. ‘I know, Michael, you told me this before, mate. We all know your Josephine is a bit eccentric. But don’t say anything you’ll regret tomorrow, eh?’
Michael had always played down Josephine’s oddities. Personally, Declan thought she was fucking barking. But then he wasn’t married to her, thank fuck.
Michael snorted with derision. ‘Eccentric? Is that what you really think? She is a fucking card-carrying, bona fide head banger. I just wish I’d admitted it to myself ages ago. My mother, another fucking so-called “strong” woman, warned me about her from the off. She said she was a bit fucking doolally tap. But I had to have her. I loved Josephine so much, like she was a fucking terminal disease I’d contracted. I let her get away with murder. No matter how fucking nutty she got, I just kept pretending that it was perfectly normal. But it’s not, Declan. She doesn’t give a fuck about Jessie, not really, or little Jake – or even me for that matter. All she cares about is herself, and her fucking problems. I am so fucking sick of it.’