As Jessie Flynn walked out of a pub in Soho, the cold night air hit her. She staggered slightly in her high-heeled shoes, and leant back against the wall for a few seconds to steady herself. She was out of her nut, as per usual, and she was also bored – bored of the company she was in, bored of her life in general. Her father didn’t seem bothered any more about her or her antics, something she was having trouble accepting. Even her mother was losing interest in her these days. After years of trying to buy her back into their life, controlling her with their cash, and attempting to make her take an interest in her son, her parents had suddenly stopped. She had a feeling she had won, but what she had actually won, she wasn’t sure. In fact, she now felt much more like she was the one who had lost something important.
There was no more pretending from her father, no more acting like everything was OK between them. He wasn’t rude as such, but he was clearly ashamed of her and the life she lived. That’s exactly what she had always wanted; she had been determined to beat him, prove to him that she didn’t care about anything, especially not him, or his precious reputation. Strangely, her dad turning away from her didn’t make her feel as good as she had thought it would. In fact, her dad’s attitude the last few times she had seen him had made her feel like she was the one in the wrong, that she was the bad bastard.
She sighed. She was too out of it to think about anything rationally. She rummaged through her handbag for a pack of cigarettes, and lit a Marlboro Light, toking on it deeply before blowing the smoke out into the night slowly. She was tired, but that wasn’t anything new to her – she was always fucking tired lately. She spent more time out of her flat than she did inside it. She loved being in company, enjoying herself. Life was too short – her own father had shown her the truth of that. She had learnt at a young age the value of a human life. She was far too young to settle down anyway.
She was also far too young for the man she was with tonight. He was boring the arse off her – all he talked about was himself. She heard the door open and knew that it was Jonny Parsons looking for her. He was so sure of himself, it wouldn’t occur to him that she was with him for no other reason than he was a lowlife piece of shit. She didn’t have the patience for him now, he was getting on her nerves big time. The idiot. He looked baffled and sorry for himself. She could see the wrinkles around his eyes and the flakiness of his skin – he was a real prize. Lately, she’d noticed that the more out of it she got, the more she seemed to see the truth of her situation and the life she lived. She was feeling more and more disgruntled by the day.
‘What’s going on, babe? For fuck’s sake, I turned around and you were gone.’
Jessie rolled her eyes in annoyance. He was a real prick. Why hadn’t she admitted that to herself before now? He was on the wrong side of forty, he was overweight, he dressed like a fucking extra from The Sopranos and he talked like a fucking special guest on The Jeremy Kyle Show. He was a complete fucking embarrassment. She stepped away from him quickly, hating that he was too stupid to take the hint that she didn’t want to associate with him any more. She had sussed out that her main attraction for him was her father – all he wanted from her was an in.
‘I’m not your fucking babe, or anyone else’s, you fucking moron. Who says “babe” in this day and age, for fuck’s sake? Have you heard yourself? You sound like a reject from the eighties. Fuck off and leave me alone.’
Jonny Parsons was really drunk and stoned, although he wasn’t capable of any kind of lucid conversation at the best of times. Jessie Flynn was starting to get on his tits. He had invested time and money in this arrogant little bitch, and she had the nerve to talk to him like he was a fucking corner boy? She was without any kind of reputation, she had fucked over more people than a high-street bank, and she had nothing going for her other than her name. Who the fuck did she think she was? She had a bad attitude and she talked to people like they were fucking idiots. She didn’t seem to understand that she wasn’t exactly a fucking prize herself. She was a whore – that was all she was and all she would ever be.
‘Fuck you, Jessie Flynn. Just who the fuck do you think you are? I’ve fucking bankrolled you, lady, and don’t you ever forget that. I won’t be made a cunt of, especially not by a fucking no-mark like you.’